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Post by starcrossed on Apr 17, 2007 18:38:13 GMT -5
LOL...I thought so.
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Post by redjasper on Apr 17, 2007 18:42:23 GMT -5
 Hey I know what ya mean being truly moved by Marty answering our Q's...I'm for sure STILL on  It is sooo GREAT to finally admire someone who is soo down to earth and sees us fans as equals(almost like were all friends or something!) I look forward to more of your work and as new poet your doing fantastic job! Keep it up! [img src=" ![]() lovehammersecards.com/MCorg/smilies/thumbsup.gif"] [/IMG] peace Shawna[/quote] Yes, Marty is a one-of-a-kind man, that's for sure!!  I enjoy your poems because they are playful and colourful. I tend to be a minimalist with words - in prose and poetry. It's the kind of person I am. If I could work on something in particular, it would be using colour to evoke images. Your poems make me want to do that! |
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Post by Sunflower Gypsy on Apr 17, 2007 18:49:27 GMT -5
Hi RJ! I'm so glad that my poetry style has given inspiration...I kinda got that hippie-style of poetry...I guess I could have been one had I been 18 or so in the late 60's. Anyway just keep plugging away as...with every poem ya do the more and more you'll find that to be a poet it just takes seeking out your dreams and thoughts of the world and atmosphere around you past..present and future. Poems can be as short or as long as ya want...you might even try writing in story-style that way you can create a new style all your own. It's fun...I'm short story writer as well...create character and write in poetic way. take care ! peace SG
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Post by redjasper on Apr 17, 2007 21:49:49 GMT -5
Hi RJ! I'm so glad that my poetry style has given inspiration...I kinda got that hippie-style of poetry...I guess I could have been one had I been 18 or so in the late 60's. Anyway just keep plugging away as...with every poem ya do the more and more you'll find that to be a poet it just takes seeking out your dreams and thoughts of the world and atmosphere around you past..present and future. Poems can be as short or as long as ya want...you might even try writing in story-style that way you can create a new style all your own. It's fun...I'm short story writer as well...create character and write in poetic way. take care ! peace SG Funny, I was going to ask you what your short name was. SG. Good to know. I'm very interested in short stories. I've written a couple and I like them, but they still need work. I may post one soon. I need to have a look at it. Haven't touched it in a year or so. My writing instructor was encouraging me to send it off to a writing contest. I started a thread here for a piece of flash fiction that I wrote a little while ago - it's called Awkward. An experimental thing - by design. I totally loved writing it. I got close to submitting it last year, but lost my nerve. Anyway, I'd love to hear what you think of it. Chat with you soon... |
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Post by starcrossed on Apr 18, 2007 0:29:35 GMT -5
I guess that I should set this poem up. Well...
I was 21 and dancing with my college dance company. I was only in my 2nd year with them and I was choreographing a dance piece for the Spring show for that year. I had created the piece. Auditioned the dancers. Made the costumes. And taught them all the routine. We practiced with the Company at least 20 plus hours a week in class and after hour rehearsals. It was more than just my piece it was all of companies and the individual dance classes (all levels).
Anyway, during that time my grandfather was ill. He started out just not feeling well, and in a matter of months he was in the hospital holding on to life.
I couldn't focus during classes. But my Grandfather insisted that I buy him a ticket and that he was going to be there at the show. He had always gone to everything I had done, but he had never had the chance to see me dance.
I went through rehersals...breaking down in tears with every call on my cell phone telling me that he was getting worse.
The week before the show, I was in rehersal...I received a call on the phone that my Grandfather was really bad and that I had to get to the hospital fast. My brother came for me, and took me to see him.
The entire family was in his room and I knew that things were bad. My Grandfather was on the bed, struggling to breath, but asking for me. I walked to the bed. My heart breaking so bad that I can not even begin to describe the pain I felt. I held his hand, and told him I was there. I kissed him on the cheek and the forehead. He looked at me, and I knew. I leaned down...I whispered that it was alright...I told him that he had done everything to raise a strong family and that we would be fine. He took a last breath...I told him I loved him...and then he left the earth.
My heart was lost and I couldn't bring him back. I just remember staying there with nothing left.
The funeral was two days before the performance. I didn't want to dance. Yet, my family told me that I had to do it for him.
The night of the show...I could not think I went through the motions, just from all my training. My mom placed my Grandfather's jacket and ticket on the seat. When it was time for my dance...I just remember praying that from his place by God (now with my Grandmother) that he could see me.
This is the poem that has come from this...
Stage Lights
I can't see you here before me.
Nor feel if you are near.
So much torment inside me,
I take a moment to still my nerves.
Tear drops threaten,
They are blinding my vision.
I hold my breath,
Refuse to let them fall.
I look around me,
I am at the wings of the stage.
All my dancers slowly begin to take there places on the stage.
I say a prayer.
Close my eyes.
Pray that you shall stand here by my side.
The curtain the color of a crimson tide,
Velvet red,
Begins to rise.
I move with grace.
My body trained.
No thought within,
My heart is broken.
I dance for you,
And your silent eyes.
A river of tears,
I manage to hide.
I fall into motion,
A character that was made.
She dances lightly,
I don't even crave the stage.
The moments pass slowly.
I hold you near,
In my thoughts I can see you here.
When the performance has ended,
I hear the crowd roar.
They wish for us to take the stage,
Just for a simple encore.
I decline,
I simply can not give anymore.
I see the stage lights dimming,
Another group is to take the stage.
I walk away,
Never turn back.
Without you,
I have nothing left.
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Post by starcrossed on Apr 18, 2007 0:50:24 GMT -5
I kind of recalled to much on that one...and am now swimming in a sea my my own tears. Tried to take a minute to clear my head, but I can't focus. I know I was going to post more, but I can tell from where I am at the moment...that is just not going to happen. I should be better by tomorrow. Just need to calm my spirit down a bit. No worries. Just too well trained on 'recall' for my own good.
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Post by Sunflower Gypsy on Apr 18, 2007 1:43:39 GMT -5
  That was so beautiful SC...your grandfather would be soooo proud of you for paying tribute to him. I took dancing from ages 5-8(tap and ballet) and 6months of Jazz when i was 18. Please always feel free to share those kinds of poems...sometimes when there is emotion with it...it's a kind of therapy for the soul. Thanks for being so brave with us and sharing this poem. Having lost several grandparents myself..i know the feeling that goes with this poem. Take Care. peace SGypsy(shawna)
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Post by Sunflower Gypsy on Apr 18, 2007 1:57:39 GMT -5
Soulful Memories
_______________
Light as air and sweet as a rose....memories of him swept through my mind once again.
Recalling the day he entered my world of sunshine and rain...made my heart smile.
The soulful sound of his voice swirled through my core of thoughts... transporting my soul into the high clouds above me.
My heart did sing that day and I would forever be moved...my feet flew a little higher off the ground that day.
I could feel the souls of life embrace me and it was then I knew I would be alright.
As my body began to dance to the rhythm of a doves song that consumed the sky...images of his sweet angelic face flashed inside my head...
Thank you for being you and for giving my heart wings and the ability to soar with butterflies of a happiness.
My heart now knows peace and your light will always shine brightly through the trees of life.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
peace
SG
ps: This one came out of the stratosphere....whew!
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Post by starcrossed on Apr 18, 2007 12:45:53 GMT -5
Thank You Shawna. I am better this morning. I just went to deep into my thoughts...
My Grandparents were my life. They were the one's that helped me find my way, and understood who I was. When other's would rip me down, they picked me up. My Grandmother taught me to be a strong woman...My Grandfather showed me compassion for all life. I loved them and I will forever carry them within my soul.
I think for me...Losing my Grandmother was hard. I was only 9 years old and I didn't understand. She passed away, then my parents got divorced within a few months of that. It hurt and I had to cope fast.
Losing my Grandfather at 21...well it was so much harder. I was with him at the moment of his passing and I have never felt so helpless in all my life. Seeing the person that you love die and knowing that you can't stop that from happening in front of you...it is something that I hope no one will ever have to go through.
Life and death is a never ending circle...memories stay and the pain never fades away.
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Post by starcrossed on Apr 18, 2007 13:02:16 GMT -5
Different subject...different post....
Shawna,
That is great that you took dancing as a kid. I always wanted to, but that just never happened. So, when I entered college I decided that I would take it there.
I have studied Ballet, Jazz, Modern, Lyrical, Flamenco, Hip Hop (imagine ballerina shaking her groove thing...LOL..I suck at Hip Hop), and Latin. I know Salsa from my family. A little Disco from workshops. My specialty is Modern.
Ballet was my advanced course. I am small so it made it easier for me to go on point shoe. But, I hated them. Point shoes are like concrete boxes around your foot. I don't care how 'pretty' they look. Those shoes are like torture devices. You can go up (toe) or down...walking you look like a duck...and if you don't break the shank (the plastic piece in the shoe that allows for the arch in the foot) you are in pain. I decided to stay off point. The damage that they cause the foot was just not worth it.
Modern was freedom. I could be anything and anyone. I loved it. Performing was always fun.
I have always enjoyed being in front of a crowd. I performed in school events since grammar school. I took Choir in junior high. Color Guard, Speech and Drama in High School. I just always felt at home on stage. Guess I always felt like I was 'on stage' in life...so why not perform to a different crowd?...LOL
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Post by starcrossed on Apr 18, 2007 13:03:28 GMT -5
By the way...I did not forget. I pm'd you....This is a great new work. Thank you for sharing it Shawna!
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IWOmusic
18 and over
pianissimo
Charter Member Since Sep 2005
Posts: 2,045
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Post by IWOmusic on Apr 18, 2007 22:06:25 GMT -5
Star, the story about your Grandfather made me cry...it also reminded me about somebody very special, who always supported my musical career, but he just died before I entered Academy of Music, he never found out...that was his dream. I remember like yesterday; empty orchestra hall with judges only in a first row...and that paralyzing silence before the first note...I needed a cheer so badly...and than I've realized my Grandfather is with me to support me...I thought I never played that beautifully and passionately before...That was almost 150 candidates for that one place...judges gave me a chance. I had tears in my eyes, because I knew I would not done it without his help...Sorry, I've got too emotional  Shawna, thank you for sharing ,it's flawless... |
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bostongirl
Welcoming Committee Member 
Hope - the only cure all
Posts: 1,511
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Post by bostongirl on Apr 18, 2007 23:08:59 GMT -5
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IWOmusic
18 and over
pianissimo
Charter Member Since Sep 2005
Posts: 2,045
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Post by IWOmusic on Apr 18, 2007 23:41:38 GMT -5
That is so true Boston...you know also that it can make all the difference in child's life, to have all the support  |
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Post by starcrossed on Apr 19, 2007 0:24:40 GMT -5
Thank you Iwo and Boston.
I am sorry for your loss Iwo. It always hurts when you lose someone.
I feel blessed to have had both of them as Grandparents. They are always with me in spirit and forever in my heart.
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Post by starcrossed on Apr 19, 2007 1:47:10 GMT -5
Just a poet thinking too much...
I Loved Him
I loved him...I always have.
Though he never knew I existed.
Nor does he know now...
I can tell.
I have held on to this silent dream for so long,
That I can not remember any past.
I longed for his touch across my cheek.
To hear the sweet melody of his voice,
That some how would calm my fears.
Just to have that single moment,
When I can look into his eyes and know that he could see me...
The real me.
What would I give,
To show him I could love him back?
This life that I have lived for so long,
Still feels empty.
Yet, I am not alone.
How can I hold on to this fantasy any longer?
When time has shown no mercy,
For loves lost soul?
I am no closer now to his heart,
Than to this endless sadness that fills me.
Like a vacuous desert,
Whose last rose has bloomed.
No water has come from the heavens,
And as the last petals fall,
The rose dies ,too.
Drift away...
Angels fall...
I feel that I have lost it all.
Does he ever feel me near?
Has he ever thought of my presence in life,
Or anywhere?
I am not full of childish tales...
Or I hope I was never told lies.
When do I let go of this dream?
So long have I held on to it so dearly.
I may never find my true love...
Yet, my faith in him will never die.
I loved him...I always will.
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bostongirl
Welcoming Committee Member
Hope - the only cure all
Posts: 1,511
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Post by bostongirl on Apr 19, 2007 7:37:37 GMT -5
Star - I Loved Him is such an elegant and sweet poem. And one that many can relate to. There are so many that have some to love you here and you will never be invisible to us. And there are many different kinds of loves. (I think I feel a poem coming on !!). And some things in life are not even close to what they seem. Sounds like you are ready to move forward in a different direction but then again - somtimes as poem is just a poem - right?  |
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Post by starcrossed on Apr 19, 2007 11:29:27 GMT -5
Well, that is a good question Boston. You have me on the ropes with that one...LOL I am married to my best friend (not soul mate) and he knows that...and that has worked well for us. Now, this is where my honesty gets me into trouble if it hasn't already.
What drives me is emotion...I go with my heart 99% more than my head. That makes for great writing, but very precarious ground to live on.
I still believe that life is more than what it seems, and that nothing is more important than family and love. Money means nothing, nor does fame. For when life is over I would rather have those celebrate the life I lived, rather than collect what they feel is rightfully theres at my grave. What is rightfully theirs is not monetary...hopefully it was the love I gave them freely and with such unconditional devotion that they would be proud to have known me even for the briefest moment in their lives.
My love...I once saw a shooting star when I was 14 years old. I was standing between the courtyard of my family's home (apartments), staring at the sky. Living in a city you don't get to see stars that often. To many lights. Anyway, I was outside alone, as my mom was going upstairs to get some more change for the laundry to dry in the dryer. So, silent was the night...I looked up and for the very first time in my life I saw a shooting star. I was a romantic...always have been. Well, I didn't make a wish on that star. I just prayed that the person that was meant to love me (my soul mate) would see that same star in the sky and one day find me.
Now, a poem can just be a poem. But my writing is always a reflection of me. So what do you think? Have I given up and moved on?...Honestly...going with my heart on this. I still think my soul mate is out there, but I just do not think I will find him anymore. So much time has passed..and sadly I don't think he would know me even if I was standing right in front of his face.
That doesn't mean that I don't care...
Steph
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bostongirl
Welcoming Committee Member
Hope - the only cure all
Posts: 1,511
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Post by bostongirl on Apr 19, 2007 18:09:00 GMT -5
I think no one should ever give up looking for a soul mate. What i know to be true, is that soul mates come in many different forms and are not always the person sleeping next to you in the bed. Nor do they need to be.
I know you speak from your heart always. You have a wonderful family and people who love you very much. Soul mates come at the most unlikely times in the most unlikely places, and sometimes in the most unlikely forms. Keep the faith, yours may be standing close. And do not ever give up. Ever.
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Post by starcrossed on Apr 19, 2007 18:26:22 GMT -5
Thank you Boston.
I am blessed to have my family and friends. That love is what keeps me happy.Even if they do not always understand me or agree with what I do/ who I am...LOL
As for my soul mate. I will keep hoping.
Life is just a mystery...Sometimes it is hard...I know I haven't reached my full potential yet. I have so much more to give. Sometimes I just hope for that someone who would fully understand me. Who ever that is, I shall keep wishing the best for...even if it is not with me.
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