I just posted this story on the 18+ board, but there's nothing naughty in it so I'll share it with everyone.
____________________________________________________
MARTY: Juliana, your roots look fabulous.
JULIANA: Thanks, Marty, you always do a great job. You're like the Beethoven of bleach.
MARTY: Tee hee hee. Stop it that tickles.
JULIANA: I'm not doing anything.
MARTY: Yes you are. You're playing this little piggy with my toes.
JULIANA: No I'm not...
MARTY: Tee hee hee....
JULIANA: Marty, stop grabbing my boobs. That hurts.
MARTY: Tee hee hee.. I'm not touching your boobs... What's that sparkly stuff?
JULIANA: It looks like glitter. What the hell is that?...
JD: It ain't pretty....
MARTY: JD, what are you doing here? Juliana and I are having some private time together. I told you before, I only love you as a friend.
JD: But, Marty, dude, in Nova Scotia, friends take baths together all the time, right Juliana? Come on, back me up on this...
MARTY: Was that you tickling my toes?
JULIANA: Were you grabbing my boobs too?
JD: Yeah, I was just practising my counting. Juliana, you have THREE boobs!! That totally rocks!!!
MARTY: No, JD, she only has two.
JD: I just counted them, Dude, and there are definitely three of them. And you know what else?
MARTY: What?
JD: You have ELEBBEN toes, Marty!!!
MARTY: JD, you need to go away... NOW.
JD: No need to be rude, dude... I was leaving anyway. I used too much glitterglue and this megaphone is stuck to my lips. I think I need to go to the emergency room. Later.
MARTY: Thank God he's gone. This bubble bath was a really good idea, Juliana. It's very relaxing.
JULIANA: Yup. It would be even more relaxing if you would stop farting, though.
MARTY: I only farted once.
JULIANA: Marty, I've seen at least 2 dozen fart bubbles in the last 10 minutes...
MARTY: It wasn't me. You know, Juliana... the one who names it claims it...
JD: Hey dudes. Sorry about the farting. I'm silent, but violent.
MARTY: JD, how did you get the megaphone off your face?
JD: Pengilly lubed it with his moustache wax and it slipped right off. Look what I found on the bottom of the tub --- Juliana's panties!!!
JULIANA: Those ARE my panties, JD, but I didn't wear them in here. I think I know what's going on.
MARTY: I don't understand.
JD: I'll go investigate, Dude. I have to go back down there anyway. I lost my sunglasses.
MARTY: So, Juliana, how DID your panties end up in the tub?...
JULIANA: You'll see. It will all make sense as soon as JD surfaces.
MARTY: What is he doing down there? There's a lot of kicking and splashing going on...
MIG: G'day mates!! JD, I want those panties back. Juliana gave those to me. She said I could have them. You really hurt my feelings when you stole them.
JD: I'm sorry Dude. Can you ever forgive me?
MIG: I don't know, mate. This isn't the first time you've offended me. I think we should have a long, long talk about it.
MARTY: Juliana, I'm scared.
JULIANA: Me too, Marty. Me too...