Got Poetry? III

[Deleted]

I am sorry to hear they found a cyst on your ovary. Hopefully, it is something that can be treated without surgery. I am sure they would have called you in sooner if they had any red flags found on the test.

As for my surgery, I had long standing issues with cramp like pain that would never stop and other issue's. They tried everything the doctors recommended to make the issues go away, but nothing helped. Finally we ran out of options that were non surgical, and those other options that were less aggressive would not have helped with all the problems that I had. So, it was the only option left.

They removed the entire uterus and the cervix. I was able to keep my ovaries. Since the surgery was also done vaginally my recovery time was quicker. 30 internal stitches in all...and had to take 6 to 8 weeks off from work. Now I am all better. No more pain! Can I say how happy I am I had the surgery. Yes, I am young to have had it. Yet, more women are having to have this type of procedure these days. For myself this was the best option. Living in pain and not being able to enjoy life fully, was not an option. I needed help and the procedure was the only way.

Honestly, I feel a million times better.

And we moved to another house just a block away...lol Unfortunately, the house we were renting was sold buy the owner and that is why we had to move in the first place. The new house is a bit smaller, but it is nice. My kids are happy with it.

I hope life is treating you well and that you had a good holiday off.

[dawn]

Hey Star - thanks for sharing. I'm hoping the time the doctors are taking means it's a positive thing, but could do without all the waiting, especially as I am a world-class worrier! After the hospital visit, hopefully I'll know a bit more, then know if I have to start telling people - which is an odd thing to type when I've put it on an internet notice board! As I said, I've not told my family, they'll treat me differently and right now, I don't need that.

I'm glad you're feeling better and you're not in pain anymore, it's got to be a great thing. Being able to get out there and enjoy your life doing what you love is important and your children must be happier that they've got their mom back!

Great to hear that the house you're in now is loved by your kids, the size of the house doesn't matter - it's the love inside the home.

The fortnight off was great - once we finally relaxed. We're looking forward to the next one - it's when Jet visits with her sister. It's going to be amazing! It'll be nice to be a tourist in my home town for a while. Hopefully I'll get good news in August so I can relax with Jo & her sis - I say relax, I'm sure she's got a million and one things planned for her visit!

One of the guys from here is retiring today - he's been like my councellor for a few years when work gets too much. I'm going to really miss him, but it's great that he's going while he still has his health & he has a place out in Spain which he's going to stay at for a month soon - that's a way to start your retirement in my eyes! It's just a shame the another big character from here is going. I'm never good at goodbyes. I've always preferred see you soon!

[dawn]

Hey Star - just wondering how you're doing - not heard from you in a while. I hope everything is OK and am guessing you're busy with living life!

Take care,

Me

[Deleted]

Jul 31, 2014 2:10:53 GMT -5 dawn said:

Hey Star - just wondering how you're doing - not heard from you in a while. I hope everything is OK and am guessing you're busy with living life!

Take care,

Me

Awe...sorry. I have been busy. Lately, it has become a lot of self assessment and understanding. Seems like the older I become, the more that I find myself yearning to be a better person. It is far from easy...lol

I am doing well. Working and trying to get my summer hours. Around here come winter things tend to slow. Only tourists come to ski and that means less hours for us at work.

I hope everything is great with you!

Miss you tons...

[dawn]

Just try to be the best you that you can - don't compare yourself to others, that stopped a lot of stress in my life. Also means I don't have to feel like I failed if I do something wrong!

Not much to report from here really. My mind isn't on work, I think it's going to be a long week!!!

[Deleted]

Thank you Dawn I am trying to get rid of bad habits... Like being stubborn or jumping before fully getting the entire picture. Most of it has become about teaching myself to think before I act and also about learning to see through other's eyes. I would hope to be a better person and a role model for my kids by doing this. Also, not taking everything so serious. Life is just life...things will happen good or bad...I just want to learn to take it all in and adjust as needed. Less stress...lol

My week has been all about work. I have a dentist appt. for my daughter tomorrow. Her 6 months cleaning. Should go well, she likes her dentist...they give her toys, a certificate and a balloon. Children's only dentist...and they are really great for nervous little one's. It makes the whole experience run smoothly. My son is the next one I need to take. He is almost due...but he also needs an update in his booster shots. Not fun

[dawn]

Wow, I wish I had your kids' dentist!!! To be fair, mine's really nice, I still don't enjoy the experience and never did. It's the weird smell and the gloves that creep me out! Best of luck with your son's boosters, hopefully all will go well for both of you.

As for the other stuff, I think we all have moments like that, and we all have times when we can say "f*ck it, that's life, I'm not going to worry about it" and then other days when it's the only things on our minds. I believe we're progammmed to be a certain way and to break that programming takes serious work. It took me many years to be able to leave work at work, and for the most part, I can, I just find it difficult to leave home at home if there's something big going on. I think a lot of the not acting on impulse and getting all the facts comes with age & experience. I'm sure that's why you don't hear of many impulsive pensioners, but you're always hearing about younger people running off & doing something crazy.

I would say I'm more chilled out & relaxed than I used to be (normally), but unfortunately at the moment with everything going on, trying to relax is difficult. It really helps that Art "doesn't do" stress, so he's a relaxing, calming influence to me and I try to absorb that energy as much as possible around him.

So yeah, big day tomorrow. Hospital appointment for cyst. Time to find out what the next step is, if there is one. It's scary that there is no indication if it's going to be a "it's fine, it's not grown, get on with your life" or "it needs removing" or "everything needs removing" or "sorry Dawn, you have cancer, here's what's going to happen". Obviously, I'm hoping for the first one, it's impossible to prepare for the last one. I'd hope if they thought it was something sinister, they would have acted a bit quicker. Sorry, I'm rambling again. I'll update once I know what's going on - I keep hearing "you'll be fine", which is now getting annoying, but hopefully truthful.

Oh well, 17 minutes left of the working day then I can get outta here. Take care, keep taking time for those breaths!

[Deleted]

Huge hugs coming your way Dawn (((hugs)))! Just take everything one step at a time...just think positive thoughts. Tomorrow they will check you and then you can go from there. I will say a prayer for you. Just try not to stress...that never helps.

[dawn]

Hey you - just to let you know - all went well. Cyst has gone, it's functional. It was over 10 cm long when I went originally, but there was no trace today. Phew, no surgery, no cancer, life carries on as normal.

YEY!!!!

Better result than I thought possible.

[Deleted]

That is great news Dawn! I am so happy to hear that everything is well ((( big hugs)))

[dawn]

Hey Star. Thanks for the hugs!

So yeah, that makes it a lot easier and now I'm sure I made the right decision in not worrying my family with something that turned out to be nothing.

Lots of smiles and grinning over the weekend in castle Dawn/Art!

How's you?

[Deleted]

Hi Dawn Well in all honesty, I do recall having been better...lol I have a lot on my plate and my one possible 'bright side' just dimmed into total darkness tonight. Why do people make life so difficult? Seriously...work with me people! Lmao

Other than that, well life goes on. Work...blah...blah...blah... Single life...blah...blah...blah Headaches...blah...blah...blah

[dawn]

Oh no Star, sounds like you're going through a tough time at the moment. I hope you're taking time to breathe & realise it's not all shite, your children will always light the way for your heart (wow - that's almost poetic for me!). I hope your plate empties soon and you realise that the possible bright side wasn't so bright after all!

Things here are much the same, it's weird, since being given the all clear, I've been feeling a bit down. I expected to be riding the ceiling with happiness, but I've not been like that. I guess it will take a while for the stress to leave me after 4 months of being convinced I had the dreaded big c. I guess it's realising that life goes on, blah blah blah (as you say) and nothing changed. Maybe I expected a change - maybe I'm making no sense? I don't know. I tend to type what I'm thinking - so apologies if none of this makes sense.

Sorry to hear you're having it rough right now - I believe there is a balance and the only thing that keeps me going some days is knowing one day I'll have that awesomely good day that balances the shit out!

Take care,

Me

[Deleted]

Dawn you have nothing at all to apologize about...and you have every right to feel the way you do. I cannot begin to imagine what you went through emotionally or physically all that time. And it was a huge scare! I think under the circumstances that you handled it with grace only few could have attempted. You should be proud of how well you stayed pulled together.

No worries about me Hey, it is just life...lol It would be boring if everything went perfectly anyway. I just have a lot going on right now. Some is not great, but I have to have faith that this is just another life lesson and that this experience is just to teach me something I need to understand. Yes, I could be all pouty and negative...lol...but that would be way too easy and shitty of me. People have to deal with worse stuff everyday. Whining is simple, yet worthless. Truth be told it is all useless...it is the positive that moves the world forward, while the negative just drags us on a backwards path. I refuse to go anywhere but forward!

I did whine...but I just had to vent. Better than me stomping my feet and shouting at the top of my lungs...since posting that would have not worked at all...haha

I hope that you stop worrying sweet Dawn (((hugs)) and are able to fully enjoy the opportunity that you have been given to enjoy a long and healthy life. The scare forced you to see all that you might have lost. Now that you have life given back to you, embrace it and realize what a gift life is...and it is yours. Live. Love. Be happy.

[dawn]

Hey Star - it's always great to hear from you and thanks for the encouragement! Feel free to rant & vent as much as you like, but yeah, you're right, shouting loudly and stamping your feet doesn't translate so easily to text!

There's not much of an update with me, life is ticking along, so is work. Bill is still being Bill, where he is the only person who matters in the universe, it really could upset me if I could be bothered, but it's been the same forever - I won't change him!

It's weird to think in about a month I'll be meeting Jet for the first time! We really need to get some space sorted out for her to sleep! I am looking forward to being a tourist in my own city, I hope the weather clears up for it, we've had nothing but rain for days!

I've said it before & I'll say it again, I do love your attitude Star, it's easy to get bogged down with all the crap, it's hard to pull yourself out & see the positive, so good on ya for doing it.

[Deleted]

I know I didn't want to stop posting here, but I have so much going on in my life right now that it is difficult to keep coming on the board. Right now I need to focus on what I have on my plate. For that reason I am going to to sign off here. This board has meant the world to me for many years. Everyone has been my LH family...but it is time for me to let go and move on. I thank everyone for their support and especially Dawn whom I adore. If you need me Dawn you know how to reach me and I know how to reach you.

Thank you everyone for all the memories.