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Post by starcrossed on Oct 25, 2008 2:55:21 GMT -5
Thank you Blue and you posted a really nice piece yourself.
I have to release the new book and get back on track. My life has been so busy and crazy lately... boy have I been busy. I am finally starting to realize that I am not Supergirl and need to start saying 'No' more often. I keep taking on so many new tasks, and I can't even find a moment to breathe anymore. The only free time that I make is for my son... and that is always my priority and my joy. All the other stuff... well time to let go and start focusing on what matters most.
Sorry... I needed to vent. I am so tired...argh. That is why I am taking today off from everything just to chill out with my son.... I think we could both use some fun.
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Post by grumpypirate on Oct 25, 2008 23:03:56 GMT -5
I'm sending huge hugs your way Star!!!!!!
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Post by grumpypirate on Oct 25, 2008 23:08:26 GMT -5
The Flower
He gave me a flower
And I gave it back.
I thought I'd put those feelings behind me
But now they seem to have come back.
He makes me so angry
Lonely,
Happy,
And Sad.
At times I cry myself to sleep
Because I can't get the thought of him out of my head.
Everyone says we should be together
Yet I deny it and say not in this life.
Why do I deny it?
Why do I say I won't let it happen?
I can't let my heart trust him
Because of all the things I know he's done.
Yet if I can't trust him,
Why does my heart ache for him?
And why doesn't he just leave me alone
If I know that he can't possibly have feelings for me.
He gave me a flower
And I gave it back.
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 26, 2008 2:41:25 GMT -5
I'm sending huge hugs your way Star!!!!!! GP!!!! I missed you young lady. Sending {{{HUGE HUGS}}} your way as well...  Wonderful new piece you posted. Love doesn't make sense sometimes does it? I am 31 years old, and I haven't figured it out for a cup of beans... LOL I admit that I have been given a few flowers that I should have given back. However, at the time I was afraid that no one else would ever offer me anymore than that, and I took what was freely offered in the moment. Moments pass and all too quickly so does life... Still, I have grown up a lot since then (at least in experience), so I decided that I can buy my own stinkin' flowers from now on... LMAO I would rather have the person I want by my side for a lifetime, than a flower that will wither and die in days. |
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Post by grumpypirate on Oct 26, 2008 17:56:09 GMT -5
[/IMG] Wonderful new piece you posted. Love doesn't make sense sometimes does it? I am 31 years old, and I haven't figured it out for a cup of beans... LOL I admit that I have been given a few flowers that I should have given back. However, at the time I was afraid that no one else would ever offer me anymore than that, and I took what was freely offered in the moment. Moments pass and all too quickly so does life... Still, I have grown up a lot since then (at least in experience), so I decided that I can buy my own stinkin' flowers from now on... LMAO I would rather have the person I want by my side for a lifetime, than a flower that will wither and die in days.[/quote]  Ugh I just can't believe I actually gave him the flower back!!! I like the guy yet I don't. It's sooooo complicated. But what's done is done and can't be taken back. Although if I happens again next time it may be a bit harder. Miss you bunches!  |
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 26, 2008 19:11:26 GMT -5
[/IMG] [img src=" ![]() martycasey.org/emoticons/hugs.gif"][/IMG] Ugh I just can't believe I actually gave him the flower back!!! I like the guy yet I don't. It's sooooo complicated. But what's done is done and can't be taken back. Although if I happens again next time it may be a bit harder. Miss you bunches! [/quote] I miss you too young one...LOL And, you know that if you ever need to get a hold of me, you can here or on my myspace page. Ah... you regret not keeping the flower... Look... everyone has to live their life for themselves and learn for themselves, but I can tell you this. If you doubted anything about this guy... for whatever reason, then you have to trust that some part of you knew better. And, just because 'everyone' else says that you should be together doesn't mean that you should. You have to love a person, because YOU love them and accept them unconditionally. That means that you accept not just the various good points of this person, but also the bad things (cuz' no one is perfect). Love is not easy... You just have to have faith in yourself. I am sorry that you feel lost and hurt about this experience... but, you have your whole life ahead of you bright one. I am sure that the right person is out there in the world someplace for you. That doesn't mean that you have to find him now... Now, be your brilliant, talented and amazing self... and never settle for someone or something that doesn't feel right in your life. You deserve better. You know that in your heart and I am sure in that extra special mind of yours. ~Steph |
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Post by grumpypirate on Oct 26, 2008 22:22:24 GMT -5
Thanks Steph for the advice. In a way I regret the flower but in another I don't. I'm working on getting over him, I did it once before, and I'm sure I can do it again. With time and patience I can accomplish anything.  *hugs* |
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 26, 2008 22:50:23 GMT -5
Thanks Steph for the advice. In a way I regret the flower but in another I don't. I'm working on getting over him, I did it once before, and I'm sure I can do it again. With time and patience I can accomplish anything. *hugs* I would never think to doubt you for a second... 'with time and patience' you will accomplish everything. Always have faith and remember who you are meant to be. That person is 'special'  |
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Post by cgs2007 on Oct 27, 2008 16:04:25 GMT -5
wow its been a few days since i have been on here! some good work was posted. great job guys!
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Post by grumpypirate on Oct 27, 2008 18:36:14 GMT -5
Thanks Steph for the advice. In a way I regret the flower but in another I don't. I'm working on getting over him, I did it once before, and I'm sure I can do it again. With time and patience I can accomplish anything. *hugs* I would never think to doubt you for a second... 'with time and patience' you will accomplish everything. Always have faith and remember who you are meant to be. That person is 'special' I can always count on you Steph!!!  Thank you for being such an AWSOME friend! |
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 28, 2008 0:17:48 GMT -5
No need to thank me GP... that's what friends are for. And, yes you can always count on me |
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 29, 2008 0:49:59 GMT -5
I need to stretch... let's try this... I will write one dark poem and then write one light one.
Here is the first...
Beyond These Walls
I am trapped behind these four walls.
No doors,
Nor windows to escape from.
I am a prisoner in my own little world.
Tears run slowly down my pale cheeks,
And I mourn the loss of myself.
There is more life outside this...
Without seeing,
I know this.
Such a beautiful world.
The sun shining brightly,
And clouds passing like traffic in the sky...
Casting shadows on mountains.
I know.
I once was free to roam the Earth,
With no burdens.
Now... I am with wings torn from my flesh.
Who did this to me?
Why have I become this?
I am my own jailer.
Doubt filled my mind,
And I felt fear in who I was.
Building one wall to protect myself,
Was a simple task.
Then I built another...
Until one day I was trapped in my own creation.
This place of safety,
Has all to easily become my Hell.
Walls all around me.
No doors,
Nor windows.
I take a breathe.
I whimper hopelessly in despair.
I wait till I am able to be set free...
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 29, 2008 0:59:20 GMT -5
...And here is something lighter.
Set Free
I am no longer willing to stand here and wait for my hero.
Time tested my strength,
And tried to break me.
Beat me down,
Almost till I could no longer see the truth.
I crumbled too many times,
And became what I most feared...
Darkness.
Living in doubt,
Almost took my life.
Living in doubt,
Was never living.
It took all that I was not to give up.
I fought,
To find my way back into the light of the world.
I wanted to give up...
Yet, here I am.
A lifetime of doubt will no longer led me.
I will led myself.
Overcome all that is set before me.
I shall be all that I have dreamed,
And yearned to rise to.
Letting all that I have known go,
I will be free.
No more fears.
Nothing shall ever stand in my way.
I am moving onward and outward.
Reaching toward all that I desire,
I will have control.
No more chains to hold me back.
I will be finally set free.
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Post by cgs2007 on Oct 29, 2008 21:48:57 GMT -5
wow! both of those poems pretty much sum up my whole life. and it sucks so bad to build walls so high that you lose sight of whats really important cause your so worried that someone will come along and hurt you like you have been hurt before....
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 29, 2008 23:59:59 GMT -5
I agree. I spent many years living in a room with no windows/ doors to escape from, or to let anyone in... It made me feel depressed and so very alone within myself. And, it seemed like no matter how much I wanted to be free, that I couldn't. I had built the walls so well, that it was almost impossible for me to even imagine I had the strength to break them all down. Finally, I managed to do it. I broke down every single wall and just stood there out in the open for the first time in years. God, I was so scared... (somedays I still am). However, life inside walls and fear isn't living. People can be mean... and we can easily be hurt... but, that is part of life. I try to think past all my doubts and fears, to see the bigger picture these days. Life is just too short and we don't know how long each of us has. I just don't want to waste anymore precious time not living. I know not having walls around me, makes me an easy target (even being so open and honest). Still, I don't ever want to fall back into that secluded little world I built so long ago. Am I fearless... no. I am anything but fearless. I am however me. That is all that I know, and I don't want to hide anymore.
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 30, 2008 20:42:26 GMT -5
Shadow
I am but a shadow...
A humble hollow reflection of you.
Perhaps,
To much like you still.
You speak to the world,
Profoundly about silver clouds and beauty.
Yet, have no idea of what true beauty is.
Filled with doubt.
Forgotten what it is too feel the simplest of pleasures that life has to offer.
Instead, you live in a dimension all to yourself.
Alone...
Even while you dwell in the comfort of all those that love you.
Like a lighthouse,
In the middle of a desert.
You serve no purpose,
Not even to yourself.
Rather, you take away from so much.
Hate consumes every hope... every thrill.
You are fading away.
No longer,
Who you dreamed to become.
So, much to loath in the tranquility that you see around you.
You loath it because it is the one thing that you can not find yourself.
I am but a shadow...
Yet I can clearly see the truth.
How strange,
That there is more life within me... than you.
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Post by starcrossed on Oct 31, 2008 21:54:28 GMT -5
I should be able to release my book this coming week... here is another poem from it.
Just Don't Let Me Go
Baby.. baby... don't look away.
I know what it is,
Those words that we have to say.
It's been too long,
That we know.
This is just the start...
Let love show.
If you need me,
Then say you need me...
Just don't let me go.
If you want me,
Then say you want me...
Just don't let me go.
All the love growing between us,
This is more that we both will ever know.
Time flies.
Our hearts cry.
Wasted years.
So much regret,
Tied to all our fears.
How we need to take control.
Guide our passions...
Save our souls.
If you need me,
Then say you need me...
Just don't let me go.
If you want me,
Then say you want me...
Just don't let me go.
No matter how hard we try,
We can not deny that our journey is on the same road.
Two hearts bleeding,
Desperately seeking.
These emotions ride between us,
On a steady flow.
I give up all the tears,
Stand up and wipe away your fears.
To be yours,
And make this whole.
If you need me,
Then say you need me...
Just don't let me go.
If you want me,
Then say you want me...
Just don't let me go.
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bostongirl
Welcoming Committee Member 
Hope - the only cure all
Posts: 1,511
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Post by bostongirl on Nov 1, 2008 20:26:14 GMT -5
Steph - well done!!! I really like the emotion in the words and the symetry of this poem. I can't believe that you have another book ready already. Wow!!!
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Post by blueeyz on Nov 1, 2008 21:59:24 GMT -5
Good stuff, Steph!!  And....most impressive that you've got another book on the way. I'll post something soon. I've just been so busy and scattered....life gets like that sometimes. Time to take a few breaths and center myself so the verses will flow.... |
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Post by cgs2007 on Nov 1, 2008 22:51:01 GMT -5
This isnt my own but i wanted to share this with you guys... it has recently helped me through a hard time. and really opened my eyes.... Its called Storm and its one of the songs off of Lifehouses newest album who we are.... it really is a great song. he sings it with very little music. mostly a cappella. so if you can give it a listen or just read the lyrics i think it might have some meaning for you also
so here it is:
How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head
If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface
If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If i'd see you
This darkness would turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I know everything will be alright
I know everything will be alright
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