I think it would be hard to be Marty's sig other..

[sheowl]

Hi All...

Started this question in another thread, but thought I might move it over here for other points of view so here it be:

Quick comment...wondered if anyone else might have a view on it:

As a wife of a former rockstar wannabe (hubby was in a band for ten years in Seattle and almost made it) I would think it would be really hard on a girlfriend of a person that just "made it big". What I mean is...(and I am not questioning Marty's morals...I dont know the man, and he seems pretty mature and kind natured) but on the road there are tons and tons of gorgeous groupies. Most all of whom would do and try to do anything to "get with a bandmember".

I was often shoved aside and trampled over by girls trying to get to my then boyfriend (my now husband) when he and his group played. I cant tell you how irritating it was, and my husband, bless his heart, just shrugged the girls off cause he said he was in love with me the day we met, and nothing was going to change that. But for men on the road, lonely, tired, bored after the show...well...I have seen too many musicians fall into the "girl in every port" syndrome.

Anyone want to comment?



(p.s. Thank you to tookskye for her comment which I will also include here to catch everyone up. )

posted by tookskye:

Ah, yes, the "groupie banger" guys...well, I think this phenomena depends on the guy.

I dated someone in a band and while one of his band mates tried to get with every hot chick that went to their performances, my guy said that girls that threw themselves at him just made him feel really uncomfortable...he didn't mind a genuine fan or the girls that subtly hinted at their interest but those that "lost it" kinda freaked him out (attractive or otherwise).

[hammeredinindy]

Sheowl, I really agree with you when you say it depends on the man. I would think maturity on the rockstar's part would help. I also think confidence on the part of the sig other in herself and what she has to offer helps. Insecurity and the constant need for reassurance has to wear on a person.

[julianah]

Hey Sheowl, I totally agree with you. I lived with a minor local celebrity for 6 years. I was pretty secure in our relationship, but it was hard sometimes. I didn't enjoy going to the shows when his band played. Looking around at women in the audience, staring at him, mouthing the words to the songs, as if he was singing just to them weirded me out. ('Cuz he was singing to ME!!!)

Women would come up and talk to him on the street and look right through me. They'd be flirting with him right in front of me as if I wasn't there. When his band went on tour, he'd call home after each show. I trusted him, but still, I had a few sleepless nights when he was away. He was very respectful of my feelings, but he, like most men, really likes attention from women and I can't really fault him for that. There is something in a performer's personality that makes them crave attention; if they wanted to be invisible they'd be singing and playing the guitar in the basement alone, not on stage. Hey, I'll admit it, I like attention too.

So, that being said, I can imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone who was really famous. I think it would be difficult no matter how confident you were and no matter how mature and considerate your significant other was. I mean, my ex was just well-known in a small city (in Nova Scotia!) and that sucked sometimes.

I'd prefer to fantasize about rockstars and settle down with an accountant or an engineer. It's so much easier.

[mrsbud]

I really think that Marty is the type of man who would be loyal if he was married or had a real sig other. He just doesn't seem the type to make it with every groupie that comes along. JD, on the other hand, totally comes off that way. He doesn't seem to respect women the was I think Marty probably does. Remember the answer to what are you going to miss most about the mansion? JD said, "All the chicks!" Marty added, "Yes, all the beautiful women." but said many times that all the womes in the house were either married or had boyfriends. I don't think he would ever call them chicks.

I heard the "birthday call" Mark & Brian at KLOS made to him. They ended it with something like, "get drunk and get laid." Marty chuckled, but the first thing that came to my mind was, "with who?" I just can't see him jumping in the sack with just anyone.

I'm probably holding him up on some sort of pedestal (he is a MAN

[mrsbud]

opps, didn't mean to post this yet.

I'm probably holding him up on some sort of pedestal (he is a MAN, after all). He just seems to be an intelligent man who is respectful of women (I'm sure his family has alot to do with that). I'm sure he's no angel, but maybe I'm just thinking of that angelic photo from Lithium with the glow behind him. Ha

[gdm3]

Marty did say that the mansion would have been a lot more interesting if the females did not have husbands or long term boyfriends...

Hmm... I think he is enjoying the attention, and he has the time to sit back and 'relax' for a while... while he picks and chooses his next 'ex'... or life long lover...

Whatever the case... I think it would be more difficult to be like the old fisherman story goes... that is to say he was the 'one that got away'...

[madlyconducted]

Well, I choose to believe that Marty is the perfect man...so ya'll don't ruin my fantasy! Groupies? What groupies? I'll show them...muahaha...

Alright, just kidding. I'm sure Marty's no angel (wow, mrsbud, you were right on about the lithium picture with the glow - how angelic!) but I still prefer to think of him as perfect because it's not like I'm ever going to meet him anyway, so right now that's who he is to me.

I really hope Marty does find (or maybe he already found) his soulmate. He seems so caring and sweet and sensitive and hot and those eyes....*sigh*.....um, what? Oh yeah...any woman would be more than lucky to have him! He deserves the best. Aww....now I feel all mushy. I just love Marty, can you tell?

[wildfire]

Imo...I think that Marty's upbringing will help him out with the temptations and all. I think that Marty's mom and sisters made sure that Marty was brought up to have great respect for women.

If Marty does have a significant other now or later...I guess that she would just have to put her trust and faith in him that he would not do her wrong.

On the other hand...Temptation is a powerful urge to resist sometimes.

Goodness! it seems I kind of split on this topic.

[rockbeast]

Well yeah it would be hard for her, but like wildfire said, you can tell Marty respects women as well as his fans and it sounds like he really cares deeply for his family and friends and fans.

After watching that snippet tonight on TV Guide channel, Marty came across like Marty aka Down to Earth, relaxed and open. J.D. on the other hand on this show, was talking like he was some rock idol or something. I can just see him the Elvis wannabee turning into a pompous self centered !#$*#!!

SheOwl- Hmmm, I wonder if I had heard of your hubbys band? I was quite involved with the scene here for years.

[sheowl]

Wow...great responses. I too wish to believe that Marty is far too evolved to fall into the groupie grind. Thanks everyone

Rockbeast: maybe you have?! Hadnt thought of that...hubby headed up the band - Terra Firma.

Here is a snippet about the band from one of their last critical reviews :

"Terra Firma -Earthbound
(Def Ear 98001-9, 1999, CD)

Climbing out the morass of thrash bands and Pearl Jam clones ascends a new Seattle area group with its feet rooted in Terra Firma and its head in the cosmos. Forget your preconceived notions of space rock (Hawkwind, Ozrics, et. al.). Terra Firma has redefined the genre combining elements from grunge, goth, psychedelia, and sci-fi/space rock in a revitalizing pangalactic gargleblaster. Earthbound is space rock with a razor edge, more attuned to the world of Bladerunner than interplanetary flight. Terra Firma borrows freely from Bladerunner and includes samples from the movie's climax in "Electric Sheep" as well as references in other songs. The Legendary Pink Dots sci-fi masterpiece "Andromeda Suite" is another point of departure for Terra Firma, just listen to "Strange Hallways". Then there is the Jefferson Airplane's drug anthem, "White Rabbit", which Terra Firma takes into territory where the Airplane feared to tread. Other similarities are the Stones "Sympathy for the Devil" in "Darker Days", Fields of the Nephilim's "Celebrate" in "Earthbound Traveler", and Also Sprach Zarathustra in "Odyssey". At times darkly violent and others beautifully ambient, Earthbound delivers more than expected. Earthbound could easily be one of this year's best new releases! But beware, Earthbound is addictive and you may find yourself unable to stop listening. Highly recommended. - Henry Schneider"

[lovelife3000]

I believe that Marty is a good person, most of us try to be but he is human and subject to faults...like mrsbud stated "he is a man." Marty is a young, good looking guy, why shouldn't he enjoy himself, if that means playing field then so be it, I see nothing wrong with that, it's his business. I respect everyone's opinions on Marty, I have my own fantasies as far as he is concerned too but I don't want to put him on a pedastel, when you do that with anyone, celebrity or not, you set yourself up for disappointment. No offense meant to anyone, just my opinion.

[Stiletto]

julianah said:

I'd prefer to fantasize about rockstars and settle down with an accountant or an engineer. It's so much easier.

Hey..I can sing and (ahem)....swing the hips.....I also have a lego set and an abacus...he he.....

[sheowl]

Stiletto: If you can cook, clean and do your own laundry...well, your the perfect man!!!!!

lovelife3000 - I agree with you, unless the man in question does have a sig other, I myself (although I like to tease my husband that I would leave him for Marty) am very monogomous.

I guess I first thought to ask my question of everyone due to the recent conjecture that M.C. might be involved with someone, and I thought about if that were the case, how difficult all this could be on their relationship.

P.S. I dont wish to add to the conjecture or any rumors that may surround M.C. and any g.f. he might have. If he is in a relationship that is wonderful, it doesnt matter to me one snit, and I hope he is happy, if not, I know he could have his choice and hope he finds his one and only when he's ready.

[Stiletto]

sheowl said:

Stiletto: If you can cook, clean and do your own laundry...well, your the perfect man!!!!!

I can do all of that actually....but...ahhhh.....I try not to let too many people know it.......so how about it just stays our little secret?........

[mrsbud]

lovelife3000 said:

. . . but I don't want to put him on a pedastel, when you do that with anyone, celebrity or not, you set yourself up for disappointment. No offense meant to anyone, just my opinion.

Yeah, I think pedestal was too strong a word. I just meant that I have an impression that he is not the kind of guy who just sleeps around. Like I said, he IS a man. I really hope that he does have or finds a sig other. Maybe, a good woman will help inspire him in his future songwriting. I think he'll be a great catch for some lucky woman, and I hope whoever she is, she treats him right.