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Post by starcrossed on Oct 15, 2008 17:28:29 GMT -5
P.S... And I still believe that pm's are best for critique's for many reason's. One including, that not everyone wants to have their work critiqued where everyone can see. It took a world of strength and courage to step out here and share their emotions in the first place. Naked... in front of the mirror or not... all these writer's show heart and I stand by each and every single one of them. I have been there before... it isn't easy and I won't let them feel alone. I support there creativity in my own way... that is being positive. Let's face it... in this world we have to deal with enough negativity everyday. Here shouldn't be one of those places...  With much respect to all, Steph |
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BBE
18 and over
Melvinite
Posts: 1,288 
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Post by BBE on Oct 15, 2008 17:51:48 GMT -5
I would like to propose a solution to this situation.
I suggest that there be one thread for people to share their writing as is, without fear of criticism, and another thread for people to post works that they want to have critiqued.
Not everyone wants every work critiqued, and not all works were intended to be "works of art" subject to criticism, but are simply expressions of a person's feelings at that time.
Perhaps those who wish to critique works should post their own works, and also give us all some idea of what their own writing experience and critiquing qualifications are. Speaking strictly for myself, I would find a critique of my writing from a professional writer or language arts teacher more meaningful than a critique from someone just based on their own personal opinion.
I've been considering posting some of my poetry here, so I find this discussion very interesting.
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 15, 2008 18:07:34 GMT -5
Great to see you Nancy  You are more than welcome to join this thread anytime. |
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bostongirl
Welcoming Committee Member 
Hope - the only cure all
Posts: 1,511
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Post by bostongirl on Oct 15, 2008 19:17:56 GMT -5
Hi guys, you're hilarious with Lizzy lol I stop here every so often and it's always interesting to see what's inside your minds. I admire you for being so revealing with your personal lives. Many of you are quite reserved in the real world ... who would have guessed you had extroverts screaming inside, trying to get out! Sharing deep & personal stuff on this forum in poems is like standing naked in front of the crowd. I hope sometimes it is like standing in front of a mirror as well. You open yourself up for all sort of criticisms, though because of the friendly nature of this forum you only see posted the positive. I see lot of hard work being poured in some poems but also some mediocre stuff. Unconditional support can only get us so far ... then one needs to sharpen their skills through constructive criticism and discourse. I'd like to see more posts (respectfully) pointing out areas that need development. Of course continue the supportive back-slapping as well. This gentle place created by Stephanie has truly been a great space to be nourished... I hope it too can become a place to grow in the craft of writing. Iwo [img src=" ![]() martycasey.org/emoticons/hugs.gif"] [/IMG] [/quote] Steph, I think you misunderstood my post. Constructive criticism is not negative. Wile many of the supportive posts are kind, you can't tell if the person actually read your poem. With constructive comments, you know the reader actually cares about what your wrote. I could post "I just wrote another poem in my diary, that I keep hidden under my pillow" and get support. The fact that one chooses to post in a public place means there is something different about it ... and it should be different. The act of posting in any public place by its very nature creates opinions in the minds of the reader. The only difference taking your route is you won't know what those opinions are. Why assume a comment will go in a negative direction? Unlike PM'ing, a public post can create a dialog that not only involves one writer and one reader. "Finding one's voice" does not need to bee a solitary journey. Now isn't that much better than hiding the diary? Iwo [img src=" ![]() martycasey.org/emoticons/hugs.gif"] [/IMG] [img src=" ![]() martycasey.org/emoticons/cheers.gif"][/IMG] [/quote] Iwo - I am quite certain that people have not misinterpreted your post. Your message was very clear. |
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Post by blueeyz on Oct 15, 2008 19:29:04 GMT -5
The nature and vibe of this thread is to share, give kudos, advice when one of us is "stuck," and to have fun. At one point I considered saying that if someone wanted to critique my poem, they were more than welcome. I decided against it when I figured people had better things to do.  Perhaps another thread, like Nancy suggested, would be appropriate. I agree with Steph in that some might not really want constructive criticism, but just a chance to express themselves. But others might like the critiques....hence the separate thread. My two cents.... Blue |
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IWOmusic
18 and over
pianissimo
Charter Member Since Sep 2005
Posts: 2,045
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Post by IWOmusic on Oct 15, 2008 19:50:05 GMT -5
Hi guys, you're hilarious with Lizzy lol I stop here every so often and it's always interesting to see what's inside your minds. I admire you for being so revealing with your personal lives. Many of you are quite reserved in the real world ... who would have guessed you had extroverts screaming inside, trying to get out! Sharing deep & personal stuff on this forum in poems is like standing naked in front of the crowd. I hope sometimes it is like standing in front of a mirror as well. You open yourself up for all sort of criticisms, though because of the friendly nature of this forum you only see posted the positive. I see lot of hard work being poured in some poems but also some mediocre stuff. Unconditional support can only get us so far ... then one needs to sharpen their skills through constructive criticism and discourse. I'd like to see more posts (respectfully) pointing out areas that need development. Of course continue the supportive back-slapping as well. This gentle place created by Stephanie has truly been a great space to be nourished... I hope it too can become a place to grow in the craft of writing. Iwo [img src=" ![]() martycasey.org/emoticons/hugs.gif"] [/IMG] [/quote] Steph, I think you misunderstood my post. Constructive criticism is not negative. Wile many of the supportive posts are kind, you can't tell if the person actually read your poem. With constructive comments, you know the reader actually cares about what your wrote. I could post "I just wrote another poem in my diary, that I keep hidden under my pillow" and get support. The fact that one chooses to post in a public place means there is something different about it ... and it should be different. The act of posting in any public place by its very nature creates opinions in the minds of the reader. The only difference taking your route is you won't know what those opinions are. Why assume a comment will go in a negative direction? Unlike PM'ing, a public post can create a dialog that not only involves one writer and one reader. "Finding one's voice" does not need to bee a solitary journey. Now isn't that much better than hiding the diary? Iwo [img src=" ![]() martycasey.org/emoticons/hugs.gif"] [/IMG] [img src=" ![]() martycasey.org/emoticons/cheers.gif"][/IMG] [/quote] Iwo - I am quite certain that people have not misinterpreted your post. Your message was very clear. [/quote] Boston - I'm sorry I don't get your point, your massage is not clear. |
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Post by jillywilly65 on Oct 15, 2008 20:20:27 GMT -5
Well because of inflation I am having to ask for an increase in my opinion wage... I propose we up the two cents worth and increase it to two quarters?!  Anywayyyyyy I will say this as simply as I can. This poetry thread is and has been for me a place to come and escape and get away from all the stress and life's necessities, and let some fun creativity out and use my"right" brain. I am not interested AT ALL in being critiqued. I have had my creativity stifled for quite some time and coming to this thread has helped me find some of it again. Even if it has been mostly silly and lighthearted. I think that Nancy is correct and insightful when she mentions the possibility of a second thread . And if and when I want a critique I would go to a professional writer or English Prof. and ask them privately to whip out the ol "red pen" if you will. Not to say that others in the thread don't have valid insights, I have asked Blue/Shelly and Steph privately before if I should post something and it was their encouragement that helped me . I think there is some difference in poems being shared than a music recital. In a music recital many students are playing the same piece and then I Totally see the benefit of insight or feedback to help them perfect their musicianship. But with writing an original piece it much more vulnerable.And the original pieces come along later when the pianist is more experienced. Correct me if I am wrong it's been some time since I had Piano..25 yrs..yikes! Anyway I think the second thread would be the best bet. Forgive me for rambling. love to all, Jill |
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IWOmusic
18 and over
pianissimo
Charter Member Since Sep 2005
Posts: 2,045
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Post by IWOmusic on Oct 15, 2008 20:36:44 GMT -5
I would like to propose a solution to this situation. I suggest that there be one thread for people to share their writing as is, without fear of criticism, and another thread for people to post works that they want to have critiqued. Not everyone wants every work critiqued, and not all works were intended to be "works of art" subject to criticism, but are simply expressions of a person's feelings at that time. Perhaps those who wish to critique works should post their own works, and also give us all some idea of what their own writing experience and critiquing qualifications are. Speaking strictly for myself, I would find a critique of my writing from a professional writer or language arts teacher more meaningful than a critique from someone just based on their own personal opinion. I've been considering posting some of my poetry here, so I find this discussion very interesting. Possibly requiring a curriculum vitae before making observations would be heavy handed...and not even necessary. Some excellent observations/critiques/constructive criticisms of my music compositions have come from people without advanced music training. As with music, writing has (or should have) an audience. While I wouldn't expect insightful comments on my interpretation of Prokofiev from just anyone ... I don't see why I couldn't for my variation on Clouds Of course this does not excuse rudeness publicly or in PM's. ~   |
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 15, 2008 20:46:26 GMT -5
Alright... I think that we have gone as far with this as we need to.
As suggested by Nancy...I started a second thread called 'The Stage Door (Poetry For Critique)'. Anyone that would like to share their works there are more than free to do that.
I say that we move on (before this starts getting personal)... we are all friends here and I for one have had enough of this discussion.
A second thread is started... and that really should be the end to this. Posting on will do no more good, than kicking a bee hive to get honey. Hum... I am no expert but I am sure that isn't a good thing...LOL
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Post by cgs2007 on Oct 15, 2008 20:54:07 GMT -5
ha ha i dont think so either.... im not particularly fond of bees.... lol
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 15, 2008 21:07:24 GMT -5
I have been stung twice... it hurts and can leave a small scar. Not pretty at all. They make great honey, but nature designed those little suckers to do some damage...LOL The one on the Honey Nut Cheerio commercial looks so innocent too... beware...LOL
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Post by cgs2007 on Oct 15, 2008 21:13:11 GMT -5
ha ha i know! i love honey nut cheerios.... i also hate fire ants..... oh man when i was little i stepping in a hige pile of them at my grandmas house in texas... thank god i didnt get bite cause my mom and grandma threw me in the dog pool to get them off. they got bite though... but hey they saved my legs... and probably my life since i was like 3 and i had about 500 on me and they keep biting you after the bite you once
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Post by jillywilly65 on Oct 15, 2008 21:44:10 GMT -5
Well I apologize if I came across as rude. I tried not to be. I am a lover not a fighter  I am glad for the New Thread created by todays dialogue. I look forward to what it produces. Best of luck to all.. Jilly~ |
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 16, 2008 0:00:56 GMT -5
Let's get this place back on track...
I am posting the one from my Myspace page. I didn't post this one before on this thread.
The piece is a story of sorts. It is about one person that waited a bit too long to say all the things that they wanted to say to his/her friends and loved one's. Now in passing he/she is questioning if what they did in life made any difference to anyone.
Tell Me Please...
Tell me,
That you will remember me.
Even,
If just for a moment.
I need to hear it.
I have to listen to those words being told to me out loud.
I am,
So freaking lost...
Nothing makes any sense anymore.
Scared...
Terrified...
All these endless emotions are running through me,
And all I want to do is live.
Live again...
I want to live again...
So, lost.
So, very... very lost.
I cannot move on,
Without knowing this.
Oh, how I wish I did so much more.
Just that life had a way of moving on,
With no regard to my personal schedule.
Meetings...
Reports...
One thing after another...
Then one day,
It was all much too late.
One day,
It was over.
I was over.
Gone... forever.
Tell me,
That you remember me.
Please...
I need to know that,
So that I can move on.
I had so much more to say,
But it was all taken away from me.
In a flash,
And I was gone.
Somethings need no reasons,
They just change.
I changed in a flash...
Now I am gone.
Tell me... just this once.
If you can hear me at all.
Please say it... tell me.
Tell me that you will remember me,
For so much more than my final score.
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BBE
18 and over
Melvinite
Posts: 1,288
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Post by BBE on Oct 16, 2008 1:37:23 GMT -5
Star--wow, that is powerful! It makes me think of my sisters. How I wish I could tell them one more time how much they mean to me, to talk to them one more time, to hear their voices, and tell them.....what a big difference they made in my life, and how much I miss them, every single day. I keep thinking of things I want to tell each of them, and then I suddenly remember all over again that I can't. The price of love is this awful ache when loss tears loved ones out of your life.  |
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Post by jillywilly65 on Oct 16, 2008 7:03:07 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing that Steph. I also felt that one, close to home.
Too many words left unsaid.
Jilly~
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Post by blueeyz on Oct 16, 2008 10:22:37 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing that one, Steph. It is so sad....but it serves as a reminder in the importance of living your life fully and with love, because none of us know when our time is up.
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 16, 2008 14:05:50 GMT -5
Thank you... {{{Hugs}}} all around.
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Post by blueeyz on Oct 17, 2008 18:11:56 GMT -5
Monsters Under Your Bed
There’s a spring in your step; you believe in second chances.
Everybody makes mistakes, so why dwell on the past?
Some people don’t change? You’re certainly not one of them;
You’ve acquired healthy habits you’re determined to make last.
Despite all these changes, your mind tends to wander;
The lure of the dark side has an unyielding grip;
Exhausting it is to fight off all temptation;
You try and unwind from your rough, daily trip.
How hard it must be for you to fall asleep
When you believe that there are monsters lying under your bed.
You’re afraid to relax
And to let your guard down
For fear they will surface and mess with your head.
Alone, and a freak, you believe yourself to be, but
In their closet…everybody’s got a skeleton or two;
Hindsight’s 20/20, mistakes are clear to us now;
Do you realize how many of us can relate so much to you?
How hard it must be for you to fall asleep
When you believe that there are monsters lying under your bed.
You’re afraid to relax
And to let your guard down
For fear they will surface and mess with your head.
I could hold you.
I could rock you.
Would it really make things better?
I could tell you that I’ve searched under your bed thoroughly
And found nothing scary…nothing that will throw you into the fires
Of hell, making you pay for your sins, eternally.
How hard it must be for you to fall asleep
When you believe that there are monsters lying under your bed.
Close your eyes, and relax
Be bold – let your guard down
And let dreams of hope and promise dance in your head.
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 17, 2008 18:54:54 GMT -5
Interesting piece Blue... I like it. Sometimes it isn't just children that have fears. Even as adults, we too have to face those times when it feels as if monsters wait for us. Those fears always hold us back from reaching our full potential. Yet, if we try... face the fears... we can move on to bigger and brighter days.
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