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Post by starcrossed on Oct 13, 2008 20:26:15 GMT -5
LOL @ Blue... It might be still 'hard' for you to write, but it is easy to see that you are making progress. Keep it up  |
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 13, 2008 20:45:29 GMT -5
Here is a new one that I wrote...
Maybe it's o.k...
I can't say,
That I honestly have all the answers.
Most of the time,
I still feel unsafe and alone.
On pages of paper,
They all read my life like a poem.
Still, I am human...
More than words gathered in a line.
My heart isn't hidden,
But it is very much mine.
Maybe it's o.k...
To not be perfect.
Mistakes,
Happen all the time.
Maybe it's o.k..
To ask for directions,
When I get lost on my path.
No reason to fear,
Anyone's wrath.
Maybe it's o.k...
To not want to talk.
Perhaps, I don't need to carry on conversations...
While I inwardly crave to walk off.
Maybe it's o.k...
That I need to release all my fears,
And just cry.
Tears are just water,
Like that which falls from the sky.
If I pretended to be perfect,
Then I would be living a lie.
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Post by cgs2007 on Oct 13, 2008 21:11:17 GMT -5
wow amazing steph. there is so much truth in that.
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 14, 2008 0:39:35 GMT -5
Thank you Christine |
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Post by blueeyz on Oct 14, 2008 10:13:35 GMT -5
Star, I really like that one!  |
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Post by jillywilly65 on Oct 14, 2008 11:12:10 GMT -5
Steph I like that one and yes it's OK!!!! |
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Post by jillywilly65 on Oct 14, 2008 11:27:49 GMT -5
Hey Ladies I thought of something fun we could do for Boston. I came up with the start of a poem and I am going to post it. I have left off the rest so you all , Blue, Steph, Tine, Rachel,and anyone else can each Add a verse to it to inspire Liz. Here it goes gang. How Lizzie got her Groove BackIt was a cold and quiet early morn, and Lizzie could no longer sleep. She grabbed her pen and paper and took a stroll down on the beach. She walked for some time to reflect and regroup When she heard a loud thunderous Clap! It was just the spark she needed....................................
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Post by blueeyz on Oct 14, 2008 13:37:12 GMT -5
A great big wave hit the shore unexpectedly;
Knocked poor Lizzie down, nearly dragged her out to sea!
She was out cold for a while, and when she finally came to
She looked up and saw a surfer, with blonde hair, and eyes so blue.
Although still dazed from the fall, she knew he looked familiar.
Bending down, he smiled sweetly, and he kindly whispered to her...
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 14, 2008 15:24:04 GMT -5
All you have to do,
Is believe in you.
So Lizzie got up,
On her two feet.
Thanked the kind surfer,
Who looked like a dream.
She contemplated all,
That she had just seen.
Walking back,
To drier land.
She realized,
Than she no longer needed anyone to hold her hand.
It took a moment,
For her,
To gather her thoughts.
She then began to write.
Her creativity,
Was never lost.
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bostongirl
Welcoming Committee Member 
Hope - the only cure all
Posts: 1,511
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Post by bostongirl on Oct 14, 2008 21:52:41 GMT -5
Wait, wait!!!! What did he whisper in her ear?? I am quite sure that Lizzie would not have left a blonde haired, blue eyed surfer that quickly  Quite sure  With pen in hand, she began to think About her latest adventures Lizzie was a girl that looked fear in the face It never got in her way of getting some place So why hesitate with this new found world Perhaps that old fear of being ridiculed She needed to be brave and conquer her doubts And let all that creativity come out As she began to write her latest story Her mind wandered back to those crystal blues She thought and thought to remember his words " Life can be fun if you let it, it all can be yours" So she began to write her latest materpiece And dedicate it to those she likes to please Her friends in the Vault who always cheer her on And the blonde in the surf who now is long gone The End Thanks Jill for the fun inspiration. And Blue and Steph for your fun words  I think Lizzie has her groove back.  |
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Post by cgs2007 on Oct 14, 2008 22:14:51 GMT -5
aww yay! i felt that steph ended it very nicely! she did a good job they all did!
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 14, 2008 22:28:23 GMT -5
It is supposed to be inspirational... ah... but, if he whispered in her ear then it would have gone a whole different direction in terms of "inspiration"... LMAO
I am glad that your creativity came back Boston... I never thought it was lost. You are too strong of a person to let that happen, when you just found your voice so strongly. I think it was just waiting on life to calm down a bit...
Big thanks to Jill for starting this poem of inspiration for you, and allowing Blue and I, to finish it's missing parts.
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bostongirl
Welcoming Committee Member
Hope - the only cure all
Posts: 1,511
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Post by bostongirl on Oct 14, 2008 22:50:48 GMT -5
Well, according to Blue he did... apparently Lizzie got groove back, but her humor seems to have got lost in the translation..... Back to the drawing boards Thanks Steph |
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Post by jillywilly65 on Oct 15, 2008 6:28:31 GMT -5
 Yay Liz you finished it so well! I never doubted your gifting for one second...sometimes we just need the embers fanned and it was fun to do for ya! You still got your writers mojo for sure! I think Blue and Steph did real good too, especially jumping in on someone Else's train of thought. I think it was fun and we should do this more often  love yo all! Jilly
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bostongirl
Welcoming Committee Member
Hope - the only cure all
Posts: 1,511
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Post by bostongirl on Oct 15, 2008 8:01:36 GMT -5
Thanks Jill!!! It was alot of fun and we should definitely do it again. |
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Post by blueeyz on Oct 15, 2008 11:14:56 GMT -5
Well done, Liz (or should we start calling you Lizzie now..lol)!! A little humor mixed in with inspiration...looks like that's what ya needed! Have a great day everyone! Shelly (or Blue, as I've become accustomed to that name here 
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IWOmusic
18 and over
pianissimo
Charter Member Since Sep 2005
Posts: 2,045
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Post by IWOmusic on Oct 15, 2008 14:14:06 GMT -5
Hi guys, you're hilarious with Lizzy lol I stop here every so often and it's always interesting to see what's inside your minds. I admire you for being so revealing with your personal lives. Many of you are quite reserved in the real world ... who would have guessed you had extroverts screaming inside, trying to get out! Sharing deep & personal stuff on this forum in poems is like standing naked in front of the crowd. I hope sometimes it is like standing in front of a mirror as well. You open yourself up for all sort of criticisms, though because of the friendly nature of this forum you only see posted the positive. I see lot of hard work being poured in some poems but also some mediocre stuff. Unconditional support can only get us so far ... then one needs to sharpen their skills through constructive criticism and discourse. I'd like to see more posts (respectfully) pointing out areas that need development. Of course continue the supportive back-slapping as well. This gentle place created by Stephanie has truly been a great space to be nourished... I hope it too can become a place to grow in the craft of writing. Iwo  |
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 15, 2008 15:25:56 GMT -5
Thank you Iwo for that feedback. This thread it is about writer's finding their voices and sharing their creativity without fear of having other judge them for expressing themselves. Should they personally ask for the negative comments to come, well as far as I am concerned that is something that each writer here on the thread can determine on their own and ask for that feedback. I would personally ask that it be kept in pm's, rather than here on the open boards for the world to read. That way all writer's can feel free to post with no worries about being judged for their works... especially new writer's that just want to have fun with it and express themselves. We have to remember,that not everyone posting on this thread is doing it for the same reasons. And, some writer's are just starting to find their voices. So... let's just stay positive here... thank you  ~Steph |
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IWOmusic
18 and over
pianissimo
Charter Member Since Sep 2005
Posts: 2,045
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Post by IWOmusic on Oct 15, 2008 16:11:08 GMT -5
Steph, I think you misunderstood my post. Constructive criticism is not negative. Wile many of the supportive posts are kind, you can't tell if the person actually read your poem. With constructive comments, you know the reader actually cares about what your wrote. I could post "I just wrote another poem in my diary, that I keep hidden under my pillow" and get support. The fact that one chooses to post in a public place means there is something different about it ... and it should be different. The act of posting in any public place by its very nature creates opinions in the minds of the reader. The only difference taking your route is you won't know what those opinions are. Why assume a comment will go in a negative direction? Unlike PM'ing, a public post can create a dialog that not only involves one writer and one reader. "Finding one's voice" does not need to bee a solitary journey. Now isn't that much better than hiding the diary? Iwo |
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 15, 2008 17:20:26 GMT -5
I agree Iwo... and I want the writer's here on the thread to grow. They all know that on this thread, that kind of discussion regarding works can occur and often do. Perhaps, we do not always go into depth in analysis on each work, but we do openly encourage each other to continue posting and writing. Which, will also help each writer develop their own style. I still would like to point out that even though not all constructive criticism is negative, that not all people are going to be receptive to it. They might feel that all criticism is coming from a negative place (which defeats the purpose of constructive criticism). This in turn may cause the writer to lose confidence. So, I am just hoping that anyone posting would just take that into consideration as they do critique any work posted. So show some love...  |
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