The Asylum Vault

[Ayesa86]

Nancy's Top 10

Ok.....Here's my finale for the Bobby night that I have so enjoyed:

Reasons why everyone should love DeeeeeeeeGeeeeeeeeeee:

10. She snarks cause she loves us.



9. She is the rock of all fangirls



8. DG loves Billy: His Golden power of geetar magic



7. DG loves Marty: His voice makes her spine tingle and her mind have second thoughts:



6. DG loves Dino: The not so unfortunate looking one of the Lovehammers magic:



5. DG loves Bobby: The sexiest Greek God of all Thunder Rock N Roll Drummer Dude of the Lovehammers:



4. She has the power of the punishment PM's



(gonna get shot for that one) Had to go here, just had too....

3. DG loves ALL of us, no matter how silly, stupid, crazy, fun, loving, sick, healthy, sad, happy and nutty we can all be at times:





2. When she leaves us, the tears will fill up the desserts that make this world dry and barren.



And the number one reason the world needs to love DG is:

1. Because I said so:

[Ayesa86]

Bobby: *thinking* Good god...all my booze has been replaced with WATER! It's that damn woman Marty hangs out with! What's her name? Penelope-no...Penocchio-no that's not it either...


Billy: It's Penny.


Bobby: Dude! I didn't say anything? You a mindreader or something?


Billy: Yes. In fact I am.


Bobby: .........


Billy: *thinking* He is TOO easy....and so immature...now where was I? Oh yeah...


Billy: I got your sharpie! I got your sharpie NYAH!

[Ayesa86]

Fly was sitting next to Bobby in the Lounge, opposite Penny, Marty and DG, attempting to play Monopoly. Penny, of course, had insisted on being the banker and kept shafting everyone whenever they passed Go. Billy and Chi were discussing turtle mating rituals while Dino and Nancy discussed side effects of painkillers next to them.

Suddenly, from the kitchen, came the sound of shattering glass. A lot of shattering glass.

At the noise, everyone looked at each other remembering the last time they heard glass break in the Asylum. Getting up, Billy and Dino went and peeked around the corner into the kitchen.

"Goddammit!" Ayesa muttered as yet another bottle fell. "This is such a hassle! Why the hell did this have to be messed with?!" Sighing, she sat down at the table and glared at the liquor cabinet.

Fly pushed the boys aside, "What in God's name..." She stopped dead once she saw the bottles and bottles of booze, all broken and leaking all over the black and white tiles. "Ayesa? What happened to the booze?"

"Yeah, if you wanted the booze gone so badly, A, you could've given it to us," Dino pouted.

"Shut up, D," Fly snapped, her shoulders slumping. "I'll get some towels."

Staring at the tabletop, Ayesa gritted her teeth. She didn't even want to look at Dino, not after that comment. It wasn't until Fly came back in that she looked back up. "It wasn't intentional. I was fixing the cabinet door...someone broke it. Then I noticed several bottles where missing so I was going to check to see what was gone."

She glared at Dino, "And then I heard someone being noisy somewhere in the Asylum and I jumped a little. And the bottles fell."

"Someone broke the cabinet? I think I know who...BOBBY!" Fly handed Ayesa a couple towels, and they began to mop up the spillage until Bobby came in. Fly stood upright, hands on her hips.

"Fly, I told Penny to stop stealing the 500s from the bank, but she won't listen to me..."

"Nevermind Monopoly, did you break the liquor cabinet door?"

Bobby's eyes go huge. "Nuh-uh! I didn't, I swear!"

"He's lying!" Dino called out.

"Shut up, D, I did not!" Bobby said back.

"Will you two SHUT THE HELL UP and stop bickering?" Ayesa snapped from her spot on the floor. "Bobby, if you did it, fess up now, because I am in no mood to deal with any foolishness."

"I don't think Bobby did it, A." Fly got back on the floor to mop up more of the booze. She looked over at the two glowering Kourelis brothers. "Hey, Bobby, there's a new book on Jefferson in the library."

Bobby's eyes lit up, and he wandered off. "What about me, Fly?" Dino said.

"I dunno, help Billy feed the turtles."

Dino pouted. "I never get to do anything fun..." and stormed off.

A and Fly looked at each other and rolled their eyes.


Ayesa glanced at Fly, "I swear, they're just like children sometimes." She shook her head, "Then who the hell did this?" She glanced at her hands and winced, "Shit...alcohol shouldn't get in glass cuts...goddammit..."

Fly looked at A's hands, then at her own, which were surprisingly glass free. "Go see Doc, she'll take care of you. I can finish this."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, go. This is almost done. Then we have to figure out who broke the cabinet in the first place."

Ayesa left in search of the Doc, and Fly sighed, continuing to mop up the mess.

Sighing, Ayesa walked down the hall at a clipped pace, trying to keep the blood from dripping on to the carpet. When she finally reached Doc's door, she looked back down the hallway to see a trail of little red dots leading up to where she stood. "Shit!" she muttered, "This looks pretty bad."

Knocking on the door with her good hand, she paused and then entered Doc's apartment.

Groaning, Fly stood. All the booze and glass was gone, but the kitchen reeked of alcohol. Grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl, Fly made her way to the bathroom, throwing the sopping towels in the laundry chute along the way. Just as she opened the bathroom door, Bobby came out of the library, looking nervous. "Fly!"

"What is it now?"

"Ted's passed out in the library!"

"Oh, for the love of...go find DG and tell her, please? I need to clean up."


Leaving Doc's room, Ayesa scowled and stalked off toward the general direction of the library. She wanted to ask Bobby if Doc was cruel to him too when he was injured. "Stitches my ass!" she muttered, "I know fishing twine when I see it!"

Mumbling, she ran right into DG and Bobby who were also heading in that direction. "Good grief," she muttered, "Library's popular today...Jefferson isn't that interesting..."

Fly scowled, smelling her shirt. Ugh, stupid booze, she thought, and left the bathroom on the way to her room to change. Along the way, she ran into A. "Why are Bobby and DG going to the library?"

"Ted's passed out in there, apparently. Did you get fixed up?"

Ayesa scowled deepened. "Yeah, with fishing twine, that sadistic..."

Fly giggled. "Well, I'm going to change then see what's up with Ted. See you there?"

Nodding, Ayesa watched Fly's retreating back and then went over to the library. Stepping inside, she was immediately struck by the unusual disorder of the place. Usually either her or Ted had kept it organized. Glancing around, she finally spotted Bobby and DG standing around a table near the back.

Striding over there, she pushed past Bobby to get a better look. "Oy," Ayesa raised her eyebrows, "I guess this is where the booze went...he's going to have one hell of a hangover later..." She laughed softly, "Bless his workaholic little heart."

Turning to Bobby, she nodded, "Fly should be here shortly. Get an ice pack from the fridge okay? I have to figure out exactly what happened here. DG, can you stay with me?"

DG nodded, "Sure, but why the hell would you get drunk in the delphi library?!"

Ayesa shrugged, "Whatever turns you on I guess. Ever tried reading drunk? Fun stuff."

Fly meandered in a few minutes later, tying her ponytail up. "Wow...when did the earthquake hit this place?" She spotted Bobby flagging her down, and walked over to see Ted slumped over in a chair, his limbs at odd angles.

"Well, I guess that explains the booze." Fly grabbed Ted by the hair and shook him roughly. "WAKEY WAKEY!"

Ted jumped to life, his eyes snapping open. "The hell? Where the hell am I?" He looked around, confused. "What am I doing in the library?"

"Umm, maybe because you busted the liquor cabinet open and drank half of it before passing out, dumbass."

"Wait-that doesn't make sense, Fly," DG interjected. "I gave Ted a key to the cabinet a long time ago, when he first moved in."

"What?" Bobby and Fly both exclaimed. Bobby added, "Why don't I get one?"

From her perch on the arm of Ted's chair, Ayesa shrugged, "I thought you guys knew about that...and Bobby, we didn't trust you not to...er...overindulge yourself." She looked at Ted and smiled wryly, "We didn't exactly expect this one to get into trouble."

Ted looked up at her, "But I didn't! It wasn't me!"

Sighing Ayesa raised an eyebrow, "Then who would be able to do that?"

"I might know something, but since no one trusts me anyway, I'm not telling." Bobby sat down and folded his arms over his chest.

DG pulled her liquor cabinet key from her pocket. "ONE DAY, Bobby. Tell, and you can have rights to the cabinet for one day, all right?"

"Well...okay, I guess."


Giving Bobby an expectant look, Ayesa shifted her position and tilted her head. "Well? Who do you think it is? If it's not you, and not Ted?"

Ted looked up, "Whisper? Please? Besides, how do you know it was even one of us? Why not one of the other girls? If it's not you, Fly, or DG..."

"What do the girls need to bust into the cabinet for? We all have keys..." Fly caught Bobby's eye. "Sorry dear, go ahead."

"Last night, while I was in the basement, I found Doc's wine under the stairs."

"Yes, and how do you know Doc hadn't passed out there after drinking a little too much?" Ted leaned forward, glaring at Bobby.

"Because, uh, well..." Bobby blushed.

"Ah, I see. That's where you were last night," Fly said.

Raising her eyebrows, Ayesa sighed and shook her head grimly, "No wonder I couldn't sleep...I thought it was just the cicadas again."

Ted tilted his head, "The what??"

Ayesa shook her head, "It's a long story Ted."

DG sat down, a frown etched on her features, "So you think it was...Billy?"

Bobby nodded eagerly, "Yup."

Ayesa put her head in one hand, "Oh dear..."

Fly looked around. "So, who wants to confront Billy?"

They all sat there in silence for several minutes, until Penny and Marty crashed in, giggling. They stopped cold when all five faces turned to them. "What are you two doing?" DG asked.

"Umm, looking for that new Jefferson book..." Marty looked at Penny nervously. "I think we can look for it later."

"It sucks," Bobby said.

"You're so pretty, Bobby," Fly said.

"Umm, thank you?"

Ayesa gritted her teeth, "I tell ya what. Why don't we split up like so: DG & Bobby, find Billy, keep him busy. Fly, you, Ted, & I will go to the basement where Ted & I will collect evidence if you will call a meeting. Sound good?"

"All right, sounds good. Anyone know where Billy might be?" DG looked at the others.

"With the turtles, where else?" Fly hopped off the table. "Get him to the Lounge, could you?"

They agreed, and split off.

Trotting off down the stairs to the basement, Ayesa immediately noticed the smell of stale booze. Stopping, she looked at Fly and Ted, "You guys smell that?"

When she was satisfied that she wasn't hallucinating, she continued into the basement and flipped on a light. "Christ!" she hissed, "How long has this been going on?!" Sighing, she reached into a pocket in her suit jacket and tossed Ted a pair of latex gloves and a bag. "Here, use these. Collect all the bottles you can."

Ted raised an eyebrow, "You always carry stuff like this on your person?"

Giving him a withering glance, Ayesa nodded, "Of course. The basement's a dangerous place."

"Yeah, like the monster in the basement," Fly shuddered.

Once they had collected all the evidence, the three made their way to the Lounge, where DG and Bobby had Billy entranced with a documentary on the Galapagos-so entranced, in fact, that Bobby had hold of both Billy's arms.

Ayesa dumped out all the bottles onto the table. "Well, Billy?"

Billy looked at all the bottles the table. "Damn."


Folding her arms, Ayesa gave Billy a bone-chilling glare, "What the hell were you thinking? If you wanted booze I would've given you some. And if that weren't enough, you framed Ted of all people? Come on Billy! What's up with you?"

Billy looked at the ground, then at the bottles, then back at Ayesa, who scowled, "Don't you give me that look Billy. It will not work."

"I'm sorry...I don't know what I was thinking..." Billy looked at Bob. "Can you let go? That hurts."

Fly nodded, and Bobby let Billy's arms drop. "Billy, please don't do that again, all right?" Fly rubbed her eyes. "Could you please mop the kitchen floor for us? It reeks of booze in there."

"Yes, ma'am." He trudged off to the kitchen.

"Boys." A threw her hands up in the air and stalked out.

"Where are you going, A?" Bobby asked.

"I have to finish fixing the cabinet."

As Ayesa left the room, Fly turned and looked at Ted, "So what were you doing passed out in the library anyway?"

Ted looked sheepish, "Well...for the past few days I've had migraines...and er...sleep loss...so I asked Doc for some medicine...she gave me a pill and something to take it with, so I took it and then went to the library for something to read...and er...that's all I remember."

As the others started laughing, a voice yelled from the kitchen "At least she didn't sew you up with goddamn fishing line!!!"

And somewhere on the other side of the Asylum, Doc sneezed.

[Ayesa86]

The First EVER Penny-Ayesa Fight!

Keysunset: nope I didn't. But then I don't have penny's mental powers...

Penny: But really, who does?
Ayesa: Oh I don't know....an ant?
Penny: Punk.
Ayesa: Trollop.
Penny: Wiseass.
Ayesa: Dumbass.
Penny: Snot.
Ayesa: Chickenshit.
Penny: INXS fan.
Ayesa: ___ Fangirl
Penny: Suzie wannabe.
Ayesa: Brook Burke wannabe.
Penny: Asscake eater.
Ayesa: Dave Navarro Lover!
Penny: *GASP* Now you've gone TOO FAR!
Isa: I thought so too, she punched below the belt.
Ayesa: Gloves were off Pen. Truce Penny?
Penny: Truce, A.
Ayesa: Sounds like a plan.

[Ayesa86]

Hazing Amy:

The Lounge was its usual ruckus when Cindy, the administrator and head doctor, stepping in briskly, and all activity ceased. "We have a new patient-she's being admitted today. I trust you all will give her a warm welcome."

"Of course, Cindy," DG said, making a shushing noise at Fly, Ayesa and Doc, who were giggling behind their hands.

"Where's Amy, Cindy? She usually tells us these things," Penny cut in, looking confused.

"Well..." Cindy looked behind her, and waved in the new patient. Shuffling her feet, Amy stepped in, a faint blush on her cheeks.

DG's eyes went wide for a minute as she considered the implications here. Behind her, Ayesa broke into a short burst of soft laughter. As Doc opened her mouth to say something, the moment was shattered as Marty skidded into the room with Bobby at his heels.

Seeing Amy, he came to an abrupt stop, "Amy? What's going o--ah!"

Behind him, Bobby had continued skidding around on his socks, smacking into Marty and knocking him over, smiling sheepishly, Bobby looked up from the floor and even DG couldn't stifle a chuckle when his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates, "I didn't do it! I swear it was Dino!!!"

Shooting Bobby a look, DG took Amy's arm and sat her down on the couch, "So...what brings you into our midst?"

"Amy's come to stay with us," Cindy said, not even breaking a smile as the two picked themselves up from the floor.

"You mean like an overnight visit?" Bobby's eyes got bright.

"No, Bobby, she's been admitted to the Asylum," Fly offered him the arm of her loveseat.

"What's this about Dino?" DG sighed.

"Well, uh..." Marty looked at Bobby. "You explain, he's your brother."

"Why me?"

"BOBBY!" Fly growled. "Spit it out!"

"Dino says he saw Dave Navarro walking through the halls."

"Dave Navarro?"

Raising an eyebrow, Ayesa shook her head, "I knew there was something going on...half my hair-styling wax was missing this morning..."

She glanced at Amy, "You er, wouldn't know anything about this would you Amy?"

Marty looked at Bobby, "Why do I get the feeling there's gonna be another meeting?"

"Dave...came with me," Amy blushed even more.

"So the PPoD's really here?" Fly giggled.

"You like the PPoD, too?" Amy smiled.

"I love Dave! He's so hot..."

Suddenly, Bobby jumped up from the arm of the couch and stormed out. "Uh oh, this can't be good," Marty muttered.

Sighing, Ayesa got up. "Nice to see you here Amy," she winked, "Knew you'd come around eventually." Then, giving Fly a pitying look, she walked out after Bobby.

As she went down the hall she bumped into Dino and Jeremy. "Hey A," Dino glanced up, "Where ya going?"

Without even pausing, Ayesa called back over her shoulder, "I'm looking for that jealousy-prone brother of yours."

Sighing, Dino looked at Jeremy, "I'd better go help her. How is it that Marty never gets mad over you?"

Jeremy shrugged, "I dunno. Probably doesn't even know about me."

With that, Dino ran off after Ayesa.

Fly stepped out of the Lounge a few minutes after Ayesa, running right into Dino. "Hey, D, bottle of vodka for the whereabouts of Dave."

Dino crossed his arms. "Nuh uh. I'm not crossing Bobby for booze." And he walked off, despite Fly shouting after "I just want a peek at him!"

Damn brotherly love, she thought, and went in search of the other Kourelis.

In the library, Ayesa faced Dino, Jeremy, Billy, and Ted, who were scattered about the room in various chairs.

"Okay Ayesa," Ted crossed his arms, "Why do you have us here?"

Ayesa sighed, "I'm sure Dino has told you by now of our invasion by one Dave Navarro?" When the four nodded in unison, she continued, "Well as you've noticed, Bobby is missing. He was last seen storming off in a jealous rage after Fly admitted to finding Dave hot."

Billy raised an eyebrow, "And what does that have to do with us?"

Dino glanced over at his bandmate, "We have to help find him."

Jeremy raised his hand, "Shouldn't Fly help? It was her fault. And shouldn't Marty be in on this? And do ya think Bob's gonna try and kill Dave like Marty did that one time?"

At this last question, there was dead silence in the room as the five looked at each other in subdued terror.

Finally Ayesa broke the silence, "Shit. We have to find him."

Fly banged on Bobby's door. "Bobby? Bobby, I know you're in there. Come on out, I want to take a walk in the garden."

"Why don't you ask Dave?" Came a muffled voice from the other side of the door.

"He's playing air hockey with Amy in the arcade. Why would I ask him anyway?"

"I dunno, maybe because he's hot."

"You big baby." And Fly stomped off, snarling.

Sighing, Ayesa pulled a marker out of one pocker and wrote on teh dry-erase board, "Okay guys, we're going to check out the following locations for either Bobby, Fly, or Dave. We'll group off, and look at the Arcade, the Bar, the Gardens, and one of you could pair off with me and check the rooms. Okay?"

Ted sighed, "I'll go to the arcade, the others will get sidetracked there. Billy needs to feed the turtles anyway, so he should check the gardens."

Jeremy raised his hand, "I'll take the Bar!"

At this, Dino sighed, "Can I go with Jeremy? I don't want Bob to kill me..."

Shrugging Ayesa nodded, "Sure."

Fly snuggled up the brick wall, opening her book with a sigh. Just as Kurt Cobain met Courtney Love, a voice called out, "Fly!" She looked up to see Billy walking her way, waving.

"Yes? Is there a meeting?" She closed her book.

"No, we're just looking for you to see if you know where Bobby is."

She snarled. "That bastard's in his room. And he can stay there for all I care." She flipped open her book again.

"Something wrong with you and him?"

"Just because I appreciate other men doesn't mean he should get all bent because of it." She rolled her eyes. "Idiot. I'm not going to touch Dave if he's Amy's."

"Well, why don't you tell Bob that?"

Meanwhile, Ayesa knocked on Bobby's door.

"Go away Fly! Go play with Dave!"

Ayesa sighed, "Bobby, it's me, Ayesa. Let me in."

There was a short silence and then, "Are you alone?"

"Yes. The others are off looking for you."

Suddenly, the door swung open and Bobby pulled her inside, shutting the door, "Okay, what?"

Sitting on a nearby desk, Ayesa shot Bobby a look, "Why are you such a jealous brat?"

Bobby glared, "Are you kidding me?! Fly was TOTALLY hitting on Dave!"

Ayesa narrowed her eyes, "Have a little respect Bob. Dave is Amy's. Why do you have such a problem when she appreciates other men? You don't have a problem when I do it."

"But you're like, not attached, ya know...and Fly is!"

She frowned, "I know that, but that's not the point. Look, just talk to her man! I can't help you otherwise, so for the love of all that's sharp and shiny, just grow some and talk to her dammit!"

With that, she stalked out.

Fly shrugged. "You think he wouldn't take it so personally. He deals when I'm drooling over Johnny or Oded or Owen."

"Well, I don't think he's used to competing with someone in the flesh for your attention."

"Well, maybe he would have figured out by now that I'm a one man girl. Stupid bastard. Besides," Fly smirked. "Dave's not my type anyway, and Amy can have him. What pisses me off is Bobby knew about my crush on Dave before, so what's his deal now?"

Billy opened his mouth, but she waved him off. "Yeah, I know. But I'm not going to apologize to him until he apologizes first."

"Fly..."

She crossed her arms. "Yes?"

"Oh, nothing." Billy walked off.

On her way from Bobby's room, Ayesa ran into Ted and Dino--Dino was leaning heavily on Ted's shoulder. "A," Ted huffed, "Apparently Jeremy and Dino got carried away 'investigating' in the Bar."

Ignoring them, she brushed past them and kept going toward the garden. "A!" Dino called, "Ted found Dave in the arcade!"

"Good for him," Ayesa muttered to herself.

Looking at each other, Ted and Dino shrugged.

Fly watched Billy walk away, then picked up her book again just as Doc walked by. "Sugar Baby, what are you doing here alone?"

"I'm trying to read my book, Mama." She shrugged. "I like being alone sometimes."

"No Bobby?"

"Bobby and I had a falling out."

"Ah. Does this mean one less girl on the schedule?"

"Maybe. Depends on if he's going to keep being a jackass."

"I see. Well, enjoy your book." The other wandered off.

"Yeah, one sentence at a time," Fly muttered under her breath.

Ayesa walked into the Garden and quietly sat across from Fly, watching her friend reading her book. Finally, she decided to speak, "Fly. Is this really necessary? Wouldn't it just be easier to just try and talk to Bobby again? Give him another chance. I know he's a selfish bastard sometimes, but he means well, really."

"If he wants to, let him come find me. Jealous of Dave Navarro, for the love of God. What's next, I talked to Dino, so is he going to be jealous of him, too?" Fly shook her head.

"You're being just as stupid as he is, you know that?"

"Yeah, well, at least I didn't start it. Do I get jealous when he's with DG and Doc? He can stuff it if he thinks he's going to get me coming back to him on my hands and knees."

Ayesa narrowed her eyes and rose to her feet, "Fine, don't come to him on your hands and knees, just give the bastard a chance. I can't patch things up all the time, you guys have got to put a little effort in too dammit!"

As she stalked out of the garden, she looked back over her shoulder, "I can't say I blame him so much. I expect I'd feel the same way. I'm going to the library."

As she headed down the corridor, she bumped into Billy and Bobby, but brushed past them without a word.

"Kurt Cobain, eh? He was a cool dude," said another voice, and Fly looked up to see white feathers and what Penny called the Satan facial hair.

"Yes, this is a very interesting book. I love reading it." She offered PPoD the seat Ayesa just vacated.

"What are you doing here all alone?"

"I like being alone some days. And I haven't gotten much alone time today, it seems. Where's Amy?"

"Oh, I wanted to take a tour of this place. She's napping."

"Ah." Just then, from the corner of her eye, the girl spotted Billy and Bobby walking toward her.

"I'm telling you Bob!" Billy shook his head, "You really need to patch things up with Fly."

Bobby scowled, "Why? I'm not the one who started it!"

Billy sighed, "Two reasons: One, you can't rely on Ayesa to solve all your problems for you, and Two, Fly isn't going to come for you. She's a pretty damn independent gal, and I know for a fact that she'd have no qualms about ditching your sorry ass."

Bobby tilted his head, "So what? I need to just talk to her?"

Billy nodded, "Yes! Just talk to her fer chrissakes!" Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the white feathers of Dave's boa. Shit! Clapping his friend on the back, he smiled grimly, "It's not gonna be easy man, but just try okay? I'm going to go find Ayesa."

Bobby nodded, "Yeah..she looked pissed.."

Fly watched Billy walk off, and waved Bobby over, who was visibly scowling at Dave. "What's he doing here?" Bobby snapped.

"Interrupting my book, like everyone else. Now," She leveled a sharp glare at him, "Are you going to stop being a stupid head?"

"A what?"

Fly forced her face into another dark look to keep from laughing. "You heard me."

"Take it back."

"Are you going to knock it off with the jealousy crap?"

Dave looked worried. "I, uh, think I'm going to check up on Amy." And he took off at a sharp clip toward the Asylum.

"You know what?"

Fly lifted her chin in mock defiance. "Yeah, what?"

"I'm going to throw you in the fishpond." Bobby suddenly threw her over his shoulder.

"SHIT! NO, LEMME GO, YOU BIG OAF!"

Billy found Ayesa in the library sulking. "Hey, what's up A? You looked kinda pissed earlier."

Glancing up from her book, Ayesa scowled, "Damn right I'm mad. Do you have any idea how mad this kind of thing makes me? How can they get so bent over something like this? I can't f**king stand it!"

Suddenly, there was a loud splash followed by screaming and yelling. Rushing to the window, Billy looked out and raised his eyebrows, "I er...think they've made up now."

Ayesa shrugged, "Whatever, just one less problem for me to deal with."

Billy sighed, "You don't have to be so cynical about it."

At this, she looked up again, "Trust me. In my position, it pays to be a cynic. So much less disappointment," she put her book down and got up, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the kitchen for ice cream."

Bobby stood over the koi pond, with a firm grip on the struggling girl. "Apologize, or I'm drunking you."

"Truth hurts, doesn't it? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Fly hit the water, and came up sputtering. "I just did my hair, too." Bobby offered his hand, and she took it, then suddenly yanked on him.

"Oh, oh, AHHHH!" His arms flailed wildly for a moment, and he fell in just as the girl climbed up on the bank. He came up after a moment, and held out his hand. "A little help, eh?"

"I just pulled that trick on you, and I'm not the stupid head here."

"I'm gonna..." He started toward her, grinning wickedly.

"Oh shit." Fly took off running toward the house.

Sitting in the kitchen, Ayesa heard Fly come tearing into the house. As the girl came skidding into the room, Ayesa winced watching the water dripping all over the floor and passed her a towel. Taking another sip of her martini, she smiled faintly, "I take it you guys have made up? Or were you trying to drown each other and then get the koi to eat the body? I figure there's a fifty-fifty chance of each."

"He...can't...take a...joke..." the other said, quite breathless. She quickly did a quick pat down of her clothes, but as she shook out her hair, she was grabbed from behind. "Damn it, I just dried off!" She looked up at the manically grinning drummer.

DG wandered in at the moment, humming and lost in her own little world, but stopped short when she saw the two. "YOU'RE DRIPPING WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR! OUT OUT OUT!"

As the two ran out as fast as their legs could carry them, Ayesa shot DG a look, "Thanks. I didn't know how much I could stand it."

DG looked at her quizzically, "The water on the floor?"

Ayesa finished her martini, "Er...yeah, the water." She nodded to DG, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to the library to finish my book."

DG frowned, "You've been reading the same book all week, what is it?"

Ayesa glanced over her shoulder, "'How to Win Friends, and to Influence People.' Why? It's an interesting read." And with that she exited.

[Ayesa86]

VH1 Take 1!


Bobby: *Thinking*Hey Mr. Cameraman...come over here...closer...closer...
Marty: And then I kicked him in the face and grabbed for a nearby bottle...
Dino: America! I may be a f**k-up, but I am proud to announce that I am NOT a crook!
Jeremy: Shut up Marty. You ripped that from a Jackie Chan movie!
Marty: Did NOT! *Swings at Jeremy and falls on his ass*
Cameraman: *Thinking* Who the f**k ARE those maniacs...and why is the tall guy gesturing at me?

[Ayesa86]

VH1 Take 2!


Marty: First stop, Hollywood! Next stop the MOOOOOON!!!!!!
Dino: Marty...my shoulder's getting sore here...
Bobby: Hey pretty lady...yeah you...call me...
Jeremy: *thinking* Wow...they can put that on a billboard legally?!

[Ayesa86]

VH1 Take 3!


Bobby: *thinking* Okay Bob...just smile and pretend there isn't a 6 foot something blonde guy climbing on me...it'll be okay...
Marty: WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dino: *thinking* I'll just squeeze my arm just a little tighter...teach him to use me as a jungle gym...
Jeremy: Man! I wanna climb on Bob and D too!!!

[Ayesa86]

The Lounge was dark for once, even though it was midday. The door was shut and locked, something so unusual even those who had been inmates from day one had never seen. All day, various inmates tried to get in, only to find the door still locked. Finally, they just shook their heads and walked away.

Inside the room, a dark figure stirred and groaned.

"Goddammit!" Ayesa stopped pacing and glared at the door to the Lounge, "I go on one friggin' excursion to visit my friends and I come back to this?!"

Grimacing, she turned and grabbed Ted by the collar, "You know about this, don't you? You're in on this, aren't you Ted?!"

"Actually, I'm just as frustrated as you, Ayesa. My Palm Pilot's in there, and I can't get anything done now," Ted said calmly, tapping his foot.

Just then, DG, Bobby, Fly and Jeremy wandered by. "Do any of you know why the Lounge is locked?"

"Not a clue, A," Fly tilted her head. "Why don't you join us in the garden? We tried to use the intercom to tell everyone, but it's being repaired."

Ayesa scowled. "No, I don't want to go to the f**king garden, I want in the f**king Lounge."

DG sighed, and grabbed the younger girl by the arm and began carting her away from the door. "Come on, we're having a picnic."

A few minutes later, Ayesa sat by the fishpond, stubbornly ignoring DG's entreaties to come eat. A large fish swam up and looked up at her with shiny eyes, mouth gaping. Sighing, she offered it a large piece of bread that she had in her pocket.

Suddenly, someone stuck a plate of food in front of Ayesa, and she looked up to see a scowling Doc. "You may not want to mingle, but you shouldn't go hungry because of it." And the other walked off again to her place between Fly and Nancy. A caught the dreadlocked girl's eye, who rolled hers and shrugged, then continued to tease Jeremy about his emo-kid hair.

Glaring at her plate, Ayesa picked at her food and ate a little, if only to appease Doc a bit. Feeding the rest of the food to the fish, she got up and headed off to the kitchen, her hand fingering the small key in her jacket pocket. Dammit... she thought, if I'm going to be shut out of the lounge I might as well have something to drink...

Fly watched A storm away, but only sighed a little, hoping no one would notice. But of course, Doc immediately turned around from arguing with Nancy to face her. "What's wrong? Are you sick?"

"No, it's nothing. Never mind."

"Fine, be that way."

The girl let out an exasperated sigh. "Whatever. I'm out of here." She jumped from her chair and stomped off to her study, pausing only to write "Piss off!" on a sheet of paper to stick on the door.

Sitting on the table, Ayesa tossed another bottle over her shoulder into the trashcan. Whistling, she picked up a pen and scrawled a hasty note on a sheet of paper before sliding it under the Lounge door.

Meanwhile, back at the picnic, Jeremy gave Dino a bewildered look, "Are Ayesa and Fly always this moody?"

Dino shrugged. "Ayesa, usually. She's kind of a grouch about stuff like this. Fly, only sometimes. She's usually too busy flirting with Bobby to be a grouch, but she's got a cruel streak."

"Ah, I see. Maybe I should go talk to them."

Dave looked up from talking with Amy. "I wouldn't suggest trying to get into Fly's study." He shuddered.

Marty pulled Jeremy back down. "Leave them alone. They'll get over it eventually."

Sighing, Ayesa went back to the garden and sat down near the picnic and pulled out her sketchbook.

Poking Bobby, Jeremy leaned over, "Now what's she doing?"

Meanwhile, in the lounge, something moved and there was a soft thump.

"She's drawing, what do you think? You're awfully interested in those two, aren't you?"

"Well, uh, you see..." Jeremy blushed.

Bobby's face darkened. "Hey, you stay the hell away from Fly."

Jeremy eyed Bobby nervously. "Yessir."

In her study, Fly's fingers danced across her keyboard, spinning whole worlds with a few clicks of her keys.

Glancing up from her sketchbook, Ayesa frowned, "'Ey Bob, Fly's in her study?"

Raising his eyebrows Bobby nodded, "Yeah...why?"

Shooting him a 'don't ask me that' look, she glanced around the group, "Anyone have a hairpin, or a card? Hell, even a paperclip?"

The group chorused "No" back to Ayesa, who sighed. Looking around, she noticed Jeremy had slipped away. She almost said something, then changed her mind, knowing what a commotion it might cause.

There was a sharp knock on the door that Fly didn't recognize. "Who the f**k is it?" She shouted.

"..................Jeremy. May I come in?"

Groaning inwardly, she saved her document, then stepped lightly to the door and opened it. "Well, come in," she said, waving to him impatiently.

Gritting her teeth, she headed up to Fly's study. Before she knocked on the door she paused when she heard the sound of voices coming from behind the door.

Taking a deep breath, Ayesa rapped softly on the doorframe.

"So what is it with Bobby anyway? He's got more than enough girls."

"He's just very touchy, that's all. I don't know why me, exactly, but-" She heard Ayesa's light rap on the door. Knowing this was going to look bad, Fly braced herself. "Come in, Ayesa."

The other came in just as Jeremy turned around, looking paler than usual.

"Yes, A, what is it?" Fly said smoothly, ignoring Jeremy's open mouth and horrified expression

Walking into the room, Ayesa froze when she saw Jeremy. Growing about five shades paler, she regained her composure enough to look at Fly and reply coolly, "Nevermind. It can wait. I'll be in my office when you're less busy." Then, giving Jeremy a curt nod, she turned on her heel and walked out.

Back in her office, Ayesa put on one of her old Pink Floyd records and began rifling through her file cabinet, muttering to herself.

Jeremy turned back around. "Do you think she'll tell Bobby?"

"If she does, he has to answer to me for anything stupid he does. I doubt she will, though. She's not one to share secrets. She hasn't told Marty about you, now has she?"

"You know about that?"

"My dear boy, everyone knows about that. Now," she said, straightening, "Don't worry about Bobby. If Pen can keep you secret from Marty, I can keep you secret from Bob."

"I don't know if I want to risk it."

"Well, that's your choice. Let me know what you decide. If you'll excuse me, I have to go see what A wants."

Tapping away on her keyboard, Ayesa was disturbed by a knock on her door. Taking a sip of her gin & tonic, she glanced up from the computer monitor, "Who is it?"

A muffled voice from the other side of the door replied, "You wanted to speak to me?"

Twitching one eye, she sighed, "Come in."

Fly stepped in, shutting the door behind her. "You wanted something?"

"Do you have a card or a hairpin or something of the sort?"

"I have a lockpick kit, will that do? What?" The other said to A's raised eyebrows. "I haven't used it for years. I'll go get from my study."

"Is Jeremy still there?" A said with a slight sneer.

"No, he left. He's scared of Bobby, as usual." Fly sighed, then walked out at a sharp clip.

A few minutes later, Ayesa sat outside the Lounge waiting for Fly. Polishing her revolver, she started a little when she heard footsteps coming up behind her. Shit! she thought, Who the hell?! Turning around, she looked up to see Bobby standing in the doorway holding a beer. She sighed, "What do you want Bob?"

He shrugged, "What're you doing?"

Ayesa shot him a look, "It's none of your business, but I'm waiting for Fly. We're busting into the lounge."

Bobby looked at Ayesa for a moment and then: "Was Jeremy in Fly's room?"

At this, Ayesa looked at him for a long time and then sighed, "No. Jeremy went to my office after the picnic."

Bobby's eyes widened, "Why? You and Jeremy aren't?"

Ayesa shook her head, "No, no, no. He just wanted to know why Fly & I are so moody."

Bobby sighed, "Oh okay. See ya later then."

As he left the room, Ayesa sighed and looked out into the hall, "Come on out Fly, I know you're there."

"Thanks for covering for me," Fly whispered, handing A the lockpicks.

"Yeah, you owe me one." Just as A started to walk away, Fly grabbed her arm.

"You know Jeremy thinks you're cute, right?"

"I don't want someone passed around like a bottle of wine at a punk show," Ayesa retorted, then stomped off to open the Lounge.

Fly sighed, shrugged her shoulders, and traipsed to the kitchen.

Muttering to herself, Ayesa tucked her revolver safely back into her jacket and opened up the kit. Frowning she inspected the lock, and chose a tool. Suddenly a thought occurred to her, "Hey Fly! Could you grab me a Coke from the fridge?"

Receiving no immediate response, she shrugged and continued working. Dammit, dammit, dammit...

"What the HELL are you talking about, Bobby?" Fly stood with her hands on her hips.

"I know Jeremy was in your room!"

"So has Marty, Dino, Ted, and Billy! GET OVER IT!" She pushed past him in a huff, clutching a Coke for Ayesa.

Glancing up, Ayesa took the Coke from Fly, "Guess that ought to make us even, seeing as what a lousy f**king job I did." Suddenly, she hissed through her teeth, "Goddammit! Hang on a sec, I cut myself." As she got up, she looked at Fly, "You're welcome to give it a go while I get a band aid out of my office. Oh and here," she tossed her a canister, "give Bob some of this in the face for me. It's a new formula I've been meaning to test out." And then she walked out.

The other sat down, feeling a quick flashback. She began to wiggle the slender pick about when Bobby walked up. "Don't even, Bobby. I'm busy."

"Don't you even-"

"I WILL mace your sorry ass if you f**k with me right now, Bobby," she cut him off, spitting out a curse as the pick slipped.

"Try me."

Fly grabbed the canister and held it up for him to see. "Do you really want me to?"

"Uh, no, I'll be going now."

"Smart man," Fly muttered, going back to her work.

As she headed back to the lounge, Ayesa passed Bobby in the hall, who proceeded to glare at her. Stopping, she grabbed his arm and leaned close. "Shoot me that look again," she hissed, "And see what happens. What happens between you and Fly is your business and hers, but don't take it out on me."

Letting him go, she continued down the hall and stopped in the foyer, "Any luck?" she took a sip of her coke and sighed, "I swear, whoever's in there is going to get it."

"Madam, your Lounge is open." Fly swung the door open. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find Jeremy."

"It'll just piss Bobby off more."

"What he doesn't know can't hurt him. Besides, Jeremy and I are making plans to end hunger in Africa. What did you think we were doing?" Fly wandered off, whistling tunelessly.

Her thin lips twisting into a sneer, she laughed ruefully and walked slowly into the Lounge, her left hand clamped firmly around the handgrip of her revolver. End hunger in Africa my ass! she thought to herself, I'm not as gullible as Nancy or Bob fer chrissakes!

Gritting her teeth, she turned on the overhead light, and began to search the room.

Fly found Jeremy standing at her door. "You've caused me a lot of trouble for nothing, you know." She opened her door, offered him a seat on her loveseat.

"Your idea will never work, you know."

She tossed him a Diet Coke. He frowned at it. "That's all I got." She sat on the loveseat arm right above. "Think about it-how many hundreds of thousands of pounds of wheat we waste a year."

"Yeah, but what about the pot?"

"It doesn't have any nutrients that we know of. I know it's a pipe dream, but it makes sense, right?"

"No f**king respect," she muttered, "All the shit I do, and what do I get in return? Nothing but f**king disrespect...dammit."

Suddenly she saw something out of the corner of her eye, and turning, she saw Frankie crawling out from under the couch. Smiling a little, Ayesa scratched Frankie in between the ears. "All right, who else is in here? I know for a fact you didn't lock the damn door."

Sniffing around the room, Frankie started barking at the TV set. "Oh forget it," Ayesa muttered and pulled out her cell, "I'll call and tell Fly it seems to be clear."

"Yes?" Jeremy's voice came through on Fly's study room.

"Jeremy?" Ayesa sighed inwardly.

"Yeah, Fly stepped out to get something from her room."

"Well, the Lounge is clear. It was just Frankie."

"Okay, we might show up later. We're talking about local venues right now."

"Right...well, I'm going to tell the others." And she hung up before he could answer.

Sighing, Ayesa pocketed her phone and headed out to the garden, where a majority of everyone still was, "Lounge is open. All I saw is Frankie, but be careful."

Heading back upstairs, she knocked on Fly's door, relayed the message and then did the same to Bobby's door before heading to the bar for a drink. For whatever reason, Coke just wasn't doing it for her today.

They all gathered in the Lounge within minutes, even Jeremy and Fly, who were trading stories of punk shows. Bobby glared, but resolutely turned to DG instead.

Without warning, someone scrambled out of underneath DG's chair. "Oh man, what a party," Billy groaned, standing.

"What the f**k, Billy?" Ayesa scowled.

"What? How come you're all right from that wild party last night?"

"You mean that one from three days ago, Billy?" Doc said, smirking.

Ayesa raised an eyebrow and looked around the room, "Party?"

Flipping through his planner, Ted looked up, "I believe you were away on business that day Ayesa. Something about 'taking care of the bastard who--'"

"That's enough Ted," Ayesa snapped, "I get the picture."

Standing up, she cricked her neck, "Well now that that mystery's solved, if you'll excuse me, I'll be heading back to my office if anyone needs me. Otherwise, enjoy the lounge again."

Late that night...

Jeremy looked about furtively, then walked silently through the hall, keeping a sharp eye out.

He reached the door, and, folding his note quickly, slipped it under the door. Then he walked away as fast as he could.

It was another late night as Ayesa started to doze off over her monitor for the umpteenth time. She knew she should get some sleep, even if it was only sleeping on the small leather sofa by her bookcase, which was what she had been doing for the last week or so. Taking a sip of her tea, which was unfortunately cold by then, she started slightly as her hypersensitive ears heard footsteps outside her door that were too light to be distinguished as belonging to anyone.

Suddenly, she heard a faint crinkling noise as a small folded sheet of paper was shoved under her door, followed by the sound of retreating footsteps. Raising an eyebrow, she stood up from her desk and went over to the door to pick up the note.

Sitting back at her desk, she opened up the crumpled paper and began to read the note:

"I know I've caused you and Fly trouble over the last few days, but if you're not busy, I'd like to talk to you in your office at some point, maybe tomorrow? I think Bobby's after me, thought maybe you could arrange me some protection or something.

Later,
The Asylum's resident 'bottle of wine at a punk concert'"

Blinking a few times, Ayesa tilted her head back and laughed softly to herself. "Son of a bitch!" she murmured, "Can't I say anything without people finding out?!"

Sighing, she turned back to her computer and fired off a short, three word e-mail: "Is 5:00PM good?". And then, she was back to work.

The next morning, Fly slipped into the Lounge before anyone else, and popped in "Army of Darkness," thankful for Frankie sleeping in Dino's room. She stretched out across her loveseat, pulling out some knitwork, twisting the yarn about her fingers in a smooth, practiced skill.

Slowly, the others wandered in, some complaining about the movie, but the girl ignored them, and the complainers left, going to make themselves breakfast.

Strolling into the Lounge, Ayesa yawned and glanced at the TV screen, immediately perking up a little, "Nice...good to see something good in the VCR for once."

Heading into the kitchen, she grabbed a drink and went back to the Lounge, where she draped herself over her usual chair. Glancing at Fly's expression, she nodded, "Long night, eh? Bob's still being a jackass?"

"When is he not? At least I don't have to deal with him today-I sent him to go play with Doc." She shook her head. "Didn't stop him from walking into my room unannounced last night to see if Jeremy was there."

As if on cue, Jeremy walked in. "Ash!" and flopped down in front of the television on his stomach.

"I'm just hoping Frankie doesn't come in and start barking," Fly said, giving the other a knowing look.

Raising an eyebrow, Ayesa leaned in and lowered her voice, "He came into your room in the middle of the f**king night?" When Fly nodded, she scowled, "If I had him here, I swear..."

Jeremy looked up at them, "Huh?"

"Nothing Jeremy. Just watch the movie, okay?"

"Okay...if you say so guys."

Ayesa glanced back at Fly, "So, what're you going to do about Bob? This is like Dave all over again..."

"I know, I know. I'm just going to let him deal with it. Jeremy and I are just friends, A."

"I heard my name," Jeremy turned around.

"Yeah, I said you needed to cut your emo-kid hair!"

"You're one to talk, hippie!" He turned around again to watch the movie.

"Well, you and Bobby need to talk this out. You're pissing everyone else off."

"I'll talk to...him," Fly jerked her head in Jeremy's direction, "and we'll work something out. I won't let Bobby tell me who I can and cannot talk to."

Ayesa scowled. "I'll deal with it. Don't worry about it. Bobby will not get away with this one, if he likes keeping me around so much."

Looking at her friend doubtfully, Ayesa nodded, "All right Fly. I believe you, but if you need any help, let me know."

As she got up to go put up her glass in the kitchen, she leaned back to look at Fly, "Oh, and I'd appreciate you not repeating everything I say to just anyone. Be right back, I'm going to eat something."

Fly looked confused for a minute, then looked down at Jeremy. "You dumbass, you were listening at the door, weren't you!?" She kicked him lightly in the leg.

"Ow! You wench! I had to make sure you told her." He rubbed his leg.

"Gah! I'm going to find Bobby now, so he doesn't kill your sorry ass. Though I should let him for eavesdropping!" She strode our, flipping her hair irritably out of her face. Jeremy sighed, then popped in Seven Samurai.

In the kitchen, Ayesa sliced away resolutely at a grapefruit as Dino walked in with Nancy. "Hullo A."

"G'morning," she muttered, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face, "How's it going?"

Nancy beamed, "Great! How're you A?"

Ayesa waved a hand, "Asi, asi. I'm all right I suppose."

Dino looked at her knowingly, "Ayesa, what's going on?"

She shrugged, "Ah, nothing much. Just trying to stay out of the whole thing with Fly & Bob. Plus I've been spending a lot of late nights reorganizing files."

Dino frowned, "Shouldn't Ted be doing that?"

Giving Dino a look, Ayesa rolled her eyes, "I've been doing that before he got here, I'm not quitting now."

At that point, Bob and Marty walked in chatting animatedly.

Fly wandered up the hall toward the basement stairs. She didn't care if Doc didn't like it, she was going to talk to Bob now. As she passed the kitchen, she heard Bobby say, "Doc won't like the fact that you changed the practice time, Marty..."

Pushing her way into the kitchen, Fly faced Bobby, then looked at Marty. "I'm borrowing him for a minute," she declared, then grabbed Bob by the collar and started drug him out of the room before anyone could protest.

As Fly dragged Bobby out of the room, Marty looked at the others with wide eyes, "What the hell was that about?"

Ayesa shook her head, "Don't ask. We could be here all night telling you about this one."

Suddenly, there was a commotion in the Lounge as the sound of barking rang out above the TV. "Goddammit!" Dino yelled, "Frankie!"

"The hell is this about, Fly?" Bobby said once she let go of his collar.

"You touch ONE HAIR on Jeremy's head, and I'll knock you into next week, do you understand me?" She snarled. "I was doing a favor for him, so you leave him alone!"

"Yeah, what kind of favor?" Bobby sneered.

Fly pushed him up against the wall. "That's none of your goddamn business! He asked me to talk to someone for him, and so I did. Now, if you don't stop being such a f**king dumbshit, I'll make you sleep in the basement with Billy for a month. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, ROBERT KOURELIS?"

"Yes, ma'am," Bobby whimpered in a small voice.

"That's better. Now, go find Doc. Shoo!"

A few minutes later, Ayesa stood in the middle of the Lounge, hands on hips. On one end of the room, Doc was examining a small wound on Jeremy's hand while on the other, Dino was holding Frankie in his lap.

"Okay," Ayesa removed her sunglasses, "So Jeremy, you say Frankie bit you??"

Jeremy nodded, "Uh-huh, she came in and started barking at the movie and I told her to shut the f**k up. So she bit me!"

Ayesa sighed, "Okay. Jeremy, first off, you shoulda just paused to movie and gotten Nancy, Dino, or myself to take care of it. Secondly, you shouldn't have talked to her like that."

She paused and looked at Dino, "Hey, is Frankie okay?" When Dino nodded, she smiled briefly and then looked at Doc, "So, now what?"

Doc shrugged, "His hand'll be fine. No stitches for him." When she saw the look on her friend's face, she sighed, "I said I was sorry!"

Ayesa shrugged, "Whatever Doc. I'm going to my room."

Fly and Bobby walked in just as A walked out of the Lounge. "Doc, I think this is yours." Fly pushed Bobby forward. "What happened to Jeremy?"

"Frankie bit him."

"Ah, well, here, if it's not serious, I'll go help him clean up." She grabbed Jeremy by the arm.

As they left the room, Jeremy started to speak. "Don't worry about it, Bobby's been taken care of. He won't bother you again."

"Is that what you sound like when you get angry?"

"Yeah. Its not that bad..."

Jeremy shuddered. "Wait, where are we going?"

"To the bathroom, of course. I said I was going to help you bandage that."

Yawning, Ayesa cricked her neck and sat on her bed. Rummaging around in a drawer, she pulled out her copy of The Dante Club and began reading. Sighing, she glanced over at her to-do list, "Hmmm...update website, burn cd's, finish book, finish the files. Agh," she sighed, "Gonna be another long-ass night I suppose..."

Fly sighed, pulling her hair loose from its usual ponytail, shaking out her dreads. Iggy Pop's Blah Blah Blah had finished playing, and the needle obediently clicked back into place and the turntable turned itself off. She gently closed it up, folding the table in and turning the speakers toward the body.

There was a sharp knock on her door, and she opened in, surprised to see Penny. "Nightcap?" The other said, offering a bottle of booze and holding two shotglasses. She nodded, and they drank in silence. "Goodnight, Fly."

"Night, Penny."

-Midnight, that night.

Sighing, Ayesa took a sip Coke and finished typing up her report. Crossing out the final item on her list, she leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. Suddenly, there was a knock on her door. Sitting up, she opened one eye, "Come on in. You're late."

[Ayesa86]

By FLY



Marty: WOOOOOOO!
Bobby: Oof, damn Marty, do you have to be so f**king bony?
Dino: Don't worry Bob, I got his leg!
Jeremy: Hey, these are nice shoes. Doesn't Marty wear the same size as me? I'll just...

[Ayesa86]

Smile! You're on Dino's Camera!

Dino: And Bobby and Marty here, well they may look the way they do, but I hate to tell you ladies, but ah...well look at how they're sitting fer chrissakes!

Bobby and Marty: EXCUSE ME?!


Marty: Dino...what the f**k are you talking about?!


Dino: I can give you not one, but TWO examples! Roll the tapes!

*tape noises* CLICK!




Marty: DUDE! WHAT THE HELL?!

Dino: Shit. Wrong part. Fast Forward!

*fast forwarding noises* CLICK!




Bobby: Er...Dino?!

Dino: Goddammit! Fast forward again!

*more fast forwarding noises* CLICK!




Bobby and Marty: DINO??!!!!!!

Dino: DAMMIT!!! One last try!

*fast forwarding noises* CLICK!

Dino: Okay! Marty you're up first, look at that pink purse thing you're carrying! What's up with that?!

Marty: It's a messenger bag, and YOU dyed it that color!!

Dino: Well what about THIS?!

Marty: What about it?

Dino: What kinda dude paints his toenails?!

Marty: A dark, brooding, sexy one who gets more girls than you ever did.

Dino: Dammit...Bobby, you're turn!

Bobby: Bring it.

Dino: For you all I need is this!




Bobby: What the hell D?

Dino: How the HELL does a guy like you always get the shit beaten out of you by a stick figure like Marty?!


*Marty looks at Bobby and nods...*

A few hours later...


Bobby: Here's you're lunch Dino!

Dino: But I don't like bananas! Let me out! I wanna go home!


Marty: *laughs* Oh I don't think you'll be doing anymore of that Dino...

Dino: HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPP!

[Ayesa86]

Ted: All right boys! I've got an announcement to make, so listen up! That means you too, Jeremy!


Jeremy: Whaaa? It was Dino, I swear!


Dino: Why you double-crossing son of a bitch!!


Billy: oooOOOooo....you're gonna get it now...
Jeremy: Ah, shaddup!


Marty: This might be ugly...
Bobby: So long as no clocks are involved, we'll be okay.


Ted: Boys...boys listen up...boys...boys...boys...*screams* SHUT UP!!!!!

*the boys fall silent*


The Guys: we're listening Ted...


Ted: Guys. DG is going away for a while...


Dino: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! *sobs uncontrollably*


Jeremy: The hell D?


Dino: *sniffle* Th-thats what he told me when my gerbil died! *SOB*


Ted: No Dino. I mean she's going on a mission trip, she'll be back in a bit, I PROMISE!

[Ayesa86]

By Fly:



Dino: Hey, I heard one of Bobby's fangirls has a crush on you...
Jeremy: That's great! I can't wait to tell him!



Jeremy: Hey Bob, Dino told me one of your fangirls thinks I'm cute!
Bobby: Riiiiiigggghhhhtttt, whatever you want to believe, Jer.



Jeremy: I can't believe Bobby didn't believe me!
Bobby: Like anyone would rather have Jeremy. What's he got that I don't, besides youth and the ability to rock the guyliner?
Marty: Shit, my shirt's only half tucked. Uh, I'll pretend it's a new fad. Yeah, no one will notice...



Security: Uh, Mr Carson? There's someone who would like to meet you.
Jeremy: Wonder who it is.



Bobby: Uh, is that my fangirl hitting on Jeremy over there? .....................Oh.

[Ayesa86]

Fly, one hand on her hip and holding a scarlet bound book, stood at Bobby's door, pounding on it with the other hand. "Bobby? Bobby, come out, it's time to eat."

"No! I want DG!"

"Bobby, please...starving yourself won't bring her back."

"I don't care. I want DG back!"

Fly sighed. "Fine, stay there." And she walked off, muttering to herself.

Ayesa was sitting in the Lounge, reading a book when Fly walked in, a scowl on her face. Glancing up, she remarked, "'ey Fly. What's got you in a sour mood? Bobby do something again?"

"He won't come out of his room. He wants DG," Fly flipped her eyes upward, opening her book.

"Oh, what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing. He can starve for all I care. I'm done with him."

Wincing a little, Ayesa whistled, "Oy...that's harsh..."

Shooting her a look, Fly countered, "Damn straight. I told you, I'm done with him."

Exhaling slowly, the younger girl shook her head and returned to her book, but not before muttering, "And how many times have you said that before?"

Fly opened her book, sticking her bookmark in the endnotes just as Marty and Dino came in, looking worried. "Have you guys seen Jeremy? He was supposed to help us at practice today."

"No. I was pounding on dumbass' door all goddamn morning," Fly said, not looking up from her book.

"I saw him with...Dave, I think, just before ten," Ayesa replied, looking up at Dino and Marty.

"Dumbass?" Dino blinked.

"Yeah, your stupid ass brother."

"Oh, yeah. Still in his room?"

"Yes."

Putting down her book, she looked at Fly sideways, "What is it you intend to do? You're seriously going to let him starve? Or are you just toying with him?"

Stretching, she got up and headed toward the kitchen, "Ah, what do I care? None of my business anyway, eh? I'm going to get a drink. You want anything?"

Nodding, Fly sighed, "A Diet Coke."

As soon as Ayesa left, Dino settled into Nancy's spot, and Marty found an unoccupied chair. "So, are you really going to let him starve?"

"If he wants to eat, he'll come out. But I'm not going to worry about him anymore. He can get over it if he thinks I'm going to coax him out. I have better things to do than babysit some sulking 30 year old."

"He's been sneaking out at night to steal food anyway," Marty added.

"See? Nothing to worry about. He's just doing it for show." Fly flipped a page.

Strolling out of the kitchen, Ayesa tossed Fly a can of Diet Coke. Sitting on the back of her armchair, she glanced at Marty and Dino, "Don't you guys have practice to do?"

"Well..." Dino glanced at Marty, who shrugged.

Closing her eyes, Ayesa tightened her jaw, "Are you guys telling me that you can't practice anything without Bob? Fer chrissakes, you're all playing guitars, just get with Billy and Jeremy and do some guitar shit. You don't need a f**king drummer for that, trust me."

Dino and Marty looked at each other again helplessly. Fly looked at them, then sighed. "Don't look at me, either. You go bang on his damn door if you want something from him."

At that moment, Penny walked in with Jeremy, then blushed when she spotted Marty, who smiled. "I thought you were at practice," Penny said, doing her best not to look guilty.


"Bob won't come out of his room. Thanks for finding Jeremy for us. How did you know we needed him?" Marty walked over and kissed her.

"I'm good like that."

Raising her eyebrows, Ayesa shot Fly a look and shuddered before going back to her book.

Rolling her eyes Fly shook her head at Penny as the boys wandered out of the room, "Nice going Penny. You're so f**king lucky that Marty isn't anything like Bob."

Penny, trying to look innocent, widened her eyes, "What do you mean Fly?"

"Shut up tramp!" Ayesa retorted almost in unison with Fly. Looking at each other, they shuddered again and went back to what they were doing.

Fly looked up again suddenly. "I don't have to worry about Bob's jealousy anymore."

"What?" Penny said, looking confused.

"Wait-JEREMY!" Fly threw her book down and raced out of the Lounge suddenly, and Penny looked at Ayesa, who just shrugged.

"So...lovely weather we're having," Penny said, looking defeated.


Ayesa shrugged, "I suppose. Personally I can't stand the humidity. Now if you'll excuse me," she got up, "I'm going to go get some work done."

Blinking, Penny watched her leave the room, "....bye?"

Dino, Marty and Jeremy all spun about when they heard Fly racing toward them. "Jeremy-meet me in the garden after practice, would you? I want to tell you something."

"Can't you tell me now?"

"No, its something Dino shouldn't know about." And she raced off again, shouting, "See you there!"

"So, uh, Jeremy...what shouldn't I know?" Dino said as they resumed their walk.

"The f**k if I know," Jeremy shrugged. "That was weird..."

Sighing, Ayesa sat in her office, sipping a Coke and watching the security cameras. She usually didn't pay any attention to the damn things. Dangerous shit happens if you look at the wrong time, but this time, she figured it was necessary. Everyone was more or less where she expected them to be. Ted was in the library, Doc & Bobby were in their respective rooms, Penny was in the Lounge, Dave was in the Bar with Amy, the guys were practicing, and Fly was in the Garden, which was unusual at this time of day, but hell, why not?

"Eh," she shrugged, "She's probably going to meet up with Jeremy in the gardens. Poor girl probably forgot that Bob's window overlooks the damn gardens."

Fly slipped into the gazebo, cursing silently that she didn't tell Jeremy exactly where to meet her. Oh well, he'll figure it out. Sighing again, she leaned up against a pillar, irritated that she left her book in the Lounge.

Bobby gazed out his window, and spotted Fly's elegant mess of dreadlocks bobbing under the willows and headed toward the gazebo. Then he stood up and flung himself on the bed. He looked up at his desk with the pictures of his girls, and looked away quickly again. DeeGee...

"Hmmm..." Ayesa sighed and looked out her window miserably. "What the f**k is Fly trying to do anyway? Somehow I don't think Bob's jealous streak is going to lure him out this time."

Gritting her teeth, more out of boredom than annoyance, she threw her feet up on her desk and threw darts at the wall across from her.

Fly woke up to someone shaking her. She shuddered to life, only to find Marty. "The hell are you doing here?"

"I know what you're doing. I told Jeremy to not come. Don't do this to Bobby, not now."

Fly shrugged. "If you get him out of his room by tonight, I won't chase Jeremy. Deal?"

Marty looked at her. "If you can't get him out, how can I?"

"Well, damn it, I've tried everything."

"Don't leave him. You and DG at the same time...he'd never come out. Please."

"You owe me, Martin Casey."

"Okay, what?" Ayesa raised an eyebrow as she looked across her desk at Marty.

He sighed, "I want you to help me get Bobby to come out."

Sighing, Ayesa shook her head, "Marty, Fly can't do it. What makes you think I can? I'm just the groundskeeper here. I can't make you guys do anything. I can threaten deadly force, but I can't make him come out if he doesn't want to."

"Come on A! You've got to know something!" Marty asked, staring at her pitifully.

"That look doesn't work on me Martin," Ayesa replied dryly, "But hell, I'll help. But I've got to hand it to you, you're loyal, almost too loyal for your own good, actually."

Walking to the door, she looked at him, "Come on. I'm going to eat something first. I skipped lunch and breakfast."

Fly faced Bobby's door again, and rapped lightly. "Bob? Bobby, dearest, come out. It does no good for you to be locked up here..."

"Where's DG?"

"Bobby, she's not coming back for awhile. We all miss her, dear. Can you please let me in? My Clif's Notes are in there."

There was a shuffling of feet, and the bright yellow pamphlet slid under the door.

"BOBBY! Let me in! I'll leave you for Jeremy, I swear I will! What will you do then, eh?" She pounded on the door, but nothing came from the other side. Finally, she snatched up the book and stormed off, snarling.

"Will you hurry up A?" Marty asked as Ayesa sat on the countertop munching on an orange.

Frowning, she tossed a piece of peel in the trash, "What's the hurry?"

Marty sighed, "Fly said that if he's not out by tonight, that she'll leave him for Jeremy."

Spitting out an orange slice, Ayesa's eyes widened. "She said what?!" she choked out.

As if on cue, Fly stalked into the kitchen, Clif notes in hand.

"Your turn, Casey," Fly spat out, throwing the book on the counter and unlocking the liquor cabinet. She pulled a bottle of expensive whiskey out, the locked the door again. "If you need me, I'll be in my room, getting as f**ked up as possible." She stormed out again, snarling.

"Well, guess she tried and failed again," Marty said, shuddering.

Glancing at Marty, Ayesa gestured for him to go ahead and try Bobby, then nodded and trailed after Fly silently. When she came to the door and found it locked, she grimaced and carded the lock before swinging it open very slowly. Bracing herself for certain death, she stepped inside.

Fly flung herself down on her bed, groping blindly for her book. Damn it! The book's in the Lounge! Growling, she took a swig from the bottle and got on her computer, opening a document and began to type.

There was a light rap on her door, and without bothering to turn around, she called out, “Whoever it is, come in.”

Stepping inside, Ayesa glared at the back of Bobby's head, "You're being ridiculous."

Startling, Bobby turned around and scowled, "How'd you get in?"

"Doesn't matter," Ayesa snapped, "What matters is that you're being childish as hell. Don't you even give me that look! We ALL miss DG, dammit, and you're not doing anyone, including yourself any favors by playing martyr. And don't think I don't know what you're doing Bob Kourelis! Who do you think conveniently leaves meals out for you at night? The goddamn easter bunny? f**k no!"

Snarling she slammed her fist into the wall nearest to her, "Who the f**k do you think you are doing this?! You think that this is what DG would want you to do?! She's going to be gone for ten f**king weeks Bob! It's not that bloody long! Suck it up and be a goddamn man! Frankly, this is none of my business, but dammit, I don't have time to deal with you guys being so juvenile!"

Giving him one last scathing look, she stalked out leaving the door open in stark defiance.

The door shut, but Fly heard no footsteps from whoever came in. She inwardly sighed, but kept typing, taking drinks from her bottle between paragraphs.

Suddenly, a hand took her bottle off the desk. "That's quite enough," a voice said. "You'll be too drunk to talk to Bobby if you keep at it at this rate."

Sulking in the Lounge, Ayesa paced back and forth, her head still ringing from her tirade earlier. "f**k, f**k, f**k!" she muttered, "I should've brought a broken bottle with me, shown him what's what."

Every so often, someone would pass through the Lounge, but no one was brave (or stupid) enough to try and talk to her. Clever people.

Fly looked up at DG. "Hey, I'm just checking up on you all before I leave for good." DG capped the bottle. "It looks like Marty and A got Bobby out of his room for now. He'll make his way down here after he eats. Don't let him know I was here, all right?"

"All right."

DG swept her up in a tight hug. "Take care of Bobby, all right?"

"Okay. Talk to Ayesa before you leave, please. And Doc."

"I'll try. See you later." DG slipped out as quietly as she came, and Fly smiled, sitting back down to her computer.

Eventually, Ayesa went back to her office, still fuming. As she slammed the door shut, she noticed a small note on her computer screen.

"Ayesa--Seems I just missed you. Take care of the guys. Love you lots.

Love--DG"

Smiling a little, Ayesa tucked the note into a drawer in her file cabinet before sinking down onto her sofa. Making a face, she reached down under the cushion and pulled out a tape recorder. The hell?! she thought.

"Ah well, maybe at least Bobby and Fly are getting back together..." she shook her head and glanced at a small picture adorning her desk, "Feh, what do I care?"

Pressing a button on her intercom, she called the kitchen, "Hullo? Anyone in the kitchen? If there's anyone in there, please deliver a Mountain Dew to Ayesa's office ASAP."

There was another rap on the door, slow and heavy. "Yes?" Fly smiled.

"Its me," Bobby's voice came through the door.

Fly stood up, and walked over to the door. She opened it, leaning against the door frame. Bobby stood there, looking ashamed. "Yes?"

"I'm...sorry..."

"No more jealousy trips? No more pouting, sulking, being a general pain in my ass? One more time, and I'm gone, Bob."

"Is Jeremy really worth that?"

Fly laughed. "Promise first."

Bobby groaned. "All right, I promise."

Fly leaned in, and whispered in his ear, "Jeremy's in love with Ayesa, you silly man. I could never do that to A."

Sighing, Ayesa glanced at Bobby and Fly at the breakfast table. "I take it you've made up?" she remarked dryly.

Nodding, Bobby said something incomprehensible through a mouthful of cereal as Fly rolled her eyes.

"Well that's good to know...I think."

"Sorry about all the trouble and stuff," Marty added, "Shouldn't have gotten you involved."

Shrugging Ayesa set about slicing a grapefruit, "Eh, no problem, man. This job has its perks."

Dino blinked, "Say what?"

"Nothing Dino," Ayesa smiled slyly and took a bite of her grapefruit, "Nothing at all."

[Ayesa86]

The boys were in the Lounge alone, listening to Jeremy play when they heard a scream. Moments later, Fly came flying in, gripping a broom handle. She grabbed Jeremy and put him between herself and the door. "Hey! When did I become a meat shield?"

"There's a guy passed out on the floor in the hall! I poked him with a stick-" she jabbed with her broom- "he groaned, so I screamed and ran in here!"

"You sure it wasn't just Bobby? I haven't seen him all day."

"He's in his room. He won't come out because its DG's day, and she's not here," the girl shot back.

Marty sighed. "I'll go look." He stood and walked out.

Dino looked at Fly. "You scream like a girl," he said, laughing.

She snarled. "I am a girl, dumbass."

Stumbling into the Lounge, Ayesa squinted her eyes in the light, "Who the f**k was that screaming?"

Billy raised an eyebrow and looked up from the newspaper, "What's with you?"

"Long night Bill," Ayesa groaned, shooting a venemous glare at Dino, who had started sniggering uncontrollably, "Shut it D. I was filing shit with Ted until 2 AM."

Peeking from around Fly, Jeremy looked at her with wide eyes, "Is it true that you and Ted have access to all the hidden cameras in the Asylum?"

"Yes, Jeremy," she replied, "but we have better things to do than watch you people all the time, now what the f**k is going on?"

"Did you not see that dude passed out in the hall?"

"Fly, the hell are you talking about?"

"There's a guy passed out in the hall! I know, I poked him."

"So you were the one screaming?"

"He's not there now, Fly." Marty came back. "Your guy is gone."

Ayesa glared at the other girl. "You screamed for nothing? It was probably just Bobby."

Fly rolled her eyes. "You guys think I wouldn't know what Bob looks like?" She stormed out before anyone could answer, and Ayesa just shrugged, making her way to the kitchen.

Dino snorted, "I bet she would, wouldn't she, eh Jer?"

Jeremy backed slowly away, "Er...sure D...yeah."

In the kitchen, Marty glanced at Ayesa, "You didn't see anything weird on the screens last night, did you?"

Giving him a deadpan look, Ayesa replied with, "Look Marty, I said I was filing shit with Ted, that's what I was doing. I don't have time to watch the rest of you and your little sexcapades."

"Psh," Marty poured himself some orange juice, "Like you don't from time to time."

"No Marty, I don't," Ayesa replied chillily, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see if I can't find out who our lurker is."

As Ayesa stormed out, Fly stormed in, fuming. "Hey Fly-" Dino began.

"Shut it!" She snapped, glaring at Jeremy, who skittered away from the fridge, and Fly pulled a Diet Coke from it.

"So...errr, Fly..." Dino started.

"What? Spit it out. Charms don't work-they only piss me off."

"So, are Jer and Ayesa an item? I mean, you're friends with both of them."

Jeremy shouted, "Shut up, Dino!"

Fly held up a hand. "I ask for one thing from you all-" she paused a moment, the roared- "STAY THE f**k OUT OF EACH OTHER'S PRIVATE LIVES!" Then she spun on her heel and marched out.

Dino blinked. "Who pissed in her Cheerios this morning?"

Stalking into the arcade, Ayesa ran into Dave, "Hey Ayesa, what's going on?"

Sighing, Ayesa shook her head and grabbed a poolstick, "Eh, Fly's ill about some dude passed out in the hall. You know anything about it Dave?"

Shrugging, he shook his head, "Dude in the hallway? Nah. I'll keep an eye out though. Want a drink?"

"I think I'll pass. Work to do ya know?" Shaking her head, she put the stick up and left.

After she had left, Dave leaned over the bar and whispered, "Hey man, you okay down there? She's gone."

Fly tapped on Bobby's door. "Hey, I brought you lunch."

He opened the door, and took the sandwich. "You okay?"

"Just the same old, same old."

"De-now?" he said through a mouthful.

She nodded, then pushed him back in. "Before someone sees."

"Dank oo." He said through the door, and she tapped it in response, walking away toward the garden.

Leaning against a bookcase, Ayesa looked around the room, "This is stupid, you know that?"

Glancing up from his reading, Ted raised an eyebrow, "What is stupid Ayesa?"

"We have all these books, but only you, myself, and Fly read them...except the Jefferson ones--Bob reads those at least."

Closing his book, Ted gave her a look, "Okay, what is really wrong with you?"

Sighing, Ayesa sat down in an armchair, "It's this lurker business. I think Dave knows something he's not telling me and I don't know why--he's always been honest with me before."

"Did it not occur to you that maybe he thinks you might kill him over it?"

"Oh come on, Ted? What could he have possibly done?"

Meanwhile, in the bar, Dave rummaged behind the counter, "Gin & tonic?"

"Hmmm," a voice responded, "Maybe just a straight vodka if you've got one?"

Dave smiled, "Sure thing man. You know, I bet Ayesa would pop a cork if she knew you were here."

"Really? She's the pissy one with the stick?"

"Nah, that's Fly. She's the one who I was talking to earlier."

"Ahh...I see."

Jeremy grabbed Fly on her way to her study into the bathroom. "The bloody f**king hell is this about?"

"Come on-you know what. You're the Asylum gossip queen, and you blow up at Dino over that? What's with you?"

Fly rolled her eyes. "You're an idiot."

"Well, that explains absolutely nothing."

"Maybe it's none of your business."

"But it is, because it's about me." Jeremy crossed his arms.

"Because I'm Ayesa's friend."

"And me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Like I said, you're an idiot." She pushed by him and walked out.

"Okay, so Ted thinks he might be able to find your mystery man on the tapes from last night." Glancing at Fly, nodded curtly in her direction.

"Whoa, wait a sec," she protested, "When did it become my f**king mystery man?!"

"Since you ran amuck through the Asylum screaming about it," Ted pointed out, "Besides, it's not my problem. I don't have to do this."

Raising an eyebrow, Ayesa shot him a look, "Yes you do Ted."

"Fine," Ted mumbled, "But you could be nicer about it, you know."

"So all we need are the hall and lobby tapes, right?" Fly tilted her head.

"Yes. Fly," A said, "What did he look like?"

"He was a guy...I didn't get that good of a look. I just saw his legs, mostly, then poked him and ran and hid behind Jeremy."

A scowled. "Yeah, Jeremy..."

Fly rolled her eyes. "It wasn't because of that."

Ted groaned. "Can you two please keep your gossip about whatever for after we figure out who that was?"

The two shrugged, then nodded.

"Okay," Ayesa pulled out a marker and started writing on a board, "Our target is in all probability a white male of age older than either Fly or I. So in essence if it's male and isn't Bill, Bob, Jeremy, Dino, Marty, Ted, Dave, or me in a hat, then it's our man."

Ted rolled his eyes, "Gee, well that certainly narrows it down."

"Shut it Ted," Fly snapped, "If I can't gossip, you can't be a wiseass."

Raising her eyebrows, Ayesa picked up the tapes, " You know what? f**k you guys, I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'll be in my office."

As she stalked out, Fly looked at Ted, "She has VCR in her office??"

Ted shrugged, "Yeah. So do I. It comes with the job."

Scowling, Fly crossed her arms over her chest, "You two suck, you know that?"

Snorting, Ted sat down in a chair, "I've been called worse things."

Fly narrowed her eyes, and curses began streaming from her mouth. Ted turned pale, then bolted from the room. Once he was gone, Fly smirked, then stood and skipped her way to her study, humming and smiling.

"So, how are you going to get me out of here?"

Dave shrugged. "Just wait until night. Once everyone goes to bed, we'll sneak you out."

"Won't Amy know you're gone?"

"Nah, she's gone for the next two days. No one will ever know you were here. I won't get killed, and you got what you came for. Easy as that."’

In her office, Ayesa's eyes trailed back and forth over the screen until they alighted on one spot. The hell? Stopping the tape, she played it back frame by frame. Son of a bitch!

Gritting her teeth, she pressed her intercom button, and spoke into it, "Dave Navarro! Get your sorry ass in my office this instant and bring your little Australian friend with you! If you come peacefully, there won't be any violence!"


Elsewhere in the Asylum, Dave looked up, "Damn. Looks like the jig is up, man."

"Should we make a run for it?"

Dave's eyes widened, "Are you f**king kidding me?! That's just asking for death. She thinks you're damn cool, so you should be safe. Just be cool."

Fly heard the intercomm, then began to laugh. Running to the door, she just made it to see Dave and MiG walk by, looking worried. "You smuggled in MiG? Oh Dave...you're even prettier than Bobby."

"What are you talking about Fly? Have you seen my blue army jacket? Hi MiG," Marty said, walking out of the weight room.

"Why would you be looking for your jacket in the weight room, Marty?"

"I wasn't. I was-" he stopped, then looked at the boys' retreating back. "What the hell is MiG doing here?"

Fly sighed, threw up her hands. "Boys are dumb." She marched back into her study and shut the door.

As Dave and MiG stood in her study, Ayesa stood at her desk, a perplexed expression on her face. "Okay, let me get this straight," she looked at MiG, "You wanted to borrow some of Marty's clothes so you had Dave smuggle you in?"

Eyes wide, MiG nodded, "Uh-huh, please don't eat me."

Raising an eyebrow, Ayesa put one hand on her hip, "Who the hell told you I would eat you?" She gritted her teeth, "Dave?"

Dave shook his head frantically, "I honestly don't know WHERE on Earth he heard that!"

At this, Ayesa sighed, "All right, all right. First off, I'm not going to eat either one of you. I'm just not into that kinda thing. Second of all, next time, just give me a ring on my cell. I'm a tad better at this than Dave." She glanced at him, "No offense man, but leaving him in the hallway was a dumbf**k move."

"None taken," Dave replied quickly.

"So..." she paused, "I suppose you're free to go if you need to. You're probably welcome to stay for lunch if you want though."

Sighing in relief, MiG looked at Dave as they walked out, "That wasn't nearly as bad as you said it would be."

Dave shrugged, "We caught her on a rare good day. She musta gotten laid recently."

"I heard that!" she yelled after him, and they heard a faint clicking noise.

"MiG?"

"Yeah Dave?"

"Run like hell."

Fly heard a knocking on her door, and opened it to find most of the Asylum out there. "Yes?"

"So, who was it?" Penny asked.

Fly rolled her eyes. "MiG."

"What's the Miglet doing here?"

"The hell if I know! Go ask Ayesa." She shut the door, and the other began to make their way to A's office only to see Dave and MiG running in opposite directions-Dave toward them, MiG out the main doors, and Ayesa holding her Derringer threateningly in the hall just outside her office.

She turned to the shocked audience. "What? Like I'd actually shoot MiG." And slammed the door of her office.

The next morning, Ayesa and Fly were in the Lounge when Dave ran into the room screaming and slammed the door.

"What the f**k Dave?" Fly glanced up from her writing irritably.

"What the f**k?!" Dave yelled, "I'll tell you what the f**k! There was a spider the size of a goddamn DINNER PLATE on the pillow beside me when I woke up this morning! That's what the f**k!!!"

As he dashed into the kitchen and ran back to his room with a mallet and an armful of Raid cans, Fly turned and looked at Ayesa who was laughing quietly behind her laptop screen. "You're a sick bastard, you know that A?"

Glancing up, Ayesa grinned crookedly, "He's gotta learn sometime."

Asylumpiece Theater has commenced. Will Dave kill the spider? Can Bobby read other books besides ones on Jefferson? Will Marty find his jacket? Tune in next time!

[Ayesa86]

By Shy

Okay, here is my welcome back pic fic - Rockstar Supernova edition...

DG is back! I missed her so much…I wonder if she missed me? Will she even notice me with all of those new rockstar guys around?


I’m sure she would like that bald guy, but luckily he is married!


I think dirtyPhil could be kind of snarky, and she likes snarky, so…I don’t know…


Oh no! That Australian dude has that cool accent and is all like “G’day” and “No Worries”. She will totally fall for him!


Desperate times call for desperate measures. Here goes. “Hey DG….Looky here!”


I think that worked like a charm…

[Ayesa86]

Doc was scowling, glowering at DG, newly returned from her trip, talking to Bobby. "What's your problem?" Ayesa said, not looking up from her sketchpad.

"Can't you see?"

At that moment, Fly bounced into the room. "Lovely day, isn't it?"

Doc scowled more. "What are you so cheerful about?"

"Nothing, nothing!" And she wandered back out, giggling. Ayesa rolled her eyes.

"Oh psh, Doc," closing her sketchbook, Ayesa glanced nervously at the door Fly had just gone through, "You know you're glad that he's back to normal."

"Hmmph," Doc scowled, "Still...I'm feeling kinda neglected here."

"Yeah," Ayesa shrugged, "Whichever..." Getting up, she left through the same route that her friend had taken. What the hell is going on here?

Fly was almost at her study when someone grabbed her arm. It was Penny. "What are you so cheerful about?"

"I...thought of a good ending for my book!"

"Oh, well that's good."

Suddenly, the door to the Oblivion study opened, and someone half came out of the door. "Man, what is-" Fly gasped and pushed the person back into the room.

"I saw that! Oh Fly, how could you?"

"It was an accident...sort of."

"Well, you know what happens now..."

"Don't you dare! Who kept quiet about you-know-who last week, hmmm?'

Penny sighed. "Fine. But you have to at least tell Ayesa."

"I'll think about it. But I have a book to write, so if you'll excuse me..." She walked into the study, shutting the door.

"Yeah...her book."

Sighing, Ayesa checked the cartrage on her handgun and banged on the door to Fly's study. "Fly!" she called, "I know you're in there! Open up!"

She better not make me pick her damn lock... Ayesa narrowed her eyes at the thought.

Fly cracked the door. "What?"

"What's going on in there?"

"Well...come in."

Ayesa stepped into the room. "Oh. My. God. Fly-why?"

"He was sleeping on our lawn, and...he looked so pathetic. So I snuck him in and told him he could sleep in here."

"And how long has he been here?"

"...................A week."

Sitting on a nearby stool, Ayesa sighed, "Well...what are we going to do with him?"

Fly bit her lip, "Can we keep him? I promise not to let him run amuck too much..."

"I dunno Fly...he's seems kinda high-maintenence...besides, what's in it for me?"

Fly shrugged, "I'm sure we can work something out...I mean what are we going to do? Penny already knows..."

"Shit...you don't think anyone else knows, right?"

"Bobby's busy with DG, so I don't think anyone does...unless they've noticed I'm suddenly eating for two."

"So Ted probably suspects."

"Hey man, don't I get a say in this?" The man on the couch said, looking up from the Rolling Stone he was reading.

Fly ruffled the guy's hair. "Not really, dearest."

"Dearest?"

Fly shrugged. "Like I said, Bobby's busy."

Ayesa buried her face in her hands. "Why? Fly, honestly. You can't keep bringing boys in..."

"I didn't bring __ in that one time!"

Then there was a knock on the door.

Jerking her head up, Ayesa's eyes widened, "f**k! We've got to hide him somewhere."

Fly shook her head, "He won't fit under the bed, I've tried."

Raising an eyebrow, Ayesa glanced at him, "The closet then? He can't just sit here."

Suddenly, the knocking became more insistant, "Okay, okay!" Fly shouted, "I'm coming, I'm coming! Hang on a minute!"

Ayesa winced, "This is bad..."

"Hey, what are you doing?" The man said. "Watch the jacket, man!"

"Shut up!" Ayesa hissed, shoving him into the closet. "Be quiet!"

"This f**king sucks, man."

Fly opened the door. "Fly, we need to talk, dear. Ted told me you're eating twice as much as usual. Is your depression kicking in again? Hi Ayesa." Doc stepped into the room.

"No, I've just been a little more hungry, with all the extra things that have been going on, that's all."

"Now dear, I know its hard because of Bobby and all, but you really should watch your diet."

"Doc, I'm not depressed, really!"

"I want out..." came a muffled voice from the closet.

"What was that?"

"Nothing! Just my tummy growling..."

Leaning against the closet door, Ayesa grimaced. "Shut the f**k up!" she hissed in between clenched teeth.

"I beg your pardon?" Doc shot her a vaguely offended look.

"Nothing, Dok," Ayesa replied, "I hear things sometimes, remember?"

Doc frowned, "No..."

Ayesa laughed nervously, "Well I do. It has something to do with my sleeping problems, ya know?"

"Whatever A..." Doc shot Fly a worried look and wandered out.


Fly shut the door and locked it.

"The f**k is going on here?" The man said, pulling himself out of the closet.

"We have to keep you secret!"

"Why man? You guys run around here all the time on your own."

"Because you will get eaten, that's why. Some people don't take kindly to new boys here."

"Not fair!"

Fly snapped, "I feed you, clothe you, let you primp in my bathroom. Suck it up. Until we can find a way to announce you without serious repercussions, then you'll have to stay in here."

"But...man, this sucks."

"Better than working at Hooters and sleeping on our lawn, isn't it?"

"Yeah...I guess..."

Fly and Ayesa looked at each other, and sighed.

Glancing up, Ayesa looked at Fly, "Wait a sec, he's been primping in your bathroom?"

Fly shrugged, "Yeah, why?"

She scowled, "I wondered where my hair wax went...that shit was expensive, dammit!"

"Hello! But what does this have to do with me?"

"Shut it!" Ayesa snapped.

He looked at Fly, "Is she always this bitchy?"

Snapping her head around, Ayesa narrowly missed his head with a throwing knife. Twirling a second one on her fingers, she narrowed her eyes, "Wanna say that again?" Turning back to Fly, she sighed, "He can probably sleep in my office from time to time as long as he promises not to f**k with my security camera system."

"He'll be good...right Lukas?" Fly elbowed him.

"Yeah man...I'll be good!"

"Okay. Now, how do we present him to everyone else?"

"I have an idea..."

Ayesa looked at Fly. "What?"

"Call all the girls to the Lounge-just the girls. The boys should be practicing right about now, anyway. You," she nudged the man, "Go do your makeup."

Several minutes later, all the girls were assembled in the Lounge, excluding Fly.

"What the hell is this?!" Penny glared at Ayesa irritably.

"Shut up Penny," she replied wearily, "All will be made clear in time, okay?"

Suddenly Fly appeared in the doorway, "are you guys ready?"

Smiling grimly, Ayesa nodded, "So it seems."

"I don't wanna, man!" Came a voice on the other side of the door.

"Come here! It's not that bad...GET OVER HERE NOW!" Fly disappeared for a moment, then came back, dragging the man behind her. "Girls, we have a new boy in the Asylum."

"So it seems," DG said. "Are we going to kick him out now?"

"No! Ayesa and I want to keep him. He can sleep in Ayesa's office sometimes and in my study other days. Is this all right with everyone?"

"But I want to-"

"Hush now, dear." Lukas pouted.

"What about Bobby and...er, well, Bobby?" Doc said, after getting a warning look from Ayesa.

"I have that covered. I'll talk to him about it later," Fly replied smoothly. "So can we keep him? Please please please?"

"What's in it for me?" Lukas said, and Fly leaned in, murmuring something to him. He blushed, then said, "I can live with that."

Suddenly Jeremy burst into the Lounge. "Has anyone seen Billy's-"

Stopping up short, Jeremy looked at Lukas with wide eyes, "Who the hell are you?"

Raising her eyebrows, Ayesa stepped in, "Jeremy, this is Lukas, he'll be staying in the Asylum. Lukas, this is Jeremy, he'll show you the ropes." Under her breath she added, "Like how not to get eaten by the others..."

"Oh...er..." Jeremy looked around the room, "I guess I'll be going..." With that, he turned and ran out of the room.

Looking at Fly, Ayesa let out a low whistle, "I hope you have a damn good explanation ready...looks like you'll need it sooner than we thought..."

Fly muttered back, "Are you kidding? I'm the queen of bullshitting. How do you think I got into college? Just don't freak out at anything I say."

Minutes later, the boys all came into the room. "Who's this joker?" Dino said, looking Lukas over.

"He's awfully short," Marty said, "but he can dress."

"Ayesa and I found him on the lawn this morning, and he's going to stay with us for awhile. We all can get along with him, right? I mean, I would hate to have to evict any troublemakers..."

"Yes, of course. Right guys? We'll be good, Fly!" Bobby said, shuddering at the look in her eyes.

"Good. Now go finish practice. Except, Jeremy, dear, could you give Lukas a tour of the house?"

"Why me?"

"Because I said so."

Jeremy shuddered, then nodded. "Of course, Fly! I'd be happy to!"

Raising an eyebrow, Ayesa nodded slowly, "Well that went well...you scared the shit out of them."

Fly shrugged, "It's what I do."

Doc looked around, "Does this mean I get your Bobby days, Fly?"

Glaring at Doc, she replied, "Not a f**king chance!"

"But you have two boys, that's not fair!"

"Well, you know...too damn bad. Do you want Lukas?"

"Ew, no."

"All right then."

DG looked around, then sighed. "Well, I guess that's it then."

"Yeah..." Fly looked at Ayesa, who shrugged.
Stretching, Ayesa cricked her neck and looke around the room, "Well, if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do. The security cameras need tweaking, and I have to Lukas-proof the office."

As she walked out, Nancy sighed, "It's going to be weird around here now..."

"As if it wasn't already?"

Fly sighed, leaning against the side of the house in the garden I hope this works out. She opened her book, pulling out the black leather bookmark, and began to read.

"Did you want me to explain left-handed guitar or not?"

Fly looked up to see Lukas and Bobby standing there. Bobby shrugged. "I knew you'd be here." And then he left.

Fly smiled. "Of course."

[Ayesa86]

By Fly:



Billy: Psst! Jer, come here...
Jeremy: I wasn't the one that spit in Dino's water, I swear!
Billy: Nevermind that, did you know your girl is getting married? To some guy...something Rossi.



Jeremy: But but but...aw nuts. I really liked her.



Bobby: Sorry to hear about your girl...what's so funny?
Jeremy: Have you seen her new man? He's like, like...



That.

[Ayesa86]

The boys were in the Lounge when suddenly Jeremy came shooting in. "Dude, Fly's out for blood. I'd hide if I were you."

"What's she pissed about?"

"I don't know, something about the midget."

"Oh shit!" Dino raced out of the room. From the other side of the door, the boys heard Fly shout, "You'd better be running to the BATHROOM, Dino!" And moments later she herself came stomping into the room.

Sighing, Ayesa stuck her head out of the office to see what the commotion was.

"Well, what is it Ayesa?"

She shrugged, "I dunno Ted. Chances are Dino's putting Lukas through new-guy hell and Fly's going to kill him."

"Oh." Ted went back to reading his book, but then looked up, "You're not going to get involved?"

"Don't see why I should...I mean if asked, I might, but honestly, well, it's not like I can fix it. I'm kinda on the short side too to be honest." She sighed, "It's not exactly fair though. They didn't do this to Dave or Jeremy when they showed up. It annoys me."

"Hi Fly! How're things?" Marty said, trying to look innocent.

"I'll tell you how things are. I have GUYLINER on my white linen jacket because SOMEONE decided to first throw Lukas in the koi pond, then took the strings off his guitar, then put all his haircare products on the top shelf where he can't reach them. THAT'S HOW THINGS ARE."

"It's not our fault he's short," Jeremy said, snickering.

Fly strode over to stand inches from him, looking up into his faced, and he winced. "And what...does height have to do with it? Hmmm?"

"Nothing, nothing!"

"Don't you all think for a second I'm done being upset about this. Am I understood?" And then she stormed out again, slamming the door behind her.

Several minutes later, Ayesa walked through the Lounge tossing a large britva blade back and forth between her hands. Jeremy looked at her hopefully, but winced at the stony glare she gave him and the rest of the guys. As she exited the room, there was a collective sigh of relief. "Christ that was cold," Marty muttered.

Jeremy nodded, "Yeah...she definately knows about this..."

As she walked down the hall, Ayesa grinded her teeth together as she saw Bobby lurking in the hallway. Fading into the shadows, she waited until he was walking past her before grabbing him by the shoulder and yanking him towards her. "Where the f**k is he?" she growled.

Glancing worriedly at the knife, Bobby stared at her, "Who?"

Flipping the blade over in her hand, she glared at him, "You know who. Your brother! Where is he?"

"You promise not to kill him or break his hands?"

She narrowed her eyes, "Fine. But only for the bloody band."

"He's in the basement last I saw."

"Thanks," letting go of Bobby, she paused to tuck the knife into her belt before heading off.

"Lukas? Lukas...I just checked the bathroom-Dino put your gel back where it was...Luke?" Fly looked around her study. The hell did he go? Wads of Kleenex lay on the table, stained with eyeliner.

"Where did that bastard go?" She muttered, grabbing her sweatshirt. As she left her study, Penny walked by. "Have you seen Lukas? I told him to stay in my study."

"Nope, I saw him a couple hours ago, holding guitar strings, but I haven't since. The hell happened to his hair and makeup? He looked crappier than usual. Have you seen Jeremy?"

"In the Lounge, with Marty."

"Oh, nevermind then..." Penny wandered off. Fly considered making a comment, then shook her head and made her way to the gazebo.


Storming down the stairs to the basement, Ayesa spotted Dino sitting in a chair with his back to her, reading a magazine. Narrowing her eyes, she glided silently next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Boo."

Spinning around, Dino looked at her with wide eyes, then sighed, "Oh A! Am I happy to see you!" Then he noticed her expression, "Or maybe not....?"

Glaring at him, she pulled the chair out from under him, and seated herself. "Look Dino," she spat, "I don't appreciate what you guys are doing to Lukas at all."

"What do you mean?" Dino spluttered, "That was f**king funny!"

"FUNNY?!" grabbing him by his shirt collar, Ayesa leaped to her feet, "You think throwing him in the koi pond, ripping his guitar up, and hiding his shit is FUNNY?!"

"Yes," he squeaked, "I mean NO!"

Narrowing her eyes to slits, Ayesa shook her head, "You know what? Usually, I put up with a lot from you, but today? Today you make me sick!"

Letting go of his collar, she flipped her knife around and caught him in the jaw with the ebony handle. "Jeeze A!" he yelled, "That f**kin' HURT!"

"Hurt? I'll show you hurt, get over here!" pocketing the blade, she pulled back her arm and caught him in the jaw again, "Think about that before you throw someone in the koi pond! You think that's funny? Huh? Does it make you laugh Dino? Does it?"

Dino shook his head frantically.

"Oh really? It doesn't? Let's see if this makes you laugh," moving to one side, Ayesa brought one leg up and kicked the back of his knee before turning away and heading up the stairs. Looking at him over her shoulder, she said, "Next time, think twice before pulling shit like that. Now you should probably get yourself to Ted's office or Doc's room to get fixed up. Take your pick."

Fly wandered about the gardens, scowling. Of all the stupid, idiotic...there he was. Sniffling, Lukas was settled on the moss by the duck pond, watching the swan couple. His hair was sticking out in multiple places, and some of his guyliner has dried on his face.

"Hey sweetie..." Fly settled down next to him, ruffling his hair slightly.

"Hey. Man, why are they so mean to me? I didn't do anything to them. Only Bobby's nice to me, man. And Billy, too."

"Well, honey, they don't like having new boys come here. It makes them feel threatened."

"I don't get it."

"Well, I don't either, dear, but A and I will make it right." Fly threw some Goldfish from a plastic baggie in her pocket to the ducks. "Just act like you don't care."

"But I do, man. It hurts."

"I know..." Fly leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I can fix anything, just you watch."

Drying her hands, Ayesa was sucking thoughtfully on a cough drop when Bobby wandered into the room, "Hey A, have you seen Dino?"

Glancing up, Ayesa smiled slyly, "I doubt he'll be running amok for a while...he's probably in Ted or Doc's rooms."

"Er...okay..." looking at her nervously, Bobby left the room.

Sighing, she shook her head, "I hope Fly can finish the job...I suppose I could smack Marty and Jere around a little, but dammit...this situation sucks..."

"Oh well...I guess I'll go check on the cacti. Billy said one of his turtles bit one yesterday..."

A week later, Fly poked her head into the Lounge, where Jeremy, Marty, Billy, and Lukas were flipping through a Gibson catalog. "Luke, I have something for you..."

"Yeah, hold on a second."

"Lukas...I don't have time. It'll only take a minute."

"Okay, man, I'm coming, I'm coming." He stood up and followed her down the hall.

"Close your eyes."

"You're not going to push me in the closet again, are you?"

"No, for Chrissakes. Shut your goddamn eyes."

She led him another few feet, then stopped him. "Open them." They stood in front of a door with a plaque- "Lukas' Room."

"My own room? I don't have to live in your study or Ayesa's office anymore?"

"Nopers. Take a peek. It overlooks the duck pond."

Marty, who had followed them, looked at Fly, then at Lukas. "Welcome home, man."

That about wraps it up for Asylum Theatre!

Will Dino recover from his wounds? Will Lukas teach Fly to play left hand? Will Ayesa ever have a day off?

Tune in next time on All My Guitarists!

[Amy]

DG's HammerJam phone conversations, as posted by DG on 10/14/06:

My phone call from Marty:
Ok.. Here is the conversation.. He sounded like a friend, in a very good humor and like he really wanted to talk to me.. Poor thing.

He asked me what I was doing. I said I just got done watching clogging.. DEAD SILENCE

Marty-"Clogging?"
Me-Yeah.. you know what that is?
Marty-Some kind of Irish dancing.. Where are you?
Me-Yeah.. I'm in ________, Virginia in the Applachian Mts.
Marty-Oh.. (something I forget)
Me-Um.. yeah.. sorry, I'm not there, but I couldn't miss the clogging
Marty-I know you live far away
Me (trying to redeem myself)-Yeah, I'm really sorry I'm not there. I wanted to be there.
Marty-We'll catch up sometime soon.. Thanks for all your work and keeping the board going.


I tried to get in "Thanks for listening to my rambling." but he handed the phone off before I could get that in. Of course then in the background I hear Klly (who is evil) talking about me choosing a tractor pull over HJ.

Intermission-an hour giggle fest w/ Penny and Kelley




So my next phone call is the Outstanding Amy. I'm thinking she's calling to talk about Matt, but no she says "You wanna talk to the little drummer boy" OH MY GOSH.. she didn't just call him "little" "drummer" "boy"

So.. He takes the phone and says (while laughing) "Hey Angela, I guess this is the little drummer boy"


Me-Sorry about that
Him-That's ok
Me-Sorry I can't be there. I really wanted to be
Him-(can't remember.. something like yeah that's too bad)
Me-I've been on the phone with several people and they are all excited
Him-That's cool..
Me-I hope you guys make it down south soon
Him-Where are you?
Me-Virginia
Him-Oh, at least it's warmer there
Me-Well it was cold today, but warmer than Chicago I guess
Him-laugh
Me-I really do hope you guys can come down south soon so we can do this whole HJ thing down here.
Him-LAUGH.. that'd be cool
Him-Well, I'll let you go
Me-Thanks for talking to me I'm a big fan
Him-Good.. Talk to you soon
Me-Bye!

What a (boring) conversation. At least I didn't mention clogging!