Usually, when the day comes where I trim my Christmas tree with all of its shiny baubles, I put on my old and cherished collection of Christmas Music to set the mood. This year for some reason, when I reached for my beloved carols, my hand closed on my new and much-played Lovehammers CD and wouldn’t let go.
With a shrug and a grin I popped it in my player and set to work on the tree. With a hum and a headbop I circled the tree, hanging ribbons and bows, sparkly lights, beads, candy canes and tinsel. As I moved around the back of the tree for the elebbenth time, and reached up high to place a particularily charming little blue guitar, I suddenly found myself falling headfirst into the depths of it's green boughs.
When I came to my senses, I found myself sitting nestled in the crook of a branch. It was quite peaceful and pleasant, but the tree needed to be finished so I pushed aside the branches in front of me and climbed out. The Lovehammers CD was still playing, but strange . . . I didn’t remember hearing them sing "All I Want For Christmas" before . .
As I scratched my head in puzzlement and pulled tinsel out of my hair, I suddenly had the strangest feeling I was being watched. I looked around and noticed I was not in my living room, but in a very large and charming cavern with red and green silk tapestry walls and rustic wooden floors. The room was filled with tables of all sizes, containing . . .wonder of wonders . . . enough little Marty, Billy, Bobby and Dino dolls to bring joy to every girl with a special Christmas wish this year. And just to add to the fun, there were all kinds of dolls to fit those with a second wish and a soft spot for another special Rockstar contestant, talented houseband member, or INXS legend. There were even charming BigBro, Rockbeast and Stiletto dolls, as well as a Dan Howard doll complete with confetti cannon.
Piled high on all corners of the many tables were huge boxes full of playsets, and little wee boxes full of accessories of every description. Littering the floor were all manner of objects, from eggnog beer cans to little plastic teacups, red ties and bottles of black nailpolish. Under one table there was even, strangely, a cowbell and a feather boa.
I feasted my eyes on the scene, for everywhere I looked there was a little Marty. There were little dancing Martys dressed in little black capris and sandals, refusing to pour beer into all the little glasses being patiently held up by all the other little Rockstar contestants. Little Martys smashing little blue guitars against the table legs (mental note to check later if little blue guitar is still hanging on my tree), little Martys hypnotizing little Marty Fangirls with their georgeous little blue eyes, little Martys swinging upside down from the chandeliers, and best of all, little artist Martys holding microphones and doing gravity defying backbends, while singing heart and soul to the world.
While looking around in amazement, it finally came to me that I was no longer in my living room. I still couldn’t get over the feeling that I was being watched, and finally, after looking down, saw 4 pairs of friendly little eyes peering up at me. (There was also an additional pair of little creepy eyes, but I did my best to ignore them).
“Ummm . . . hi?” said I.
“Hi” they all said in unison. “We are told you come from mc.org, but we don’t recognize you”.
“Yes” I said, “I’m Franny2, the pomegranate girl. And you must be Santa’s elves . . . I’ve been reading so much about you. This is a special year."
“Yes” cheered all the elves, "We’ve been waiting for you. Poor Bilbob needs help and we think we’re all done, but we don’t know what we should do next”.
I was so happy to be there that I forgot myself and started hugging all the elves, Dinno (who immediately offered me a Beernog), Suzjor (who sniffled all over my shoulder) and Brodav (who asked me if I had seen his/her feather boa anywhere). When I got to Miggy, for some reason he just waved and backed away very slowly. I was a little hurt, but he told me not to take it personally. Said something about too much love from beachgirl already. . .? I left Timgar for last, but only offered him my hand (which he tried to stuff in his shirt . . . ew).
I asked them to show me Bilbob first, who I hadn’t seen right away because he was sitting at a table behind a huge mountain of red pillows. I wondered why he was screaming, but then realized all the noise was coming from a little Marty who was opening a red envelope. It was obvious that Bilbob was in a trance, so I removed the Marty doll and led Bilbob gently over to the red pillow stack. I picked him up carefully and tossed him right into the middle of the stack, where he quickly nestled in and began to snore.
“Well”, I said, “What’s next?”
“We don’t KNOW what’s next” they said in unison.
“How about we start wrapping these gifts?” I suggested.
“Yes, of course”, they sang, jumping up and down and doing backflips. Dinno even climbed up and swung from the chandelier with one of the little Martys. “Thank you, how could we have forgotten”.
The elves busily got to work, dragging out reams of shiny, colourful wrapping paper. With renewed energy they wrapped and taped, and we tied their gifts with beautiful bows. There was only one little crisis amid all of this when Timgar went missing. After much calling and searching, the other elves found him wrapped up and grinning inside a gift which contained a Deanna doll and a gorilla slipper.
Finally all of the gifts were wrapped. The elves and I gazed at them with delight, but we all felt there was still something missing. After deliberating over a few Beernogs, we decided that the Lovehammers were exactly what was needed.
After digging through Timgor’s pockets, we finally found the fairy dust. In an instant ** POOF ** the Lovehammers were there in all their glory. And they only had one thing to say:
“W H A T ! ! !”
“Well”, I said, unable to keep from grinning from ear to ear and barely able to stop myself from jumping up to swing from the chandelier with little Marty, “We need something only you can give to finish these wonderful gifts. We need your personal touch. Something that will tell all of your fans that you care as much as they do”.
And with that, Marty, Dino, Bobby and Billy set to work writing personal notes to go along with all of the gifts. After another liberal sprinkling of fairy dust and much Beernog and laughter (Marty needed help at one point, so I sat in his lap and helped him drink his Beernog while he wrote) incredibly they were done in just a few hours.
With all the little notes attached, the gifts were an incredible sight to behold . . . but my job was done . . . and with great regret I bade extremely fond farewell to all of the Lovehammers before they were whisked away. As I gave Marty a good-bye hug, I whispered in his ear, “Although you won’t remember this day when you get home, please remember when we meet again that you knew me when . . . and that I was the one you shared your Beernog with.”
**Poof** they were gone, and from somewhere there came a little shove and I was once again nestled in the crook of a branch in my Christmas tree. As I clambered back out I knew in my heart that it was over and I was back in my living room. But how odd . . . the song “All I Want For Christmas" really IS on my Lovehammer CD!!! And what’s that in my pocket? A little screaming, red-evelope Marty!
And a note . . . .
