Got Poetry? III

[Deleted]

I don't have any accounts for MySpace or Facebook. I had all that stuff way back when... But I felt I wanted to have some privacy. These days everything is put out there and well...I rather keep part of me for myself...lol

Awe...I just saw the video posted of Marty proposing to his love at Hammerfest....Congratulations Marty! Too sweet Love is a blessing.

Dawn ( hugs )...the house will be fixed. Things take time, but it will all come together. It always does work itself out...just have faith. And remember no matter how stressed you are, please take at least 10 minutes to breathe. Even if it is just few minutes at the end of the day...it does help.

As for Deviant Art... It is fun. I need to write some new material to post. However, I have become slightly distracted lately. We are between moving and the end of the school year. Also, my son wanted to write a children's book with me He is doing the illustrations. So, I am working on that with him. It's fun. I told him that I will help him self publish the story...and he can keep any royalties. For me it is just for fun. Writing is like breathing for me...don't know what I would do without it. This project makes it more special.

[dawn]

That sounds like an amazing project Star - and such a wonderful keepsake for when he gets older! Make sure you let me know where I can download it - I'll gladly help him with his first royalty cheque!

The proposal was great wasn't it - I loved how they both walked off stage together - no doubt wanted some private time after such a public engagement!

I agree with you about what some people put out there - I have facebook, but don't post on it often, only re-posting funny pictures or wishing people happy birthday really! I find it crazy when people announce their whole lives on there, maybe it's because I don't have things going on (crazy holidays/kids etc) that I would post about! I figure the people who need to know what's going on in my life know about it as they're with me and the ones I can't tell in person, if it's big news get calls or emails or whatever! But I guess social media isn't for an introvert like me.

So kitchen update..... nearly everything is out now, the guy comes round on Friday to rip it all out, then the electrician starts Monday with the plasterer arriving on the Wednesday and then the following Monday the new kitchen starts going in! We're already fed up with the fridge freezer being in the living room as we keep forgetting the milk every time we go to make a coffee!

Hope all is well with you & yours. Sorry I've not been around much this week.

[Deleted]

Awe...it's okay. I never expected you to post right away...life for you sounds busy. I am grateful that you post back when you have the opportunity. It gives me something to look forward to.

Facebook is a great outlet to catch up with friends. Nothing wrong with that at all. Just for myself, I decided to pull back a bit. It was just so easy to put everything out there in cyber land...but harder to take back. Not that I have much to hide. I am a goodie two shoes...lol So I am pretty boring. But, I decided that maybe having a personal life should be just that...personal.

Wow...sounds like your place is coming along fast! That is great. I hope the repairs and remodeling go smoothly. You deserve a wonderful home

[dawn]

Thanks Star. I know what you mean about keeping some things personal, I feel much the same. I now view facebook as "if my dad read this, would I be happy about it?", which usually stops me posting too much! I like catching up with people and it's handy for remembering birthdays, but I try to keep the personal stuff as private as I can - not that there's much, like you, I'm a goodie two shoes - but I don't wish Art a happy birthday on there (unless I'm making a comment that I've already said it in person), or post conversations that we've had on there. I doubt anyone would be interested!

I don't want to put anything about the kitchen on there as I don't want to look like either (a) I'm bragging or (b) am rich and therefore worth robbing!

At the moment, we're living in a small amount of chaos - no kitchen at all, the electrics are being started today, they'll take a while, next Monday Kev comes back to start putting it all back together, so that's when progress starts!

There's not much to add really, my mum and brother had a fantastic birthday yesterday, it's my best buddies birthday today (we went out for lunch on Friday) and then my sister in law's on the 11th - but she's celebrating on the weekend. Once this week is over, hopefully things will return to their normal boring selves!

How goes the writing? Hope all is well with you & yours.

[Deleted]

Rich? Well one may view wealth based upon money, I on the other hand believe that true wealth is that of a generous heart and kind spirit. Therefore, even if you protest to not being wealthy, in my mind dear sweet Dawn...you are one of the wealthiest persons I have had the pleasure of knowing and calling my friend. That is all due to all the kindness your heart has brought into my life!

Ah...my writing is coming. Hum, the book with my son has stalled. Only a delay because of his school year wrapping up. We will be working on it more now that this week he will be on summer vacation. We have had a few creative differences...lol I like having a structure to a story before progressing further. My son prefers having the drawings before the story. I guess we are both not use to working with others. This will be a great learning experience for both of us.

Great luck with the kitchen. It will be complete before you know it.

[Deleted]

Tears

Let there be a lesson within these tears.

Blessed or cursed,
Love was embraced and forgotten.

You were a gift,
Yet as swiftly my punishment.

Loving you was a battle,
Just for my heart to survive.

Sanity thrown to the side,
And passion without caution.

Loving you was like heaven,
Rising above all thought.

Reason lost in the ride,
And wanting only to go faster.

Let there be a lesson in these tears...

Stunned but able to stand,
Nothing left as all was given.

Now moving on.

Let there be a lesson in these tears...

No dreams.

No nightmares.

Just a lesson.

Just a reason.

And I will walk on.

[dawn]

Oh Star, once again you have me in tears at your kind words! Don't worry, they are happy tears! It's always nice to feel appreciated. I hope you know how much I appreciate your friendship too, you are so generous of spirit and it is an amazing gift you have to make everyone feel appreciated & special. Its boards like this that make me realise how amazing the internet can be! This board always makes me happy that I decided to watch that little show, tucked away on a Sunday night called Rock Star INXS!

You & your son are so cute, I can picture the discussions about this book and both of you trying to compromise. Maybe this one you can do his way and the next book you do yours (or vice versa - I don't want to be seen to be taking sides!)

So yeah, the kitchen, well at the moment it's still a shell, but with wires now! The new electricity box goes in today, but he's still got loads of the house to do, I think it's just over a week today that I get the house back and it'll be great. It's surprising how long 8 days is when you're waiting for something - I guess it's like being a child again waiting for Christmas or a birthday!

[Deleted]

Awe...thank you so much for saying that Dawn :) I am just me...whatever that is...lol

I realize that it must be a huge task at hand, getting all of your work done around the house. Yet just think how wonderful it will be once all of your remodeling is completed. You will have a lovely home you will be proud of. All you have to do is see past all the chaos to the grander picture. Meanwhile, lot's of deep breathing and try to take a few minutes each night to reflect on all the positive aspects of the day. Often are stress is due to negative thoughts...try to focus on the positive.

My son and I will be okay...lol My daughter is the one I would be afraid to work with...she is as stubborn as I am....lmao But they are great kids. They are so unique and amazing. Baby boy just turned 11 and my little girl is 3. I will let you know when we finish the book.

Miss you.

[dawn]

11! Wait, really?

I'm sure when it comes time to work with your little girl, you'll have patience to spare! I think this is such a brilliant idea and not only helps their creativity, but makes something real that can last forever. I remember telling my mum when I was still in junior school (so about 9) that I was going to be a writer when I grew up and was asked "and what are you going to do for a proper job?". Talk about knocking the wind out of my sails. I was and still am a sensitive child (older doesn't mean tougher in my case!), and didn't enjoy writing as much after that. Here I am wallowing - that's all I seem to be doing these days. I really must snap out of it! The sun has been shining constantly for 3 days now - I think that's a heatwave over here!

Hopefully tonight the kitchen will start to look different - apparently the electrics in the kitchen are done, and it's plastering & new ceiling time today & tomorrow, this time next week it'll all be done, and in a fortnight, I'll probably forget the chaos completely!

Have to see the dentist later - on Friday the 13th too! I didn't think about that date when I booked it! Having a tooth out for the first time - see not all us Brits have bad teeth!

So, what's going on with you - how's life going?

[Deleted]

(((Big hugs)))... Awe Dawn. We are each meant to be unique. That is what makes being human such a mixed blessing. Being unique is so beautiful...yet is difficult on our souls when we are told so often how we are supposed to "fit in". I say don't fit in. Be as beautiful as your spirit was meant to be in this life...and always.

Being emotional...or sensitive... If more people truly owned up to how they felt, then the world would be less screwed up. Emotions are honest. Emotions are real. Don't feel ashamed for showing them. We can not be strong all the time. And we shouldn't have to apologize for having feelings. You should not apologize for having feelings.

You can be whatever you want to be in this life Dawn. Never let anyone tell you differently. Never believe those that couldn't hold onto faith. They placed there own sorrow in your hands, for being more open than they are. Being a writer...why not? Even now...if just for yourself or to a larger audience (if that is what you want to do). I am sorry that you had to hear those words at such an young age. Honestly, I heard the same things...even now. It hurt. It hurts. Yet, now as an adult I know better. I hope you do too. Do whatever you want. Never loose hope and realize that they all are wrong. You can do anything you want... Just have faith in yourself.

Yes, my son just turned 11. My daughter is 3. I am 37...lol

Sounds like your remodeling is coming out quickly. Soon you will have a beautiful kitchen! That is a terrific thing. I am so happy for you

No worries... The 13th is a good luck day! I at least think so. My daughter was born on the 13th of January. So her first birthday was on a Friday the 13th...it was wonderful.

I hope that you appointment at the dentist went well. Hum...I never thought a thing about British having dental issues. Actually, you have better health care than we do here in the States. If anything I have noticed how many hotties are British men...swoon...lol Sorry. I am single, so I am allowed...haha

Things are going well. Thank you for asking. We are still looking for a new place. Rent around here is horrible and there are not many places available. Small town life...lol

I am looking to see about transitioning to another job. I want something more stable for my children and myself. Sometimes, it just feels as if I'm not doing all that I supposed to with my life. I guess that is just how it goes. Things will work themselves out. I just need to focus on the bigger picture...and fight for what I want. Anything is possible right? It is all about faith.

[dawn]

Hey Star, thanks for your kind words - you may be a year younger than me, but you are so much wiser!

As for not doing all you're supposed to - I think everyone feels like that at some point in their lives and I believe there is more pressure if you're a mum. These days (if you believe the media!), it's thought unless you're raising the perfect children, living in the perfect house with perfect husband, keeping the high powered job, cooking all your meals from scratch and having several fabulous holidays every year then you're a success - I believe if you're all happy and healthy, that's a success!

I survived the dentist! It wasn't too bad, I'd rather have that than a filling that's for sure! Our health care is pretty good - when it works, but at least we have the option of paying for it. We still pay something towards the dental costs, but it's nothing like "going private". Instead of the £50 I paid, it would have been probably 4 times that without our NHS. It does, however, mean that when waiting for blood test results or things like that at the doctors, you have to wait at least a week.

My nephew was born on the 13th too - of July. He finishes his exams this year - can't believe he'll be 16 next month. It doesn't seem that long ago I could fit him in my arms and now he's taller than me!

Kitchen is taking shape, hopefully today there will be real progress as it starts coming together. It was plastered on Friday (the poor guy didn't leave till 9:30 at night!), we got the first "wash coat" of paint on the walls and ceiling last night, hopefully 2nd coat tonight then we can paint the ceiling Wednesday, all while the other work is going on. We've decided to go for a really light blue - not that you'll see much of the walls! After telling my dad what colour we'd chosen yesterday, his response was "I never liked blue for a kitchen" - I said "good job you don't live in our house then!" Sometimes I'm sure he doesn't realise what he's saying or how it could be taken!

So how are the job prospects where you are - I know here they're pretty much impossible to get. Do you know what you'd like to do? I believe it would be amazing to find that thing that you're really good at, that you enjoy - that way, work will never feel like work!

So yeah, that's about as deep as I get before I've had my coffee - wishing you & your family well Star!

[Deleted]

I am happy that your tooth is better now. Dentist appointments can be overwhelming at times.

Great to hear that the kitchen is being worked on so quickly. And it sounds like it is going well. I will keep hoping that it is smooth sailing for you.

Hum... I was told if you had nothing nice to say...lol so I won't comment on the media's concept of what perfection is. Although, I will say that I am happy and that I love being a mother to both of my wonderful children. It is not easy being a single parent, but nothing worth having ever is easy. And being a parent is an honor and a privilege that I would never trade.

Now as for dream jobs... That is a great question. I suppose I will have to give that serious thought. There are things that come easy for me to do on a creative level, yet unfortunately in this unstable economy, I need to be sure I account for what is also in demand.

Coffee...poor Dawn. Hope you had a nice hot cup to help your day move forward.

[dawn]

Hi Star!

I've always got coffee on the go - after giving up alcohol and tobacco, it's the only vice I have left!

Hopefully your dream job is right around the corner, I really don't know what mine would be! I enjoy the practical sides of what I do and most of the people I work with are great (which helps!), there are days when I have to remind myself that this isn't real life - this is work, real life is the stuff that goes on outside of this building! It is so easy to get wound up (especially if you're as tightly wound as me!), sometimes you just have to take a breath. It's something I'm getting better at as I get older, I'm hoping by the time that the 40's roll around, I'll be even better at it!

I am sure one day your two children will realise everything you've done for them. It's not until I left home that I realised how much my parents did for me, and that actually, tidying my room and doing the dishes wasn't that big of a deal when you compare it to the rest of the stuff that needs to happen. It's very easy to forget those hours my mum spent with me, learning my words and teaching me basic math so I would have a grasp on some of how the world works.

Have you thought about teaching? I don't know, maybe an arts class of some description. There will always be people who need to learn and maybe then the hours would fit in with your children being at school?

The kitchen is moving along - we have running water now! I think it's the electrician holding things up, but things are taking shape and it's great seeing how much space we will now have. I'll post some before & after pics once we're done. Hopefully my photobucket account is still active? I've not been on it for years!

The sun is still shining here - it's confused us, this is over a week of solid sunshine! It helps lift the spirits that's for sure!

[dawn]

Just a quick kitchen update Star - it's done! Looks amazing. We still need to buy some tiles, but we finished painting last night. The blue looks fab (even if I do say so myself) and Art keeps saying how he feels it gives the black & cream a bit of a pop!

The rest of the house is still waiting for the electrician - it's getting frustrating now as we just want it done so we get our house back and can start enjoying it, I guess I have to learn some patience!

Oh and the sun is still shining! We had about 2 minutes of rain last night (that was needed!), but that's it - even with Wimbledon on, we have sunshine, that's unheard of over here!!!

Hope all is well with you & yours.

[Deleted]

I am so happy for you! It must be an amazing kitchen now. Hopefully, the rest of the work is finished soon.

Sorry I haven't been around, I have been busy. I was on leave for 8 weeks from surgery, and finally am able to work again. First day back and I had a lot to do.

I have thought about teaching. Actually I wouldn't mind teaching fitness... I just am having a difficult time finding a place to do the certification testing that is needed in my area.

When I was in college, I took dance. I was actually part of the dance company. I studied Ballet, Jazz, Modern, Contemporary, Flamenco, and even Hip Hop ( which I sucked at btw). We had to take courses on all types of conditioning and fitness to stay in the company. It was fun...and I loved that we would go out and teach kids in local schools as an outreach program.

I still dance...but mostly to stay in shape. I thought it would be fun to teach some type of fitness. If not then I will have to see what else I decide to do.

Have a great week Dawn... Miss you.

[dawn]

Hey Star,

Sending you good vibes after surgery - I hope you're OK?

Am now on 2 weeks vacation with Art, nothing fancy, just resting at home - trying to put things back together & clear out the dust after the building works! Electrical work is now done, so now it's tidying time!

I guess with teaching dance, it's not like you can do an online course - so finding somewhere to get the certification is more difficult. Would you need all that to teach children - or run an outreach program of your own? You could teach several creative outlets - dancing/writing/photography/art, whatever motivates people! I know we've never met - but could definitely imagine you doing something like that.

Hope you don't rush into anything and hurt yourself after surgery - feel free to write back anytime!

[Deleted]

No worries Dawn. I am back to my bouncy little self...lol Honestly, the surgery was 7 weeks ago. I just didn't want to make a big deal about it. I had to have a hysterectomy, which was a long time coming. I just ran out of options and my pain was constant. Now I am all better and that is important... My kids need me in tip top shape.

It is great to hear that your on vacation with your love both of you deserve some time to relax.

I am looking into my options. Your right...I have always worked well with children. It would be fun. I think if I had my way I would try to put together a non profit organization to help kids. Maybe an after school program or something to do with the arts. For me having a creative outlet was important...and it has always been the one constant in my life that has helped center me. I would hope that I could share that and help others find that creative outlet as well.

Right now it is just work and trying to find a new place to live. I wrote a few new pieces on my deviant art, but it need to make time to post them here.

Miss you.

[Deleted]

Since I keep forgetting to post my works here, I will just write one off the top of my head.


Forgive Me

Forgive me,
For all the things that I never said.

Never telling you,
How much I loved and needed you.

Forgetting to say thank you,
For even the smallest thing you did for me.

Forgive me,
For not being stronger...
When you needed my strength.

Never telling you,
It was only human,
For you to show me your weaker side.

Forgetting to say,
Just how much you meant to me.

If I could do it all over again,
I would.

I would tell you,
What you needed and deserved.

I would be the person,
That you needed me to be.

But I can not...
Our time has long passed.

Now all that is left for me is to hope,
That you know what was truly in my heart.

Forgive me.

[Deleted]

Just playing with an idea...

- Sound Surrender -

Come walk into my sound surrender...
Music to my ears.

Beating to the rhythm of my heart.

I see you,
Looking my way.

I see you waiting for a sign.

Come here,
Just a little bit closer.

Come stand next to me.

You look like what I need,
You look like everything I want.

Come on Baby...
Let it all go.

Give in.

Come walk into my sound surrender,
And just feel everything I have to offer.

Just one touch.

Give into my sound surrender.

[dawn]

Hey Star! I'm back!

Sorry to hear about your surgery - sounds major, especially for one so young.

I was told in June that I have a cyst on my ovary, I'm waiting for a hospital appointment (8th August) to find out more about it, I haven't told my family yet as I don't know what I'm dealing with (if anything). I had a blood test to check levels for the chance of ovarian cancer - but never rang about the results - I figured if it was urgent, the doctors would have rushed my appointment through, rather than make me wait 2 months.

I definitely hear that second piece as a song, not just because of the title - I could almost hear that as lyrics (if that makes sense).

You're looking to move as well as a new job? Wow, that's a lot of stress going on with you. I wish you well with all that you're going through and that the right home & right job comes along soon. The idea of a not for profit after school club sounds great - when I win the lottery, I'll remember to finance it for you!

I guess I'd better find out what's been going on here for the last fortnight - so far, it doesn't look like much has happened, apart from the fact that my nice, tidy lab has been turned upside down by Bill being on his own for that much time! He cannot leave surfaces clear!

Take care