Post by keysunset on Feb 20, 2009 23:29:46 GMT -5
I have a tradition of reviewing postcards that people have sent me over the course of a year and choosing the most boring ones to write up and award appropriately.
So, hopefully, for your enjoyment, here are my Most Boring Postcards of 2008:
Most Boring Postcards of 2008 Awards!
The Boring Postcard of 2008 Committee met to decide the fate of the postcard submissions for “Most Boring Postcard of 2008.” A formidable task to say the least! The entries were so worthy that two of the committee members nearly fell asleep during the discussion while two others kept asking if the meeting was over yet! However, knowing a decision must be made, discussion pressed forward and the finalists were selected.
Some cards, while not quite the MOST boring, were just so worthy that they deserve mention. Here then are the Honorable Mentions for 2008:
“Looking for Buried Treasure” -
This postcard from Topsail Island, NC, with its photo of mostly water with a very disgruntled toddler in the sand and water in the foreground, made us wonder just what WAS that treasure we were supposed to be looking for, and where …
“Blue Crab Soup” -
This postcard was a recipe. Really? Why go somewhere and document how much fun you had by sending someone who isn’t there a photo and recipe of something they haven’t eaten? As much fun as we had contemplating this question, even better was the recipe itself!
Depending on your interpretation of how it was written, it either called for 2 TEASPOONS seafood or, if you read the instruction as “2 teaspoons seafood seasoning Old Bay,” no seafood at all! As the sender of the card aptly put it, “You’d hate for your Blue Crab soup to be all SEAFOODY!”
“Toronto” –
Some members of the committee were sure that this postcard of Toronto’s city hall was a photo catching the moment when the spaceship silo opened to allow the subterranean alien ships to lift off. We’re sure that this is not often caught on film so it was definitely a postcard worthy photo. However, other members of the committee noted as they rotated the card, it’s possibly a photo of Toronto’s newest tourist attraction – the world’s largest tanning bed!
Again this year, the committee just couldn’t settle on ONE most boring postcard, so here are the three top cards, with their categories, for 2008!
Most Boring Postcard Received From Canada –
This postcard was a rectangular card of the Canadian flag. Not a photo of a proudly waving flag with blue sky and clouds in the background, or flying over some wondrous expanse of Canadian landscape. No. Just the flag design. We rotated the card around hoping that there would be a secret message or hidden picture, but it was not to be. This postcard left us speechless (because we fell asleep). Since the sender of this card no longer has this valuable sleep aid, we award them a lavender sleep pillow and wish them many restful afternoon naps.
Most Boring, or Bizarre, Postcard of a Public Attraction –
This old postcard of Siegfried Reinhardt’s mosaic in the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial in St. Louis, Missouri, combines history, art, and sheer “what in the world is THAT?!” In the background of the card is the three-part mosaic itself. The word “aspiration” can be read on the first panel. The word “strength” can be read on the third panel. However, the word on the middle panel is obscured by a strange whitish apparition rising from a pool in front of the mosaic. Members of the committee visited the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial this summer and cannot remember seeing either this pool or the mosaic. The committee decided that this must be a rare photograph of the ghostly oracle of Jefferson arising from the pool whenever the water is touched to answer questions and provide direction to the inquirer. The committee wondered if the oracle had to be closed because Jefferson got tired of answering questions about how he could write about liberty and freedom while keeping slaves and instead spent his time pouting in the pool. We award the sender of this card a set of swim fins, a snorkel, and a mask so they can go hunting for the oracle of Jefferson.
Most Boring Postcard of a Major City –
This postcard of Omaha, Nebraska, still astounds the committee. The caption of the card reads “Omaha’s Southern Skyline” and if this is the best side of Omaha to put on a card, we can only wonder what treasures the Northern, Eastern, and Western skylines must hold. Although the photo does include the mundane buildings crowding each other for space in the coveted Southern Skyline, it’s not the buildings that initially draw your attention. No, indeed it is the row of spindly trees, and rows of trains on tracks, and rows of shipping trucks all neatly tucked into the foreground and taking up most of real estate of the photo. The committee, after some deliberation, decided that perhaps what is being described here is “Transportation and Entertainment in Omaha’s Southern Skyline.” After all, there are trains to ride, trucks to drive, trees for dangerous climbing, and, should you still need excitement, buildings from which to jump. My, my, we nearly hopped a train to Omaha to experience it all ourselves! So that the sender of this card can continue to relive some the experiences of Omaha’s Southern Skyline, we award them a copy of that classic book of transportation, excitement, and drama – Go, Dog, Go by P.D. Eastman – with it’s classic line describing where the dogs are going in their cars: “To the tree! To the tree!”
The Committee thanks everyone who submitted a postcard for our consideration and amusement. Job well done!
So, hopefully, for your enjoyment, here are my Most Boring Postcards of 2008:
Most Boring Postcards of 2008 Awards!
The Boring Postcard of 2008 Committee met to decide the fate of the postcard submissions for “Most Boring Postcard of 2008.” A formidable task to say the least! The entries were so worthy that two of the committee members nearly fell asleep during the discussion while two others kept asking if the meeting was over yet! However, knowing a decision must be made, discussion pressed forward and the finalists were selected.
Some cards, while not quite the MOST boring, were just so worthy that they deserve mention. Here then are the Honorable Mentions for 2008:
“Looking for Buried Treasure” -
This postcard from Topsail Island, NC, with its photo of mostly water with a very disgruntled toddler in the sand and water in the foreground, made us wonder just what WAS that treasure we were supposed to be looking for, and where …
“Blue Crab Soup” -
This postcard was a recipe. Really? Why go somewhere and document how much fun you had by sending someone who isn’t there a photo and recipe of something they haven’t eaten? As much fun as we had contemplating this question, even better was the recipe itself!
Depending on your interpretation of how it was written, it either called for 2 TEASPOONS seafood or, if you read the instruction as “2 teaspoons seafood seasoning Old Bay,” no seafood at all! As the sender of the card aptly put it, “You’d hate for your Blue Crab soup to be all SEAFOODY!”
“Toronto” –
Some members of the committee were sure that this postcard of Toronto’s city hall was a photo catching the moment when the spaceship silo opened to allow the subterranean alien ships to lift off. We’re sure that this is not often caught on film so it was definitely a postcard worthy photo. However, other members of the committee noted as they rotated the card, it’s possibly a photo of Toronto’s newest tourist attraction – the world’s largest tanning bed!
Again this year, the committee just couldn’t settle on ONE most boring postcard, so here are the three top cards, with their categories, for 2008!
Most Boring Postcard Received From Canada –
This postcard was a rectangular card of the Canadian flag. Not a photo of a proudly waving flag with blue sky and clouds in the background, or flying over some wondrous expanse of Canadian landscape. No. Just the flag design. We rotated the card around hoping that there would be a secret message or hidden picture, but it was not to be. This postcard left us speechless (because we fell asleep). Since the sender of this card no longer has this valuable sleep aid, we award them a lavender sleep pillow and wish them many restful afternoon naps.
Most Boring, or Bizarre, Postcard of a Public Attraction –
This old postcard of Siegfried Reinhardt’s mosaic in the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial in St. Louis, Missouri, combines history, art, and sheer “what in the world is THAT?!” In the background of the card is the three-part mosaic itself. The word “aspiration” can be read on the first panel. The word “strength” can be read on the third panel. However, the word on the middle panel is obscured by a strange whitish apparition rising from a pool in front of the mosaic. Members of the committee visited the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial this summer and cannot remember seeing either this pool or the mosaic. The committee decided that this must be a rare photograph of the ghostly oracle of Jefferson arising from the pool whenever the water is touched to answer questions and provide direction to the inquirer. The committee wondered if the oracle had to be closed because Jefferson got tired of answering questions about how he could write about liberty and freedom while keeping slaves and instead spent his time pouting in the pool. We award the sender of this card a set of swim fins, a snorkel, and a mask so they can go hunting for the oracle of Jefferson.
Most Boring Postcard of a Major City –
This postcard of Omaha, Nebraska, still astounds the committee. The caption of the card reads “Omaha’s Southern Skyline” and if this is the best side of Omaha to put on a card, we can only wonder what treasures the Northern, Eastern, and Western skylines must hold. Although the photo does include the mundane buildings crowding each other for space in the coveted Southern Skyline, it’s not the buildings that initially draw your attention. No, indeed it is the row of spindly trees, and rows of trains on tracks, and rows of shipping trucks all neatly tucked into the foreground and taking up most of real estate of the photo. The committee, after some deliberation, decided that perhaps what is being described here is “Transportation and Entertainment in Omaha’s Southern Skyline.” After all, there are trains to ride, trucks to drive, trees for dangerous climbing, and, should you still need excitement, buildings from which to jump. My, my, we nearly hopped a train to Omaha to experience it all ourselves! So that the sender of this card can continue to relive some the experiences of Omaha’s Southern Skyline, we award them a copy of that classic book of transportation, excitement, and drama – Go, Dog, Go by P.D. Eastman – with it’s classic line describing where the dogs are going in their cars: “To the tree! To the tree!”
The Committee thanks everyone who submitted a postcard for our consideration and amusement. Job well done!
