The Asylum Vault

[Ayesa86]

I can see it now...



Billy: HOLY SHIT MARTY!!! LOOKIT THAT!!!
Marty: I don't think I've ever seen Dino move quite that fast before...
Dino: (from off screen) WOOOOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!



Billy: Hey Bobby, why the f**k is Dino climbing the ceiling like that?
Bobby: He ate all Nancy's chocolate...HEY DINO GET OFF THE F**KING CHANDILIER!!!!!!!
Billy: We should get A...
Bobby: Nah, ya think?!

Five minutes later:



*From off screen you hear the sound of a dart gun firing*

Dino: Eeep!



Dino: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Dino slumps in to the ground*



Bobby: Daaaaamn...who knew A was packing heat?

[Ayesa86]

In the Asylum Bar, Fly and Stil were getting extensively drunk(Fly had a fake Canadian ID) when Ayesa stomped in, looking pissed. Fly poured her a virgin cocktail. "What's wrong?"

"The Lounge is closed off for the day." She pushed the virgin cocktail aside, and reached behind the counter for the vodka.

"Oh, Doc's 'sex ed' classes." Fly rolled her eyes.


Ayesa curled her upper lip into a sneer, "I don't know what in the nine hells she expects to accomplish with those things."

Stil looked up, "Gimme a break! You and I both know it's just an excuse to strip the guys!"

Ayesa dug a long straw out of a drawer, "Yeah, but is it REALLY necessary to do it in the f**king lounge?!"


"No kidding. Honestly, I don't think she needs all four of them to teach anatomy." Fly gave her usual smartass grin. "Like they'll learn anything anyway."

"So why aren't you two at the classes?" Stil said with a knowing smirk.

"Pfft. It's a waste of time."

Ayesa scowled deeper and sucked up half the bottle.


As Stil chuckled quietly to himself, Ayesa scowled and reached into her jacket. Seeing this, Stil raised an eyebrow and elbowed Fly in the ribs.

"When the hell did she say she'd be done in there??" Ayesa's voice sounded unusually strained as she fiddled with her straw.


"Two to three hours. I know!" Fly said when Ayesa glared at her. "Just let her dream a little longer."

Ayesa looked down at the counter again, her jaw clenched. The moment she did, Fly punched Stil squarely in the arm and hissed, "Knock it off!"

"Why don't you go out into the garden, Ayesa?" Stil asked, obviously confused.

"It's too cold. And my laptop is in the f**king Lounge!" she spat out.


Shooting Stil one last look, Ayesa finished the last of her vodka and stalked out, taking the empty bottle with her and slamming the door so hard the shelf rattled.

"Damn," Stil muttered, "Someone's a little tense..."

"Shut the f**k up Stil," Fly responded, "It's better for your health."

As she stalked down the hall, she stopped in front of the Lounge door. Narrowing her eyes, she hurled the bottle at it with all her strength and watched as it shattered to the ground. As she kept walking, she muttered to herself, "Serves them right if they step on the stuff too..."


Fly winced at the sound of breaking glass, but went out of the bar to see Ayesa's retreating back, and the group of Asylum girls gaping at the shattered bottle. Stil stood right behind her, "What in the hell..."

"Stil, don't worry about it." Fly sighed.

"What the heck happened?" DG said to Fly. "Did you break the bottle?"

"Oh, shit no. Ayesa's in a mood." The other raised her chin defiantly. "And I think you're all being a little insensitive to her feelings." Then she walked off down the hall in search of Ayesa.


Sighing, Ayesa cracked open her third bottle of Beam as she sat on the roof of the Asylum. No one that she was aware of knew the way up, and she came up there often to get away from the hustle and bustle of Asylum life among other things. She even had a stash of novels, sketchbooks, and legal pads hidden in a hatch she'd found.

"Dammit," She muttered, "Just 'cause they're like my family doesn't mean they don't piss me the f**k off sometimes..."

She knew these moods were dangerous for someone like her, but she couldn't much help it. She tried to stay out of everyone's business, tried to be pleasent to everyone, but even she needed to just tell everyone to f**k off every so often. Her mother had always said she was a time bomb, and Ayesa assumed it was true. She always bottled up the shit until it exploded like that f**king vodka bottle did on the lounge door.


Fly slid down the wall, shaking sweat out of her eyes. She looked everywhere for A, but still hadn't found her. She tipped her head back, closing her eyes. When he breathing had calmed, she heard a voice above her, "Hey."

She opened her eyes, and saw Doc looming over her. "So did you find her?"

The other shook her head. "Not that I don't already know what's wrong."

"So what's up with her?"

"I think it's none of my business to be telling you what's wrong with her. I think you all need to talk to her about it, not me." She tilted her head. "It's her secret."

"Then why do you know it?"

"Because I asked."


Leaning over the side of the roof, Ayesa looked down on the courtyard below, wondering where the hell everyone was at. Usually by this time of day, the place was alive with movement. She knew everyone's routine on any given day, and she just chalked it up bitterly to Doc's goddamned sex ed class.

Vaguely she wondered if she was being looked for, but she shook the thought off quickly. She wasn't anywhere that she usually was. The lounge, her room, the bar, the basement, the garden, or the shooting range, so they had given up if they had been looking to begin with.

"Whatever," she murmured, wiping a hand over her face and through her hair, "What the f**k ever."


Groaning, Fly got to her feet, and wandered into the kitchen. She opened the door to find Billy making himself a sandwich. "Have you seen Ayesa?" Billy asked. "She didn't come into the basement to give me lunch."

Fly pulled a bag of Goldfish out of the cupboard. "If you could tell me where she was, I'd kiss you," she said, jumping up on the counter.

Billy laughed. "Bobby'd be a little jealous."

"Whatever, he can take it." She leaned against the fridge, thankful for the cool metal against her forehead.

"So why did she throw that vodka bottle earlier?"

"She feels left out. She takes care of all you guys, but doesn't get anyone to call her own."

"Oh."

Fly gave him a stern look. "You have to keep that to yourself, Billy. She's only told me."


After an hour or so, Ayesa had climbed onto the roof by the gardens. This was usually an interesting vantage point, and sure enough, there was plenty going on in the garden.

She saw Nancy and Dino going off toward one end of the garden for whatever reason and Ayesa briefly considered throwing a rock at Dino's head, but decided it wasn't worth possibly hitting Nancy. Sighing, she cracked open another bottle and kept going. She hadn't drunk this much in a long time, and she was surprised at how well she was tolerating it.

"Ah well," she whispered, "At least I'm good at something bizarre."


After Billy left, Fly swung her feet onto the counter and leaned against the fridge. She was near sleep when Bobby came in. "Hey," he said, opening one of the cupboards, and she waved to him. "Why are you sleeping in the Kitchen?"

She shrugged. "Don't have the energy to get to my room."

"Oh. Well, if you need a lift..." He smiled.

"No thanks. I have to go look for Ayesa again. Aren't you supposed to be with DG today?"

"Yeah, I'm getting something to eat. See you later." And he wandered out.

Sighing, Fly hopped off the counter and wound her way into the Garden to look for Ayesa again.


Eventually, Ayesa sat down on the roof directly above her old haunt, the poisonous plant garden. Pulling her coat around her shoulders, she leaned against one of the Asylum's many chimneys and closed her eyes.

"Should be dinner soon." she chuckled to herself, "If they haven't figured out my location by now, the boys are gonna raise the f**king alarm any time now."


Fly wandered into the Lounge an hour later, and collapsed into her couch. "Still no Ayesa?" DG asked, looking worried.

"Hey, when's dinner?" Dino asked, wandering in with Nancy.

"There's Easy Mac in the kitchen. Go nuts," Fly replied.

"Do you want something?"

"A Garden Burger and rice," she replied. "Oh, and a Diet Coke."

DG looked at the dreadlocked girl. "Aren't you worried about A?"

"I've been looking for her all goddamn afternoon. No, not in the least," she said, even though the sarcasm was barely heard through her weariness.


Ayesa awoke to something pulling on her collar. "The f**k?" she murmured groggily.

Sitting up, she saw one of the cockatoos from the garden. Usually she loved birds, but she had no patience with the cockatoos which tried to annoy her at every turn. She glared at the bird, "What the f**k do you want?"

The bird tilted it's head, "Where's Ayesa?" it screeched, "f**king bird, where's Ayesa?"

Ayesa stared at the bird, "I beg your pardon?"


Fly woke to someone shaking her. She looked up to Bobby holding a plate of food in the dark. "What happened?"

"You fell asleep, so everyone left the Lounge and I made you dinner. Here," he replied, setting it down on the table.

"How long have I been out?" She sat up, rubbing her eyes.

"About an hour."

"No Ayesa?"

"No, everyone's looking for her."

"Why not you?"

"Someone had to cook, and they figured you wouldn't yell at me if I woke you up." Then he left, flipping on the light as he went.


"Thanks to my lousy genes, I at least got good nightvision," Ayesa muttered as she shuddered against the cold, "The f**king place is crawling with lizards. Not that I blame them..."

Taking a sip from what must've been her tenth bottle (where the HELL am I getting these?), she briefly considered climbing down and eventually did, choosing to hunker down behind some bushes in the tropical portion of the gardens.


Fly began to eat, then realized she had no Diet Coke. Knowing she couldn't shout loud enough to get Bobby to hear her, she stumbled into the kitchen. He was still in there, making hamburgers.

"You should have shouted if you needed something."

"I'm fine. Why did they all go looking for her?"

"When they realized that something was seriously wrong that even you were worried about it."

She tilted her head. "That's the problem-everyone says they don't think of us as young, but sometimes habits are hard to break."

"Why don't you tell them that?"

"It won't work. No matter how hard you try, I'm still going to be treated like a kid."

"Aren't you?"

"Bobby, don't make this difficult. You know what I mean." And she walked out, Diet Coke in hand.


Sighing, Marty sat down on a bench beside Penny. "This is really f**king bad," he muttered.

Penny glanced up, "What?"

Marty gave her a 'bless your heart' look, "It's really damn cold outside. When Ayesa goes outside in weather like this, her body temperature drops like a f**king stone. If she's outside, this is gonna be difficult."

Penny looked down, "Oh. I didn't know that."

DG stood on a bench, "Okay people, here's the plan: Nancy, you and Billy go check out the garden. Dino, you and Marty take the shooting range. Penny and BG, take the basement. Doc, you take her room, I'll take the lounge."

With that, and a little complaining from doc, they were off.


Bobby and Fly were eating in the Lounge when Ayesa came in, looking cross. Bobby just stared at her, but Fly smiled. "Hey. There's dinner in the kitchen."

"Thanks. Where is everyone?"

"Looking for you." Bobby seemed to have find his voice.

Ayesa shrugged. "Whatever." And left them alone again.

"Shouldn't we have done something?" Bobby asked, looking confused.

"No. If she wants to be found, she will be."

"What if someone asks if we've seen her?"

Almost on cue, DG poked her head in. "Have you guys seen her?"

Fly spoke up. "Yeah, she was just in here. Left as soon as she came, though."

"Any idea where she went?"

Fly shook her head, and through a bite of burger, said, "Didn't say, just stomped out."

"Okay." DG sighed. "Thanks." and she wandered off to look in other places.


Within a few minutes, Ayesa was down in the basement, curled up under the stairs with a bottle of Jack Daniels. Occasionally she heard voices, but little else. Yawning, she grabbed one of Billy's numerous bean bag chairs and, heedless of the dangers of the under-stairs area, she closed her eyes again


One by one, the fellow Asylum dwellers came into the Lounge. None of them had found Ayesa, and within a half hour, almost everyone was back. Finally, when Doc came in with a negative, did they begin to worry.

Suddenly Fly waved for silence. "Hey-I'm sure she's inside somewhere, and she's safe. Why don't we just wait until she shows up tomorrow?"

"But-" Penny started.

"Look, it'll be fine. Give us all a day to relax and think about it. It's been a long week in the Asylum."

Everyone nodded glumly, and began to say their goodnights.


Almost an hour and a half later, Billy trudged up the hall to Fly's room and knocked on the door. "Fly, we have a problem."

Fly stuck her head out, an agitated look on her face, "What Billy?"

Billy looked down, "Er...I think there's something in the basement again."

Fly scowled, "Oh for pete's sake, what makes you say that?!"

Billy looked at Fly with saucer-like eyes, "One of my beanbag chairs is missing."


Groaning, Fly put on her black satin bathrobe and padded down to the basement with Billy. Together they searched all over, and Fly was just about to look in the overcomm room when Billy flagged her. She wandered over to see Ayesa sleeping in the missing chair, a bottle of JDs spilling out from her hand.

"I'll go get Bobby. He can carry her to her room," Fly said, and wandered off.


Looking at the bottle in Ayesa's hands, Billy suddenly realized why they kept finding bottles everywhere. "Damn A," he murmured, "You're going to have on hell of a hangover in the morning."

A few minutes later, as Billy, Bobby, and Fly were carting her to her room, Bobby remarked, "I don't know what the hell she was thinking, but she better have a good explanation for this!"

Raising an eyebrow, Billy looked at Fly, who shook her head. "Whatever you say Bob," he muttered.

When they got her to her room, they somehow managed to pull her shoes off and load her into her hammock. When that was done, the two guys looked at each other as if confused. Fly looked at them, "What's the problem now?"

Bobby flinched, "Er...are we just supposed to leave her like that? I can't imagine sleeping in your street clothes is comfortable."

Narrowing her eyes, Fly whacked both of them over the heads, "Get out of here, she's had a rough day and the LAST thing we need is you two being such...such...GUYS!"

As the guys scattered, Fly shook her head, "Good grief."


Fly looked around for a minute, then calmly took A's fedora off her head. She walked out, only to find Bobby waiting for her. "Yes, Bobby?"

"Shouldn't you at least take her jeans off?"

She pointed her finger imperiously down the hall. "MOVE, boy! Go to bed!"

After he had run away, Fly slumped her shoulders and made her way to her room.

A little while later, Marty came out into the hall, eyes adjusting to the dark, when his foot caught on something and he fell, resisting the urge to call out. Whoever he tripped over did, however, let out a faint moan. "Who is that?"

"Bob."

"Why are you in the hall? Did you get in a fight with the girl you're supposed to be with tonight?"

"No..."

"Then what?"

"I don't remember where I'm supposed to be!"

The end, and goodnight.

[DG]

A's Summoning Photo Part 2

[Ayesa86]

This got me my biggest laugh ever, so it had to vault in here

Here we go:

Double Your Pleasure! Double Your Fun!
With Double Mint Gum Motherf**kers!!

Dino & Bobby Kourelis
Audition Number 75943875349857
Doublemint Twins Commercial

[Ayesa86]

Marty: Wow, what's wrong with Frankie? She's barking like crazy...
Bobby: What's the matter Frankie? C'mon, tell Bobby what's wrong!
Marty: Dude, she's a DOG! She's not gonna talk!
Bobby: What's that? You saw WHAT?! Nancy & Dino did WHAT in front of you?!

[Ayesa86]

Thank you Nancy^^



Billy: "Attention shoppers...Will the owner of the white underwear please come to the front of the stage and claim their property please?"

Dino: Are you nuts man? They obviously didn't want it!

[DG]

Bobby's Secret Attack!

Bobby: C'mon DG...give me some beer...please?
DG: No Bobby. Not right now.


Bobby: Pleeeeeeaaase?!
DG: *thinking* Dammit! Not the puppydog eyes!!!
Bobby: *thinking* Yesss...look at this face! Can you deny that?!
DG: Oh, okay...


Bobby: Yippee!
DG: One condition though...


Bobby: What?
DG: You have to help me look for Billy.


Bobby: Okay^^
DG: *thinking* That worked nicely
Bobby: *thinking* WOOT!!!


By Ayesa86

[Ayesa86]

The Booze Shortage of March 2006
By: GP & A86

Dino: *thinking* One...two...three...whew! All still there....



Dino: *still thinking* One down.....two to go!



Dino just realized this was his last beer.



Dino: I think I need a hug. We’ve run out of beer!



Bobby: Ok who was in charge of getting the beer?



Billy: Wasn't me!!



Ted: Yes it was! It was totally Billy's job!



Bobby: But why Billy...Why would you let us run out of beer?



Billy: But it WASN'T my job!!!



Dino: Then why do you have the booze money Billy?



Billy: Er...I SWEAR I was set up!!!



Marty: Give me a break Billy! Who the HELL would set you up?


Elsewhere...


Ted: Yessss! Not taking the fall for THIS one!!

[DG]

Bobby-Hmmm I think I'll get a beer after this is over
Dino-Dude, that wall is interesting
Marty-Dang, ANOTHER picture
Billy-Ok so the geopolitical ramifications of the Second Civil War in Liberia affected the international community in multiple ways..

[Ayesa86]

Ted's Recollection of the Tour
A Ted-Fic By A86

Of all people, Ted had many strange tales to tell when he got home....so listen children and you will hear.....

Random Neighborhood Kid: Hey Ted!
Ted: That's Mister Ted to you kid.
Kid: Mister Ted! How was the tour???


Ted: Well.....

~FLASHBACK.....~

Bossman: Well, Ted, here they are...the Lovehammers...that's Bobby, Dino, Billy, and Marty...it's your job to take care of them during the tour...


Ted: Well...they look okay...not too dangerous...probably won't try to eat me like the last guy did...


Dino: ooooOOOOOoooo....No one has ever tried to get me to sign THAT!
Marty: Shut it jackass.
Billy & Bobby:


Ted: *Thinking* I'm doomed...maybe if I back away slowly they won't notice me...
Marty: *looks up* Oh! Hullo, you must be Ted!
Ted: *thinking* CURSES!!!

Later on in the tour....


Ted: Dammit! This table is heavy!
Camera: *CLICK*
Ted: THE HELL?! Who just tried to photograph my ass?!
Fangirls:
Ted: *Sigh*


Ted: Okay people...you know the drill...one thing per person...no jumping the rope, the line, OR the Lovehammers...
Person in crowd: GET HIM!!!
Ted: ......shit.....*reaches into jacket for six shooter*


Ted: *looks under table* Good GOD!! I am NOT cleaning that up!!! Dino!!!!!!!!!! Come clean up after your dog!!!
Dino: Oh come on Ted! Frankie loves you^^


Frankie: WOOF!!
Ted:


Ted: AGHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I'VE BEEN KISSED BY A DOG!!!!! GET THE DISINFECTANT!!! GET THE IODINE!!!


Ted: All right. Look guys...I AM NOT cleaning up after you. That's not my job. I'm your tour MANAGER, not tour MOTHER!! Look at me! Dino! Stop giggling and look at me! Do I LOOK like your mother?! NO! So don't expect me to treat you like my kid!! Clean up after yourselves!!!


Dino: I think Ted's flipped his lid...
Bobby: Nah...he just needs to get laid...
Dino: Hmmmm....that gives me an idea...remember that nice chick we met at the Norfolk show?
Bobby: Don't say it Dino....


At the end of the tour....


Guys: We'll miss you Ted!! Keep in touch! Don't be a stranger man!!


Ted: Yeah...I'll miss you guys too...


Ted: *thinking* YESSSSS!!! Freedom!!!

~END FLASHBACK.....~

Ted: Yeah...it was...interesting...
Kid: ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzz....
Ted: grrrrrr....

[DG]

Disclaimer:

Nancy was trying to get me to say that Dino is the hottest guy ever and that seeing the following pictures caused me to have difficulty breathing...

This is Nancy's story

OC: Why did you take the O2 away from me


Nancy: Cause Deeeee Geeeee won't say it....



Fly: I'll say it, give me the O2



RF: Says she not going to do no more pictures other than Dino for the rest of her life if DG doesn't say it!



Ok....

DG: I find Dino VERY sexy witty gorgeous above all other GreeK God of Rock N Roll Bass Playing Lovehammer he's good and He knows it Don't mess with Nancy about me Mr. Dino Kourelis.........

[DG]

If there ever was any doubt that guilt was my number 1 motivator then this should put it to rest. It's not that I find Dino unattractive by any means.. I'm just not this kind of girl.

ndavis021410 said:

Ok, DG, I want to hear something nice......

Pills are kicking in, and I don't want to miss my only damn time to get some rest.....so, am I making you feel guilty now?.........

Not going to rest until I hear ya say it!........

Forgive me for what I am about to do..


Oh my gosh.. when I look at this picture I can't breathe.. at all...pass the O2 please..
My mouth is totally dry..

This is the hottest picture of a bass player that I have ever seen.. Literally, My heart stopped.

Dino is quite attractive...

[Ayesa86]

By FLY



Billy: Yo Marty! What's up with the bulldozer?
Marty: It's for fangirls who get too deep in the dirt.
Billy: Wow, I didn't even know they made them that size...

[DG]

So Nancy has been horrible to me all week. BG and I wrote this.. (The good part is BG's.. the crap is mine)


Dino-Nancy is being so mean to you. Can I come stay with you til she's nice again?
DG-I suppose..

DG-But Dino.. you'll have to sleep in the closet.. I'm not letting you mess up my house... Frankie can stay wherever he wants..

Dino- DG why are you so uptight about me messin up the house? I'll be good.
Mean while....DG is away at work...

Dude, she'll never even notice.

Bobby- I don't know she's pretty sharp.

Marty- We can clean up... she'll never suspect a thing.
Marty- Dude look what I found under DG's bed!

Bobby- No No No!!! What were you doing in her room! She's gonna kill you.

Marty- That's where we set up the keg.

Marty- Gotta go Dino, ummm... don't go in DG's room okay. See ya!


DG-Dino!! What the heck did you do to my house?

Dino-Well Frankie got loose..
DG-And drank more beer than Fangirls do on Fridays?

Dino-Truth is.. It was all Nancy's fault..
DG-Isn't everything.

[DG]

Written By Nancy



Dino: Nancy, you and your A are the best fangirls a guy could ever ask for in the world!



Marty: I just wish my girls were as faithful and adoring as they were:



Bobby: I know man, Dino gets all the good shit all the time. The looks, the money, the energy, the love of all his fangirls, it gets old sometimes. But at least I have some of his DNA in me.....that's cool:



Billy: Dudes, don't be messing with Dino's girls, haven't you learned the millions and millions of lessons that they dish out.



Dino: I know I know man, I'm just one lucking damn man, what can I say. I love My Nancy and My A, and no one, not even that DG gal better mess with em.....



hahahahhahhhhhaaaaa DEeeeee Geeeeeeeeee

[DG]

This is by BG.. A cheer DG up story..

White Sox Game April 2006


Bobby: I like this drum!
Sings: Come mister tally man tally me bananas, day lite come and me wanna go home. It's six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch! Day lite come and me wanna go home!

Marty: DUDE! What is wrong with you???!!!!? The song is TREES!

Dino: It's the mustache isn't it? It's blowing your mind, right?

Billy: Crap! Now all I can think of is that stupid movie. What's the name? Beetlejuice? Yeah, Beetlejuice. That song is from Beetlejuice.

POOF!!!

Bobby: What the... Not again! Man I hate it when he does that, DG hold me... whimper, whimper...

[Ayesa86]

The Case of the Missing Hammers
By: Fly & Ayesa

Fly stretched across her favorite armchair in her "study," a Time spread accross her lap. For once in a long time, the Asylum was silent, and the girl smiled and quietly blessed whoever mananged that.

All of a sudden, there was the sound of pounding feet coming from the hall. Fly sighed, pulling her CD player out when the intercomm dinged to life. "Asylum inmates are to meet in the Lounge in ten minutes," Penny's voice said.

"The hell does she want now?" The other muttered, throwing the magazine onto a pile and making her way down to the Lounge.

Stalking into the Lounge, Ayesa draped herself over her armchair and began toying with a long, serrated double-edged blade that she produced from inside her jacket. Shooting Penny a look, she stopped long enough to sip her drink.

"What the hell is going on Penny? It was actually pretty calm in here for a few minutes."

Fly popped in a moment later, looking around. "Looks like I'm last." She jumped up to sit on the back of a couch, causing DG and Penny to wince. "This better not be something stupid, Pen."

"Shut the hell up, Fly."

"Hey, are you all right?" DG said, suddenly looking concerned.

Penny sighed, wrung her hands. "I.......lost Marty."


Eyebrows flying up toward her hairline, Ayesa sat bolt upright and began to speak rapidly in a clipped tone.

"You lost him?! What do you mean? You guys got into another fight? Or are you saying you don't know where he is?"

Taking a breath, she swigged the rest of her drink.

"Well, it could have been worse--Fly could have lost Bobby today," Doc said, picking at her nails.

"I don't have Bobby today. He's yours right now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Doc. I've been in my study all morning."

"Dino's gone, too. I figured he just passed out in the garden again," Nancy said, suddenly looking worried.

Ayesa frowned, "Billy didn't come up for breakfast this morning either. Figured he was sleeping in, so I left it by the steps. Hey Shy. You seen Ted around? What about Frankie?"

"No Ted, either," Shy said, looking up from her quilting.

Nancy spoke up again. "Frankie wasn't in bed this morning."

They all looked at each other. "So," Fly said, breaking the silence. "Who wants to tell the nurses we lost the Hammers?"


Ayesa's face fell. "We're f**ked...we are sooooo f**ked..."

She looked sorrowfully at her empty glass, "I need a drink..."

Doc thought for a minute and then looked up, "They don't need to know we lost them...we just have to find them right?"

Fly handed Ayesa a bottle from her bag. "That's an idea. Okay, let's do this in an organized fashion, shall we?"

DG jumped up. "Here, let's split into teams. When you find a missing person, bring them back here. Once we have all of them, use the intercomm to call another meeting. How's that?"

"Yes!" a chorus came back. Two by two, they left the Lounge.

"I can't f**king believe this..." Ayesa muttered as she walked down the hallway with her partner. Glancing up from the floor, she sighed, "Which one are we looking for again?"

This better not be some sick joke. she though to herself, Or there'll be hell to pay...

"How in the bloody hell did I get stuck with you, Pen?" Fly said as they walked away from the Lounge.

"Oh, piss off. You love me, and DG said so."

"True to both of those. Hold up-let's get food before we go looking." Fly went into the kitchen while Penny waited. "Hey, Pen, come here."

Penny walked in. "Did you find a Hammer?"

"No, but Ted was here. He alphabetized our chocolate cupboard."

"Oh, no. That was me. I was bored last night."

Fly blinked once, then shook her head. "Whatever. Grab the Goldfish and let's go."


Ayesa sighed, "So you think Dino is in the basement? Why the hell would he be there?"

Nancy shrugged, "He said something about doing something with Billy the other day."

"But I though we had decided that Billy wasn't there."

Nancy folded her arms, "We're going to check ANYWAY."

Grimacing, Ayesa threw her hands up, "Fine! Have it your way Nancy. We'll check the damn basement. But then we're going up to my room."

Nancy blinked, "Your room....Why?"

Ayesa shrugged, "I have to get something."

DG and Doc walked up the manservant's quarters. "I'm telling you, the boys won't be up here!" DG said.

"Bobby befriended our poolboy, he might be up here."

"You just want to look at the poolboy."

"DeeeGeee, you don't give me any credit at all."

"I guess so. Who wants the poolboy when Bobby's around?"

Their poolboy ran out in front of them, wiping his tears as he raced down the stairs.

"Bless my heart," DG said.

BG sighed, "So Shy, how is it you think it'll be so easy to find Ted?"

Shy shrugged, "Just look for spots in the Asylum that are unusually organized. It's a sure sign that he was there."

BG raised an eyebrow, "Ted Tracks?"

Just as Penny and Fly stepped into the garden, they heard a shout, "FLY! PENNY!"

They both looked, and saw Billy running toward them, looking nervous, with Jeremy right on his heels.

"Hey, where have you been? All the guys are gone!" Penny said.

"You two look like shit," Fly added, looking at their torn, flithy clothes. "Tell us on the way-we have to get you to the Lounge."

Tucking a large handgun into a holster strapped to the inside of the jacket, Ayesa looked at Nancy, "No luck, huh?"

Nancy shook her head, "Not a thing..."

Ayesa sighed, "In that case, I advise that we go to the Lounge for a drink, to calm our nerves."

Nancy nodded, "Okay..."

Then they heard a weird scratching at the door, and looking at each other, they pulled the door open to reveal Frankie staring up at them and barking excitedly.

Laughing, Nancy scooped Frankie up into her arms and Ayesa shook her head, "C'mon Frankie...we've gotta get you to the Lounge."

Doc and DG had just finished looking through all the manservant's rooms(Doc had insisted) when the intercomm went off again. "All are to report to the Asylum ASAP." Fly voice sounded tight and strained.

"Did they find them all?" DG wondered aloud as she and Doc walked back down the stairs at a clipped pace.

Sitting in her armchair again, Ayesa turned a level gaze on Fly, Penny, Billy, Jeremy, Nancy, and Frankie each in turn.

"Will someone tell me what's going on?"

"Billy, would you like to explain?" Penny said, her voice like ice.

"Ted...jumped the fence."

They all looked at each other, then began to laugh. "Ted?" Shy asked, choking on her laughter.

"It gets worse. Marty and Dino went after him."

The Lounge went silent.

The silence was broken by the sound of Ayesa's glass shattering on the floor.

"Ted...jumped the fence?" she said quietly, "Are you serious? And the others went after him?"

She got up and began pacing the room restlessly, "Then why are you two still here? And Frankie? I would hardly expect that Dino would leave Frankie behind...and where in the nine hells is Bobby?"

"We tried to tell them to stay inside, but they wouldn't hear of it. Dunno why caused Ted to flip. He was ranting about something, then just ran out to the garden and jumped. We tried to hold him back, but he got loose." Jeremy explained breathlessly.

"Still doesn't explain where Bobby is."

The door opened again, and Bobby wandered in, whistling. "Hi! Are we having a party?"

"The hell have you been?" Fly half shouted at him, and he cringed.

"In the library...reading..." he said, looking at her nervously.

"Why? Oh Bobby, bless your heart."

"Ted told me to."

At this, Ayesa narrowed her eyes, "Why that--" she clenched her jaw but wouldn't say anything else.

Stopping her pacing, she stalked out of the Lounge, coat-tails flying out behind her. As she stalked down the hall, she brushed by Smoochy, Nancy's daughter, who hadn't heard the announcement.

Blinking, Smoochy looked at Ayesa, "Where're you going in such a hurry?"

Glowering, Ayesa snapped, "Outside!"

Fly sighed, and collapsed into a chair. "Guess we just have to wait then, eh?"

"What's going on? Fly, there's no party?" Bobby said.

"No, Ted, Marty and Dino all jumped the fence and are out there...somewhere."

"Oh...that's why he wanted me to leave him alone."

"I wonder where Ayesa went off to," DGsaid, worried.

"I'll follow her," Doc replied, and left the Lounge.

Pacing the length of the fence, Ayesa narrowed her eyes against the harsh glare of the sun on the metal fence.

Finally, she found where the three had gone over when she spotted a shred of black fabric from Ted's jacket.

"He must've hit a snag without realizing it," she muttered.

Gritting her teeth, she placed her hands on the fence and began to climb.

Before Ayesa reached the top, she felt someone grab her leg. "The f**k do you think you're doing, woman?" Doc snarled, tugging on the other's leg.

"Bugger off, Doc. How else are we going to find the boys?"

"Um, don't you have D's cell number."

Ayesa blinked for a minute, then hopped down. "Bless my heart." And began to dial.

As the phone rang on the other end, Ayesa slid down the fence and sat on the ground, "C'mon Dino..." she muttered, "Pick up the goddamn phone..."

Finally someone picked up. "Yo!" Dino's voice answered on the other end.

"Dino..." Ayesa tried to remain calm over the phone, "What the hell is going on? Whether you guys come back or not is your business, but I do think you owe me at least an explanation."

Fly retired back into her study, and picked up her magazine when someone knocked. "For the love of..." She marched over and opened the door.

"Can I come in?" Bobby asked, looking a little lost.

"No, Bobby, you can't. I'm busy. Go find Doc."

"I don't know where she is..."

"She's probably in the garden with Ayesa."

He pouted. "Oh, don't give me that look. Go on." She shut the door, shaking her head.


"Let me get this straight...you and Marty are in a bar, but have no clue where Ted is?"

Dino's voice crackled through the reciever, "Yup. We lost him a while back." There was a pause, "We DO intend to come back...you should've figured that when we left Frankie."

Ayesa glowered, "Agh...now we have to at least find out where Ted is..."

Doc glanced up, "Don't you have Ted's number too A?"

Sighing irritably, Ayesa said, "Hey Dino, one more thing."

"What?"

"Next time you guys jump the fence, take me with you." And then she hung up.

Ayesa knocked on Fly's study door. "No, Bobby, you still can't come in."

"It's me."

".........Come in."

Ayesa opened the door, shutting in behind her. "Dino and Marty are at a bar, and have no idea where Ted is."

Fly covered her face with her hands. "Men. Pfft. Are they coming back?"

"In a bit. They said people were buying them drinks left and right, so another couple hours."

"So, where do we find Ted?"

"Didn't Bobby say something about talking to Ted right before he left?"

Fly sighed. "And I just told him to go away."

"Goddammit Fly," Ayesa shot Fly a look, "Now what are we going to do? 'I'm sorry Fly was mean to you Bobby, now can you give us vital information?' AGH!"

As they approached Bobby's door, Ayesa stopped short, "You want to knock?"

Fly groaned. "All right." She knocked. "Bobby, can we come in? It's Fly and Ayesa."

He opened the door. "I dunno. I'm busy."

"We just want to know what you and Ted were talking about this morning," Fly said softly.

"Oh, now you want to talk." Bobby crossed his arms.

Fly looked at Ayesa. "Please Bobby?" Ayesa said.

"No."

"I'll give you booze out of the Fangirl liquor cabinet," Fly added, pulling the key out of her pocket.

His eyes lit up. "Well, okay."

Ayesa raised her eyebrows, and Fly leaned in. "Works better than Klondikes," she whispered when Bobby's back was turned.


Ayesa sighed and sat down on a nearby cushion, "Bobby. You know I wouldn't be up here if it wasn't really important. You were the last person to talk to Ted, and we need to know where he went."

Bobby, "I thought you said you knew where D and Marty went."

Ayesa sighed again, "I do. Ted's not with them."


As Dino picked up on the other end, Ayesa nearly shouted, "I know where Ted is!"

"Whoa! Keep it down a little!" Dino replied, "So where's he at?"

"Office Depot!"

You could almost hear Dino blinking in confusion, "Office...Depot?"

"Yeah. He's getting organizers."

"No shit?" Dino laughed, "Just wait till Marty hears this!!"

Ayesa sighed, "Look, just go pick him up and get back safely okay?"

"Thanks Bobby, you're a dear." Ayesa and Fly got up to leave.

"Wait, where's my booze?"

"Well, I have to go get it first. Come with me."

Fly and Bobby strolled down to the kitchen. She unlocked the cabinet, then looked around. "Don't let DG or the other boys see this." And passed him a bottle of rum.

"Okay." He stuck it in his pocket and wandered out. Fly jumped up on the counter, snagging an orange from the bowl.

Ayesa pulled up a stool and started slicing into her own orange. "So now what? We just wait?"

"Basically. I don't know what Ted was thinking. I mean, how is he going to get back over the fence with all those supplies?"

"How are Marty and Dino going to get back over wasted?"

"Hey, that might be fun to watch. Wanna come with?" She jumped off the counter.


Following Fly into the gardens, Ayesa frowned, "I hope they don't hurt themselves too bad...it would serve them right if they fell a few time though..."

At that moment, there was a commotion at the fence and Ayesa and Fly walked a little faster.

They skidded to a halt, watching as Dino and Marty shied away from Ted, who was shouting. "You can't climb the fence both at the same time! How much booze did you idiots drink, anyway?"

"Uhhh...." Dino mumbled.

"Can't remember..."

Ted spotted the girls. "Can you help me here? I have fifty pounds of alphabetized tabs, and I can't get them over the fence while climbing."

Fly sighed, and scrambled up the fence.

Chuckling softly to herself, Ayesa followed Fly up and over the fence and took a few tabs from Ted. Looking up and down the fence, Ayesa shrugged and looked at Ted, "Okay. you climb the fence and we'll hand them down to you. Then we'll help these two," she gestured to Dino and Marty, "Get up enough for you to pull them down."

When all the tabs and Marty and Dino were over the fence, Ayesa climbed over. "Well, now everyone's back home, why don't we keep it that way?" She leveled a dark glare at Ted.

"Nancy? Where did Nancy go?" Dino mumbled, then stumbled into the bushes, passing out within moments.

Fly looked him over, then Marty, who was near passing out. "Shall we bring them in?"

"Nah, leave 'em."

Nodding, Ayesa laughed a little and headed up to the Lounge with Fly and Ted.

As they walked down the hall, Ted broke the silence. "How did you know what had happened?"

Ayesa shrugged and looked at Fly, "Billy and Jeremy told us that you guys had jumped the fence."

Making a face, Fly said, "Just wondering, but how come you only had Bobby sitting in the library? Why not all the guys?"

Ted looked at her with an expression nearing pity, "He's too loyal to you, DG, and Doc. He would've ruined everything."

As Fly scowled at him, Ayesa tried to stifle her laughter.

"I prefer affectionate," Fly half-spat.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Ted smiled, a rare sight.

"Why the library, though?"

"So he'd learn some history, dammit."


Still smiling thinly, Ayesa shook her head and opened the doors to the Lounge. Turning back to Ted and Fly, she said, "I don't know about you two, but I could use a drink!"

And then they went inside.

[Ayesa86]

DG’s Top Twenty! (at Nancy’s request)

20. I love that at this highly charged emotional moment that he is on his cell phone

19. I love his sense of humor. (He's such a goofball)

18. His bass playing and dedication to bass playing

17. You know this is coming so.. His brother

16. His endurance

15. His predictable fashion sense..

14. He is rather attractive here..

13. His penmanship

12. His loyalty to his band and the fans

11. His many facial expressions

10. His approachability..

9. Because he's Nancy's sunshine

8. He hasn't yet gotten me kicked off the boards for all the bad things I've said about him.

7. He cares for people and his dog

6. He's really intense when playing his bass. He's very focused.

5. He would never turn his back on a friend in need.

4. He actually reads the message boards..(scary, but cool)

3. He said water was interesting and didn't laugh at Kelley when she talked about bedtimes.

2. You can tell that he loves what he is doing and that he has fun with it.




The number 1 reason Dino is sooo wonderful:

1. Cause Nancy says so.

[DG]

The Best News Ever!

ndavis021410 said:

My phone rings this morning.....

It is my Pretty doc- that by the way is absolutely drop dead gorgeous, but is married....I told him if he ever leaves his wife, to call me- I say hello........

First he tells me to take off my Morphine patch........

I say OK......

Then he says to put my daughter on the phone......I say ok, hold on a minute.......I gets Natasha.....She gets on the phone...And literal buckets and buckets of tears just start to flow down her little face, she puts the phone down and runs to her bedroom....

I gets on the phone....I ask him why he made my baby cry, he said because he told her I'M IN REMISSION..........A couple of weeks ago, I had to stay in St. Louis, ya all know that, and all the test and research showed that my cancer that is still in my colon is INACTIVE, NONACTIVE CANCER CELLS..............I'M IN REMISSION.....So, Pretty doc goes on to tell me that knowing me, I'll live to be 150....I laugh and say only if Dino lives that long would I wanna.......So, that's it guys.....I'M LIVING, I'M GONNA MAKE IT.....I WON the most important battle ever......

And I swear the pain I went through.....7 chemo's 2 surgeries, and having "my family" is what pulled me through....I'm not at all a strong person, until I met you guys, you pulled me through the roughest times ever, and made me laugh, cry, laugh and laugh some more.....I MADE IT...................How can I ever say thank you to people that have saved your life?....Well, I guess I have allot of time to think of the ways huh?.......

oh my.....I'M IN REMISSION...................

[Ayesa86]

Bobby and the Gnomes.
A Tour Tale By Ayesa86

Bobby: AHHHHHH!!!!!!!



Billy: The hell Bob?!



Bobby: Don't you see them Billy?!



Billy: See what Bob?

\

Bobby: The gnomes, Billy! The goddamn gnomes! Don't you see them?! They're going to eat Dino...



Dino: Okay kiddies...watch as I pull a rabbit outta my hat...



Billy:



Bobby: What's so funny?!



Billy: Dude! Those are just kids....



Bobby: Nuh-uh! They're GNOMES!!!



Billy: No...they're definately kids...trust me...I have a couple...



Bobby: I don't believe you...they're gonna eat Dino...



Billy: *sigh* Whatever Bob...

OFFSCREEN:

Dino: HEEELLLLPPPP!!!!

Marty: OMIGOD!! THEY KILLED DINO!!!!