Get back to work!!!

[Stiletto]

For my fellow Canadian.......lol......whoever you are........

Why Canadians are so tired: No wonder...we're so
tired! The population of Canada is 30 million. 11
million are retired,
that leaves 19 million to do the work.


There are 5.5 million in school, which leaves 13.5
million to do the work.

Of this there are 3 million employed by the federal government,leaving
10.5 million to do the work.


1 million are in the armed forces,preoccupied
with killing Terrorists, which leaves 9.5 million to
do the work.

Take from that total the 7 million people who work
for Provincial and city Governments, and that leaves
2.5 million to do the work.


At any given time, there are 476,000 people in
hospitals,leaving 2,024,000 to do the work .


Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons and

812,000 on Employment Insurance and Welfare.


That leaves just two people to do the work. You and
me.

And there you are sitting on your ass, at your
computer,reading jokes.


Nice. ................ Really nice.

[Ayesa86]

hehe^^ You crazy Canadians^^

[dawn]

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D That's fab Stilleto!

[Stiletto]

ayesa86 said:

hehe^^ You crazy Canadians^^

lol.......you bet'cha!!

[starcrossed]

I am not from Canada, but Thank you Stiletto.

[Trees]

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


Yet I like to think I'm semi-retired

[cfbj01]

No wonder I'm so tired - doing 1/2 the work of the whole country!

[Trees]

Hi everyone:

A friend of mine sent this out to people on his mailing list.

What it is are actual excerpts of what lawyers asked witnesses in court, in Canada. Yeah...they're the Real McCoy!

Split your guts!




ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the mpact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at
all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________



ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________________________________________


ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________________


ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you
go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy on him!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
______________________________________



ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law

No

True Story

[starcrossed]

What?.....LOL.....

[cfbj01]

Very funny Trees.

[starcrossed]

Is anyone working??...LOL

[Trees]

;D ;D ;D Sort of

Thanks Star for caring who is doing all the work here in Canada ;D

[starcrossed]

I know you are working hard Trees!!! Go Canada!!!!

[Trees]

Awww thanks Hun Your sure your not Canadian? You've been working hard around here too

[starcrossed]

Thank you Trees....

Me...nope...not Canadian. US born and raised, but I still think that Canada rocks!!! So much talent has come from Canada, how could I think any less of such a terrific place?...Canada!!!!

[dawn]

;D ;D I love those jokes ;D ;D

[starcrossed]

Hi Dawn!

[dawn]

Sorry I missed you Star - Hi, hope you're ok.