Holiday Traditions

[Cheza]

jillywilly65 said:

Man oh man did I want to have a good Holiday this year, but me and the mom in law had a big a** fight. After 6 years I keep hoping that we can make peace and be civil but my hubbies family stood him up for his birthday party and I snapped. I called her names I never should have and I hurt my hubby but he agrees that the family dissed me one time too many. So this new tradition will be the two of us alone for Christmas, watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy. At least we have each other. That is a gift in itself.
I hope your families fair better than mine

Later

Jill

We all do things we regret from time to time. Believe me. I think it's wonderful your husband realizes and understands that they were in the wrong! That is SO MAJOR.

Like I said, I love my grandma, dad, and my dad's side of the family, but I just can't deal with them. They are always trying to tell me how to live my life. Gran loves to tell me how much my dad misses me and loves me, but I haven't seen him in over three years or even talked to him on the phone. He never calls me and I know for a fact he has been in town...Conveniently, I just wasn't notified.

However, the last time he was in town (at least that I know of), she was in the hospital and called to try to get us together. At first, I was going to go. Then I got ....I thought, "If he misses me so much, then why isn't HE calling? Why does all this 'he misses you and loves you and wishes you would call' come from her?" Actions speak louder than words...my mom, ever my defender, called back out there and called her on it. Gran's excuse for HIM not calling? "He's afraid it might cause trouble..."

Dad is remarried, mom is not. If he's that afraid of wife number two, who he has been married to longer than my mom, then that's his deal...not mine.

I didn't mean to intentionally cut them out of my life, and that's how they think of it and tell me so at each chance they get (including holiday and birthday cards). However, in the long run - it was their actions that caused me to stop coming around. I'm 33 and I'm an adult. My life is my own.

Sorry, didn't mean to get so serious.

Peace.

[starcrossed]

Cheza I am sorry to hear that you are in the same lack of holiday traditions boat as myself. It hurts...

I remember the time that I had with my Grandparents ( Tony and Lucy) almost every single day that passes. They raised me and my older brother up from a babies, because both my parents had to work to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. I grew up with them. They were both so different, yet complimented each other so beautifully. I credit any strength that I have as an person to them. They always taught me to be true to myself. They were my hearts breath and when they went away (first my grandmother and later my grandfather) I died...

I woke up into a new life. A place that I still can't understand and where I feel so out of place sometimes. My creativity is often put down, and I have even been called a disappointment once to often; just because I think openly about life and hate structure.

I went to college and have my degree, worked with the corporate types, and was miserable. I want to do more with my life than what others want for me, and somehow that has made me a disappointment to others in my family.

I have learned to live with it.

I love my family....My grandparents taught me how important that
is in life.

I am sorry that my family has stopped trying and that the traditions have been lost for the little ones. Honestly, the kids are the ones who will suffer without the traditions. As it is most of them think even gathering for the holiday is lame and this year no one is getting together.

My parents are coming over to visit my son on Christmas Day sometime in the afternoon, and that morning I will go to my Mother-in-laws for breakfast.

Honestly, being around my NEW family is hard for me. I miss my blood kin. I know in my head that they are my family now, but sometimes it makes me realize my loss that much more within my heart.

Life is hard...but we have to make the most with what we have and I have started to try out some new traditions.

For example, I went out and bought myself a Christmas present. I bought an IDOG for my IPOD. It's cute, and so not practical. I am even going to wrap it up and put it under the tree! I'm a mom and a wife, I think I deserve to treat myself at least once without guilt.

And I think I am going to make it a tradition to leave Santa cookies and milk out again (for my son's sake) and open presents on Christmas morning (my parent's had us open them all on Christmas eve).

As traditions are lost, let's start anew....

[dawn]

jillywilly65 said:

Dawn thanks for the kind words, I hope things settle too.
A veggie breakfast sounds so yummy. Maybe a quiche with mushrooms and peppers and tomatoes and onion?? I am making myself hungry oh and throw in some zucchini too with extra cheese and I'll be right over. I'll use my invisible Wonder Woman jet ;D
Have a great time and I think I may rent the Muppets Christmas movie, I haven;t seen that one. I love Miss Piggy

Take Care,

Jilly

Highly recommend Muppets Christmas Carol - Miss Piggy was always my hero! Your veggie breakfast sounds so much nicer to what my mum will be cooking - I'll have to come & visit you! ;D

Have a fab christmas, lock the door & snuggle up with the ones you love that's what I hope to do.

[whatsmynameagainn]

Bump for Christmas!!

[jenn]

I grew up a Jehovah's Witness and my husband's family never really had any Christmas traditions so we only really have a couple.We always buy a new kids movie for our kids and let them open it together on Christmas eve so they can watch it.On Christmas morning we always have hot chocolate and some left over homemade cookies for breakfast.

Sharon and Jilly,sorry for your losses on such good things with your fathers being gone.This year has been very hard for me,in fact I'm still having a very difficult time since my father passed away last January.It's almost been a year and I wonder sometimes how long it's gonna take for the pain to subside.He died only 5 weeks before my last child was born and he was so excited for a new grandbaby to be on the way.I look at my baby and sometimes have such mixed feelings because I am so happy she is here,I love her so much but at the same time I get so sad he never saw her. :'(I was the one who had a 12 year Anniversary and Marty sang WYWH to us.If he would not have done that I would have been bawling during that song but with him right in front of me all I could do was sit there and take it all in grinning. I told Marty this after the show when we were talking and he said maybe my father was there in spirit.I thought that was so sweet.What a guy!

Sorry to get off topic.I have enjoyed reading everyone's traditions.My son just turned on Polar Express,we usually watch this a couple of times during the holiday season.

[greeneyes]

Sweet, Jenn! Now when you think of your father during the holidays you'll remember Marty's kind comment about him too. This will be my first Christmas without my Grandpa, the man who cried as he opened each Christmas gift from his children and grandchildren. I'll never forget.

But you mentioned movies... and that's one of my favorite things during December. Putting on the PJs, grabbing the and (but the kids drink something carbonated ) and watching movies with the kiddos.

[jillywilly65]

Jenn that was so sweet of Marty to say. What a gem he is :-)
I am sitting here teary eyed reading everyones posts from a year ago and things have changed with the mom in law and me. We were at her house today and she was super nice to me and Rob and even wants to help us get on top of our bills and stuff??! It was pretty surreal for sure, nothing like last year.
Everyones memories were very special, I appreciate you guys sharing. I don't know if i will ever stop missing my mom and dad at Christmas?? But thats okay

[dawn]

jillywilly65 said:

Jenn that was so sweet of Marty to say. What a gem he is :-)
I am sitting here teary eyed reading everyones posts from a year ago and things have changed with the mom in law and me. We were at her house today and she was super nice to me and Rob and even wants to help us get on top of our bills and stuff??! It was pretty surreal for sure, nothing like last year.
Everyones memories were very special, I appreciate you guys sharing. I don't know if i will ever stop missing my mom and dad at Christmas?? But thats okay

That's great news Jilly I just looked through to find out if I'd posted it looks like our Christmas will be the same as last year. But it's nice, because I get to spend it firstly with my family and then later on in the day with Arts.

[jenn]

Yes,Jilly that is great!I hate when there is someone in the family not getting along.

[whatsmynameagainn]

here is mine again...

yes - here is our big holiday thing that we do every year

my parents are divorced so....

Christmas Eve:

make a few dishes

go to my grandma's (we call her Nanny, she is gma on my dad's side of family and we have

gone every year since I was born) and my kids and I, my dad, my brother, my aunt and cousins, and Nanny are there

eat dinner, read the birth story from the bible (the littlest kid that can read always does this)

go to the den, open presents (my cousins are spoiled to getting literally 100 presents on christmas, and my kids get around 10 which is plenty....so my kids and i take turns opening and showing each other in our corner of the room while the cousins tear paper eveyrwhere LOL)

pack up the presents and say bye

go to my mom's around 9pm

put the kids to bed and try desperately to make them fall asleep

after they are asleep we barricade the entrance to the living room which is where the tree is

turn on A Christmas Story with no volume

my brother and I go and bring in the Santa Claus stuff (the goods, you know, the really cool presents, the kids get 6 or 7 each)

we open them, put together, put batteries in, check it all outside quietly, and arrange everything around the tree like a massive toy store display - we put Amber's stuff on one side and Jake's on the other

eat the cookies that are for "Santa" and leave a note courtesy of my stepdad's computer

my mom gets everyone's stockings and disappears to her room to fill them with stuff

by then it's about 1am or so - parents go to bed, me and my brother stay up for a while and chat

go to sleep

around 6am, kids get up and run like crazy with thier new stuff and scream through the house all excited

we all make breakfast (usually breakfast pizza, or biscuits and gravy) and my mom gets that sparkling cider and decorates the table up

eat breakfast

go to living room and open presents that my mom's side of the family gets us (usually around 10 more presents LOL)

open the stockings and try to keep the kids from overdosing on candy

get dressed - get the kids ready

we always always always watch Harry Potter movies and Lord of the Rings all day on Christmas after the kids leave

get big boxes and pack up all the new stuff and load it up

eat a snack

go back home and unload it all at around 8pm...

that is our tradition

xoxoxo
Rachel