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Post by Ceeje on Jun 9, 2008 12:51:11 GMT -5
I think this kind of feels like a divorce. We Hammerheads are the kids and our parents (the Lhs) are getting divorced.
Most kids of divorce feel like they have to pick sides and blame one parent for the divorce. Some kids put up blinders and never accept the fact; they always think Mom and Dad will get back together. Let's face it. The Lhs have been together longer than most marriages these days! But the thing about being a kid in a divorce is that the kid doesn't *really* know everything that's going on. We haven't lived as our "Mom" or "Dad." We don't know their thoughts or feelings. We don't know *everything* that has happened and been said. Yes, we can be sad. Yes, we can cry. Yes, we can get mad. And, yes, we can hope for the best. But we don't have to stop loving either "parent." Can't we love them all?
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bostongirl
Welcoming Committee Member 
Hope - the only cure all
Posts: 1,511
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Post by bostongirl on Jun 9, 2008 13:02:09 GMT -5
Ceeje - you are always so eloquent. I have been thinking the same thing. A divorce, a death, change - they are all about losing something and the grief process
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has written about the 5 stages of grief. I think it helps a little to understand this process when people are going thru so I will give everyone my Readers Digest version:
5 Stages of Grief
1. Denial/Isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
I think we have seen examples of each posted around cyberspace. People are grieving and want to blame. Some will never be able to get past that. I hope most everyone can and will get to the acceptance stage and support all 4 members of the band we have come to love so much.
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Post by tine62888 on Jun 9, 2008 14:26:34 GMT -5
i would have to sooooo agree with you steph!!!! he really just didnt seem like he cared how it affected them cause they all seemed really shocked when it happened......
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Post by Ceeje on Jun 9, 2008 14:27:29 GMT -5
You're entitled to your opinion, even if it's only based on one part of the "story". But, it's not your life. It's Marty's. Thanks for posting.
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Post by whatsmynameagainn on Jun 9, 2008 14:35:35 GMT -5
burn....steph, nice
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Post by Cindy on Jun 9, 2008 15:13:12 GMT -5
Attention K-Mart shoppers. Clean up in aisle 9.
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lhfan4life
Welcoming Committee Member
waiting for a Marty moment to call my own!
Posts: 658
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Post by lhfan4life on Jun 9, 2008 15:25:02 GMT -5
;D ;D ;D ;D
Cindy have i told you lately that you rock???
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Post by Amy on Jun 9, 2008 15:27:54 GMT -5
Okay, gang......I apologize for the ruckus. Some people with nothing better to do with their precious time decided that it would be beneficial to the Lovehammers to come over here and make negative posts. How does that benefit the band? It doesn't......so we've put a stop to it. I wish people would use all that energy to actually HELP the band. Anyway, sorry this thread was temporarily derailed and disrupted. Commence posting.  |
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bostongirl
Welcoming Committee Member
Hope - the only cure all
Posts: 1,511
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Post by bostongirl on Jun 9, 2008 15:35:53 GMT -5
Cindy - love your humor ;D ;D.
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Post by Rachel on Jun 9, 2008 15:37:55 GMT -5
Hey guys, so I see there has been much debating and emotional writing in this post....we are all emotional but some people got downright rude and where banned. Im not here to bash anyone, or start an argument. Im here for the freindships I have made with so many fans, The bands (togather or not) and the glue that holds us all togather the MUSIC. LH music is truly magical, as Dino has said. I dont espicially aggree with Marty decision for one thing, LA guns, had there break... thats all im gonna say for that subject. So... for the year that LH is on hold (and hopefully pushes play after a year) I will confide in the many other bands that have changed my life. None of them a important as LH though. On a lighter note, the money I had saved for Chicago this summer can go to college, and seeing OURS this august!!  Im now, in the acceptance and moving on stage...  |
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UandMe
18 and over
Posts: 15,144
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Post by UandMe on Jun 9, 2008 15:42:28 GMT -5
Cindy - love your humor ;D ;D. Personally, I found it rather offensive and contrary to the so-called 'peace process.' Please hold all parties, including oneselves, to the same standards. Just sayin.' |
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Post by Cindy on Jun 9, 2008 16:03:55 GMT -5
Sorry it upset you UandMe. I apologize. I try to use a bit of humor to defuse the ugliness of all of this. I have a pretty wry sense of humor which I understand not everyone will appreciate.
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Post by Rachel on Jun 9, 2008 16:19:27 GMT -5
I think everyone needs to chill out.....its very akward over here anymore? Im a very sarcastic person, and dont get allong with people who take themselves really serious. Laughter is the key!  |
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HY
18 and over
Mad Potter & Photoshopper
Posts: 3,636
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Post by HY on Jun 9, 2008 16:36:48 GMT -5
I’ve been trying to decide exactly how I feel about this for the past week. I’m past most of my anger (not all), but I still start to cry every once in a while – from the hurt I feel for the band and the fact that I may never hear new Lovehammers music. But this is the way I see it as of today – who knows, this might change again in the future.
This is Marty’s life. He’s the only one who can take responsibility and live with his decisions. And yes, his decisions really only affect him and Lovehammers. They are the ones who have to deal with one another – for the good or the bad. We are just the audience, and as much as we feel hurt and anger at this – we really have nothing to say in how this works itself out.
These are the decisions that Marty made and will have to live with:
1. He made the decision to leave Lovehammers, a band he had been with for almost 20 years, to join a has-been 80’s band (well, Traci Guns from that band and several new members) that is not even the headliners on this world tour, and who, at one point, actually asked to OPEN for Lovehammers. (from Dino)
2. He made the decision months ago to not talk to the band about how he was feeling, instead keeping it inside until he got to this point where he felt he had no other choice but to just walk away. (Just my take on various statements I’ve read and heard by Marty and the band)
3. He made the decision to walk out on Lovehammers when they had 2 contracted charity shows, one for veterans (which has always been a topic of interest for the band). This does not help his or Lovehammers reputation, walking out on charity shows.
4. He made the decision to do this in a matter of days (or less – I don’t really know how much lead time he gave LH), giving his band mates no time to really discuss it with him or try to dissuade him from his choice. (at least this is my understanding from what I’ve read)
5. He made the decision to take an action which so desperately hurt, confused and saddened (and angered) his long time band mates and friends (this I’m getting from statements made by Dan, Dino and Bobby).
Yes, it is Marty and LH who will have to live with and deal with these decisions. And it is Marty and LH who will suffer by this “betrayal” of friendship (sorry, I really can’t think of a better word for this). Marty said he didn’t do this to hurt anyone, but he must have known how much it would hurt his band mates. Marty has said it’s because he was feeling held back (or stuck) creatively – and that may be true. However, just last month (in more than one interview) – he also said that Lovehammers were working hard in the studio to record a new CD and had several shows planned for the summer. And he sounded pretty enthusiastic about those shows and that CD. Then we find out he must not have included himself in that, since he’s been working for the past month or more in LA and Canada with LA Guns on THEIR CD. Maybe Marty’s just a very good actor who can convincingly say whatever his audience wants and needs to hear. (OK, my anger’s coming through again, time to stop.)
As for me, I have been a Lovehammers fan and dedicated Hammerhead for the past almost 3 years. I will stay a Lovehammers fan and dedicated Hammerhead.
All I can do is be saddened by this turn of events. I will try to understand how and why he could do what he did. It’s not up to me to forgive him for anything he did – that’s for his band mates to do. For his sake I will even give LA Guns a chance – for I still love Marty’s musical abilities, and I can’t imagine not listening to him.
But right now, my heart and my support go with the rest of Lovehammers, in whatever they decide to do now and in the future.
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lhfan4life
Welcoming Committee Member
waiting for a Marty moment to call my own!
Posts: 658
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Post by lhfan4life on Jun 9, 2008 16:43:53 GMT -5
I think it literally happened that quick because i remember one day a few days before the announcement was made seeing a solo show posted for Marty at a local club here in Florida and i remember messaging everyone down here i know that he was coming, and it was literally the next day that it was removed from that bar's my space page. It was less than 24 hours. Imagine how quickly he must have had to tell the band.....
Wow, i would have loved to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.....had to be a tough one.
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Post by Rachel on Jun 9, 2008 16:47:38 GMT -5
I find Hardore music, and Jared Leto thereputic, u guys try? it helps with coping for me, lol hahahha
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ndavis021410
18 and over
Dino's Defender
My Intrepid Friend
Posts: 28,254
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Post by ndavis021410 on Jun 9, 2008 16:48:57 GMT -5
the hate needs to stop on BOTH sides and ya can't say it's not here. The LOVEhammers have given us magic, but they've been such a force in our own personal lives that emotions are going to run high, and he said, she said will forever be a part. HATE is not healthy. Advice comin' from a person that hasn't been a part of the LH's for over a year, to people that have soooo much grand passion for Marty (Amy and Cindy), to everyone here, needs, deserves, and are PEOPLE, they deserve respect, JUST AS YOU DO. I'm sick from this trash talk on BOTH sides, and will reside at the store until it's done. try it there, and I'll delete it. I love everyone from both sides. Can't say I don't. I LOVE and admire the people at lh.com for coming out, and expressing their love of the Lovehammers, pain is STILL very much felt, and one can not be forced to get on the cheerleading wagon so soon after such a horrible blow to one's heart. Both sides NEEDS to grow up, stop throwing names, and talking behind people's back. People are people. NO matter their forms of communications.........I LOVE and admire the people that come here as well, for their love, their passion, and their hearts. It used to be a class act here, and no amount of dry humor calling each other names from one side to another will help anyone.  there  I'm done for the week  Nancy once again, try this shit at the store, and I"ll delete the post and tell ya where to go, but I would NEVER ban a person for expressing their thoughts during a time of pure and extreme love for NOT only Marty, but for the band he proclaimed was his to lead for 20 years. Ok, I'm really done now BITE ME ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D P.S. Bite me is for anyone that thinks I'm a bitch....I'm TRYING to make sense and LOVE everyone here, JUST LIKE I KNOW DINO WOULD WANT. SPREAD THE DAMMED LOVE  |
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ndavis021410
18 and over
Dino's Defender
My Intrepid Friend
Posts: 28,254
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Post by ndavis021410 on Jun 9, 2008 16:49:41 GMT -5
I’ve been trying to decide exactly how I feel about this for the past week. I’m past most of my anger (not all), but I still start to cry every once in a while – from the hurt I feel for the band and the fact that I may never hear new Lovehammers music. But this is the way I see it as of today – who knows, this might change again in the future. This is Marty’s life. He’s the only one who can take responsibility and live with his decisions. And yes, his decisions really only affect him and Lovehammers. They are the ones who have to deal with one another – for the good or the bad. We are just the audience, and as much as we feel hurt and anger at this – we really have nothing to say in how this works itself out. These are the decisions that Marty made and will have to live with: 1. He made the decision to leave Lovehammers, a band he had been with for almost 20 years, to join a has-been 80’s band (well, Traci Guns from that band and several new members) that is not even the headliners on this world tour, and who, at one point, actually asked to OPEN for Lovehammers. (from Dino) 2. He made the decision months ago to not talk to the band about how he was feeling, instead keeping it inside until he got to this point where he felt he had no other choice but to just walk away. (Just my take on various statements I’ve read and heard by Marty and the band) 3. He made the decision to walk out on Lovehammers when they had 2 contracted charity shows, one for veterans (which has always been a topic of interest for the band). This does not help his or Lovehammers reputation, walking out on charity shows. 4. He made the decision to do this in a matter of days (or less – I don’t really know how much lead time he gave LH), giving his band mates no time to really discuss it with him or try to dissuade him from his choice. (at least this is my understanding from what I’ve read) 5. He made the decision to take an action which so desperately hurt, confused and saddened (and angered) his long time band mates and friends (this I’m getting from statements made by Dan, Dino and Bobby). Yes, it is Marty and LH who will have to live with and deal with these decisions. And it is Marty and LH who will suffer by this “betrayal” of friendship (sorry, I really can’t think of a better word for this). Marty said he didn’t do this to hurt anyone, but he must have known how much it would hurt his band mates. Marty has said it’s because he was feeling held back (or stuck) creatively – and that may be true. However, just last month (in more than one interview) – he also said that Lovehammers were working hard in the studio to record a new CD and had several shows planned for the summer. And he sounded pretty enthusiastic about those shows and that CD. Then we find out he must not have included himself in that, since he’s been working for the past month or more in LA and Canada with LA Guns on THEIR CD. Maybe Marty’s just a very good actor who can convincingly say whatever his audience wants and needs to hear. (OK, my anger’s coming through again, time to stop.) As for me, I have been a Lovehammers fan and dedicated Hammerhead for the past almost 3 years. I will stay a Lovehammers fan and dedicated Hammerhead. All I can do is be saddened by this turn of events. I will try to understand how and why he could do what he did. It’s not up to me to forgive him for anything he did – that’s for his band mates to do. For his sake I will even give LA Guns a chance – for I still love Marty’s musical abilities, and I can’t imagine not listening to him. But right now, my heart and my support go with the rest of Lovehammers, in whatever they decide to do now and in the future. EXCELLENT post my friend |
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HY
18 and over
Mad Potter & Photoshopper
Posts: 3,636
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Post by HY on Jun 9, 2008 16:51:37 GMT -5
the hate needs to stop on BOTH sides and ya can't say it's not here. The LOVEhammers have given us magic, but they've been such a force in our own personal lives that emotions are going to run high, and he said, she said will forever be a part. HATE is not healthy. Advice comin' from a person that hasn't been a part of the LH's for over a year, to people that have soooo much grand passion for Marty (Amy and Cindy), to everyone here, needs, deserves, and are PEOPLE, they deserve respect, JUST AS YOU DO. I'm sick from this trash talk on BOTH sides, and will reside at the store until it's done. try it there, and I'll delete it. I love everyone from both sides. Can't say I don't. I LOVE and admire the people at lh.com for coming out, and expressing their love of the Lovehammers, pain is STILL very much felt, and one can not be forced to get on the cheerleading wagon so soon after such a horrible blow to one's heart. Both sides NEEDS to grow up, stop throwing names, and talking behind people's back. People are people. NO matter their forms of communications.........I LOVE and admire the people that come here as well, for their love, their passion, and their hearts. It used to be a class act here, and no amount of dry humor calling each other names from one side to another will help anyone. there I'm done for the week Nancy once again, try this shit at the store, and I"ll delete the post and tell ya where to go, but I would NEVER ban a person for expressing their thoughts during a time of pure and extreme love for NOT only Marty, but for the band he proclaimed was his to lead for 20 years. Ok, I'm really done now BITE ME ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D P.S. Bite me is for anyone that thinks I'm a bitch....I'm TRYING to make sense and LOVE everyone here, JUST LIKE I KNOW DINO WOULD WANT. SPREAD THE DAMMED LOVE ;D ;D ;D ;D Love you, Nancy  |
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Post by blueeyz on Jun 9, 2008 16:51:38 GMT -5
Okay, gang......I apologize for the ruckus. Some people with nothing better to do with their precious time decided that it would be beneficial to the Lovehammers to come over here and make negative posts. How does that benefit the band? It doesn't......so we've put a stop to it. I wish people would use all that energy to actually HELP the band. Anyway, sorry this thread was temporarily derailed and disrupted. Commence posting. I couldn't agree more......the energy and emotions should be used to help and support the Lovehammers. Hopefully the "anger" stage for those will end soon. Wow, for anyone with an interest or major in sociology, this is the place to be!  |
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